Obama is planning to step up the partisanship. Just when we were all getting used to being united, Obama is going to go on the attack against his opponents who oppose his policy. So, America basically.
So that’s it, dudes; we’re pretty much screwed. Obama is taking off the kid gloves and pinning them to his jacket for safekeeping. He’s going to come at us like a hamster made of steel — unstoppable.
And he’s going to take his message directly to the people and vilify us. You may think he’s done that before with the 80 million times he’s been on TV, but this time he is serious. He has his teleprompters loaded with our destruction, and it’s just waiting for his voice to unleash it. Then public opinion will turn sharply against us, and we will be chased out of town with torches and pitchforks. That’s a big thing these days because most people don’t own either a pitchfork or a torch. They’ll have to stop at Home Depot first to buy them. That’s a dedicated mob. And an economic boon for Home Depot.
Anyway, end is nigh, so gird your loins. Also, gird whatever else you might think needs girding. Really, you can’t gird too much, so go crazy with the girding. I’d recommend the Girding for Dummies book if you find it confusing.
Gird.
Wave your hands in the air like you don’t care,
Glide by the People as they start to look and stare.
Do you dance, do your dance quick
Mama, come on baby,
tell me what’s the word,
ah gird up,
Everybody say
when you hear the call
You got to get it underway,
Gird up, it’s the code word,
No matter where you say it,
You know that you’ll be heard.
Silly Socialists…..bringing a pitchfork to a gun fight……..
This made me have chortles
Pitchforks always remind me how much I love the theme song to Green Acres.
Does this mean he’ll now try to bribe Republicans too?
Do we need girdles and girders to support our girding?
Oh noes !!11!1 Teh One is breaking out the comfy chair !111!!1
Also, everyone should purchase all the Prilosec they can find, as it can be used to overcome gird. Or is that gerd? Well, just to be on the safe side, buy it so that it can’t be used against you. And bonus- it’s another economic benefit. Thanks Obama- you really are helping the economy!!!
He has got to send them to Home Depot. Lowe’s debt is priced better than Obama’s. Cant have that.
See? See What happens when Bama hangs out with the Fwench?? He starts using big fwench words with a english word stuck at the end of it. I cant even say that word. What the hell does that word mean anyway…. I wish ya’ll would start speakin mmerican…
Mmmmmm girded loin in a mango/brandy reduction with arugula on the side…..
# MarkoMancuso says:
March 31st, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Does this mean he’ll now try to bribe Republicans too?
Yep…he has announced that we can drill, baby drill. http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9EPO6880&show_article=1 (sorry I don’t know how to put a link in all pretty like)
Of course, he expects Rep.s to vote for Cap’n Trade because of this. Some will be confused and think that Cap’n Trade is Cap’n Kangaroo’s Capitalist replacement and go along with the deal.
I dunno about this girding stuff. Too close to girdle for my taste. How about jockstrapping? Now there’s a manly term for ‘ya.
So Obama is gonna step up the partisan ship? Who knew partisans had boats? Or that he needed to step up to get on it. Wouldn’t that depend on the height of the dock the partisan ship was docked too? Man, this politicking stuff is hard!
This time he’s super duper serial.
That’s not even much of a bribe, PammyV. I found the use of the word “could” to be mighty interesting.
Hello, endless court challenges.
I don’t have a torch either, but I can oppose the oppisition with my flashlight and garden trowel.
Does he really have to talk at us again? Really?!?! This “talking to” act of his is approaching an Eighth Amendment violation.
You absolutely have to put up one of those post to Myspace/facebook/twitter deals. I died when I read this at my desk at work. Oh, by the way, Ft Hood communications Nazis let you read this site, awesome.
@TGregg: There’s more there than just lyrics. In the video, the Cameo guy is wearing a girding type of device outside of his pants:
http://www.spike.com/video/cameo-word-up/2795149
For the impatient, fast forward to about 1:30 into the video.
I’ll let you and Proud Infidel argue it out over whether he’s girding or cupping.
For those of you who may be unfamiliar with girding, or lack the proper girding materials, allow me to recommend going berserker. Strip naked, paint yourself with woad, displays of arousal are optional.
Join the fight, go commando!
Short of just having Republicans shot, or imprisoned, for having an opposing view, how could Barry possibly be MORE partisan than he’s been?
Never ever underestimate an experienced Alinski-ite with a Messiah complex and racial identity complex while being President of the United States with a rabid congress and devoted fanbase among the media. The last person who underestimated him …. Hillary Clinton.
Hillary is he proverbial vulture…. just waiting for Obama to become a carcass…. Do you think for a second she’d allow Biden to assume the throne?
I knew this would happen if you kept bullying Obama with your ridicule, Frank J. There is only so much a man can take, even a man with the pectorals of a GOD!
I warned you this would happen or I WOULD HAVE if I wasn’t so lazy.
I just finished reading “Girding for Dummies” and I’m even more confused about girding than I was before. I must be way too dumb to understand a “for Dummies” book. Great, now I have even less self-esteem than I did before. I think I’ll stick to jockstrapping just to be safe.
Now picture Obama with a jockstrap over his face. Or better yet, Michelle Obama with a jockstrap over her face.
I’ll be here, loining my girds.