(Note: I promised I’d write a post from the suggestions made yesterday. This is actually inspired by that. Don’t ask how. You’d gain an insight to how my brain works … and you really don’t want to know. Really. I still plan to write something, but Wife just got out of the shower, wearing only a towel … around her head. Later, losers! – Basil)
Growing up in Georgia, I discovered that some words can be pronounced in different ways, depending on where you are.
For instance, “Jordan.” You may say JOR-dan. Some people, in west Georgia and east Alabama pronounce it “JURD-n.” Like that stadium where Auburn University plays football, Jordan-Hare. Or, Jimmy Carter’s Chief of Staff, Hamilton Jordan. Those are pronounced “JURD-n.”
Houston County, in central Georgia? It’s not “HYOOS-ton,” as you might think. It’s “HOWS-ton.” Really.
Buena Vista, in west Georgia? “BYOO-na VISS-ta.” Seriously.
Walthourville, in southeast Georgia? “WALT-OWER-VILLE,” like it’s three words: Walt, hour, ville.
The lesson I learned, as I mentioned, is that words aren’t always pronounced like you might think. Or like you’ve heard others pronounce.
In the public interest, I present a list of words that you may have been mispronouncing your whole life, along with the correct pronunciation.
- Democrat (COMM-yoo-nist)
- Republican (OWN-pro-BAY-shun)
- Pelosi (ASS)
- Reid (DUM-ass)
- Obama (FAYL-yur)
- Stimulus (BAD-i-DEE-uh)
- Palin (AWW-sum, alternate pronunciation HOT)
- NBC (DOOSH-bagz)
- CBS (DOOSH-bagz)
- CNN (DOOSH-bagz)
- ABC (NYN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
- Fox News (TWIN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
- Liberal (KRAP-for-BRAYNZ)
- Twitter (GAE)
- Facebook (GAE)
- Windows (per-PEH-chu-wul-BAY-tuh)
Perhaps you’ve run across other words that aren’t pronounced as one would expect?
MSNBC (Hun-nert-per-cent Doosh-bagz). Pro-Gressive (No-Braynz-just Krap, no Heart-or-Soul just Void).
George Soros (NOT-zee)
Hillary Clinton (HIP-pee-COM-mee-pig) or alternate pronunciation (KAN-klz)
Al Gore (in-SAY-n)
Hollywood (GAE)
movie stars (GAE-z)
Hollywood movies (GAE-krap)
Jane Fonda (TRAY-tore)
Keith Olberman (BAG-dad-bob)
Journey (ROK-z)
I felt relieved on election night 2008,
when I heard Barack Obama was elected President
of Am-EH-ur-cuh, instead of Am-e-ri-ca, where I live.
Dan Rather (Damn-Madonna)
Joe Biden (art-tickle-ate-nublax)
Albert “Al” Gore (Che-kun Li’l)
Katie Couric (Lookit-Me)
Cat Stevens (All-a-HU snack bar)
Janeane Garofalo (… …… ….. ….) *her name – like her spoutings – are incomprehensible, so…whatever
Jesse Jackson (Yurall RAY-cysts)
Al Sharpton (**insert flatulent sounds here**)
Compromise (SUR-en-dur)
Obama (Prik)
Murderer (ted KEN-i-dee)
Thief (In NY: CHAR-li RAN-ghel; in California: MAK-seen WA-turs)
Liar (AL GOR)
Fraud (BA-rok)
Wimp (MITSH-mac-CON-el)
Loser (AR-lin-SPEK-ter)
Panderer (BEN-NEL-sin)
I believe that the street in New York spelled “Houston” is also pronounced “HOW-ston”. Never been to New York, and never will be, because it’s a city.
Hotness? In MY Sarah Palin? It’s more likely than you think.
I couldn’t agree with you more Iowa Jim and I’m guessing most people in Iowa feel the same way as you. I say that because of a little thing a very good friend of mine who is from Iowa, sent me about Iowa. Enjoy……………..
1) Don’t order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Jonesy’s. It’s a
diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you upset the ladies in the kitchen they’ll kick your ass.
2) Don’t laugh at the names of our little towns (Greeley, Strawberry
Point, Cresco, etc.) or we will have to kick your ass.
3) Don’t order a bottle or a can of soda here. Here it’s called
“pop”. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass-kicking.
4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you. We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don’t refer to us as a bunch of hicks or we’ll kick your ass.
5) We have plenty of business sense. You have to make a living
here. Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment from time to time, but we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick her ass.
6) Don’t laugh at our giant fiberglass strawberries and our Five
Seasons trees made out of metal. Anything that inspires tourists to buy 50,000 postcards can’t be bad. And in Cedar Rapids don’t point at the genitalia on Frank and laugh or we’ll kick your ass.
7) We are fully aware of how cold it gets here in the winter, so
shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here or we’ll kick your ass.
8) Don’t order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone
will instantly know that you’re a tourist. Eat your steak well-done like God intended and have some potatoes with that, for heaven’s sake! Also, don’t ask what a hot dish is or we’ll kick your ass.
9) Don’t try to fake an Iowa accent. We don’t have an accent. Do NOT mention the movie “Field of Dreams” because that will incite a riot and you will get your ass kicked.
10) Don’t talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited big-city hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and Minneapolis and we have the scars to prove it. If you don’t like it here, Interstate 80 is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.
11) Don’t complain that Iowa is flat and that all you can see is corn and hogs. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty we’ll kick your ass all the way back to Milwaukee.
12) Don’t ridicule our mannerisms. We only speak when spoken to. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet, little grey-haired grandmothers or they will kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.
13) So you think we’re quaint or losers because most of us live in a
corn field? That’s because we have enough sense to not live in
filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or LA. Make fun of our fresh air and we’ll kick your ass.
14) Writing it “Ioway City, Home of the Hogeyes” is NOT a joke.
Your ass will be kicked.
15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come out here and tell us
how Iowa should “go back to the Indians.” This will get your ass shot right after it gets kicked. Just mention this once and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your ass.
Enjoy your visit and then go home.
bwaney fwank (poke-e-man)
Schwatzenegger (BRAIN-dead)
Reid (LOU-ser)
Pelousy (OW-my-EYES)
Olbermann (BWARNEY-fwank)
bill maher (HUGEO-DOOSHO-bag)
bill Clinton (CHUBBY-CHAY-ser)
On the topic of southern accents, Hollywood Filmakers (ah-SOLES-en-PED-oh-files) seem to believe that southern accents come only in two varieties: Georgia Bell and Redneck. Either way, a southern accent in a movie is always used to denote dimness of mind, but then again, Hollywood (SAW-dem-en-gah-MORE-a) would never stereotype.
Non-idiots are aware that southern accents come in an extremely rich variety. I live in New York, but whenever I hear a southern accent, I try to place it geographically. It’s a fun challenge, for me, at least.
Another on the topic of southern accents…When I was in the fourth grade my family moved from New England to West By God Virginia. First day of school there’s a spelling bee and the teacher asks me to spell SPAY-shul. I say S-P-A-T-I-A-L. She says no you’re wrong next kid says S-P-E-C-I-A-L. Teacher says correct. Being the smartass even at that young age I say that word is spe-SHUL. She says right SPAY-shul. It was all downhill from there.
For real Americans (GR-EIGHT-PEEP-LES) who are stuck in places like new york (GAR-beige-DUMP) california (COMMIE-porn-IS-TAN), or mastachewsits (TAX-alota-libs), come to America, the water is fine, the air is clean, and the hippies (dem-oak-RATS) are punched.
Ack if you type pron correctly you get moderated (MSM-i-tized)
I have a hard time believing this thread could have been inspired by the Train Wreck submissions thread, you didn’t make one, I sai WON mention of cornbread! That’s KURN-brr-ED!
Thankfully (TANK-full-EH) I had no expectations (X-peck-TASTE-ions) so it’s OK (Ohhh-KAYEH).
Reminds me of a joke, though I can’t remember the comedian who told it. He talks about going to visit his girlfriend and brings something like a bag of chips or fries or something like that. Her roommate is there and says< "Why did you bring that? You know I'm an actress and can't have carbohydrotes." To which he replies, "I think you're mispronouncing that, it's pronounced 'waitress.'"
Basil, your OP brought back memories of being stationed in Augusta- near a town called Martinez.
(Spanish speakers, cover your ears, this’ll make your brain hurt.)
Many of the locals called it MAR-ta-nezz.
[Yep. Know the place. And the story goes that’s how Mr. Martinez, who founded the town, pronounced his name.
Sorta related… up in northwest Georgia, there’s Lafayette (luh-FAY-it). I think they pronounced it that way because, after the Revolutionary War, Marquis de La Fayette, who directed the troops that blocked Cornwallis’ escape at Yorktown, returned to the U.S., and visited 12 states … but not Georgia. – B.]
Interstate Commerce (WHAT ever)
Loot (EAR mark)
Constitution (all the letters seem to be silent)
Global Warming – Glow-Bull Scaming
Social Justice – So Called, Just-Iz
Redistribution – Steel-Ing
The Messiah – The Mess-ayayay!
One And Done – Teh Won Iz Gone
Democrat – Scheme Of Rats
Illinois has Cairo (kayro), Athens (ay thens), Prairie du Rocher (prayree duh rosher), Marseilles (Mar sales), Le Roy (Leeroy), San Jose (San Joes) and Corrupt Disgusting Third World Sewer On The Lake (Shi cah go). Indiana has Valparaiso (Val par ay zo) and The Crime Infested Craphole In The Northwest (Ga ree).
I had a smart-alec teacher one time tole me pie r square! I tole him NO, pie r ROUND, Cownbread r square!
zzyzx – Don’t tell them that those farms that all you hicks are living on cost around $8,000 per acre, a Combine to harvest the crops is a cool $750,000 and tractors aren’t far behind. Send them back to their “big city” shmatzy pant little lofts in the inner city that are cute and so forth! Kick their asses before you do, of course!
And Iowans don’t have an accent! If you don’t speak like an Iowan, you need your ass kicked! Iowans are an educated people that have learned the English language by attending and graduating from Elementary, Junior High and High School! If you speak with a slight southern drawl we are ok with that, but if there is a hint of New York or West Coast (Valley Girl) there is an ass kicking about to happen!
I live in Minneapolis now, but will retire in God’s country (Iowa)!
In California one finds:
Benecia (buh-NISH-a)
Vallejo (vuh-LAY-o), also “GANG-toun”
Napa (ther-kum-ing-to-taek-me-a-way-ha-ha)
Marin County (nu-aej-HIP-pi-col-o-nee)
San Francisco (THAN fran-THITH-co), also “SAW-dum”
Berkeley (MOSS-cow)
Oakland (nai-JEER-ria)
San Jose (TO-kio)
Bakersfield (HELL-on-urth)
Redding (HELL-with-nice-see-ner-ee)
California borders Oregon (MEIN-les-LIB-uh-ruls), Nevada (HORZ), Arizona (itz-a-dri-heet), and Mexico (ter-SER-o-MOON-do-in-FIER-no).
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Not in the true spirit of the post, but more Georgia pronunsheeashuns:
Monticello (MONT-i-SELL-oh)
LaFayette (la-FAY-et; note the emphasis)
DeKalb (duh-KAB)
There are probably some more good ones I’m misremembering right now….