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Capping off Human Achievement Week, it’s finally Alpha Proxima Day, when we light up the sky (both day and night) so brightly that Earth outshines the nearby stars, Alpha and Proxima Centauri.
Space aliens observing our local star cluster will be all like “Wow! Did you see that? Either there was a supernova, or somebody really hates hippies!”
Speaking of hippies, I guess they’re doing something today, too – Dirt Hour or Darkness Hour or whatever – at 8:30pm. I’m kinda shocked they didn’t start it at the top of an hour. I mean, their target demographic is THC-saturated white people with dreadlocks. How’s their drug-addled gray-matter going to remember the :30 part?
Soylent Green [CAUTION: Rated R], founder of Alpha Proxima Day, suggests that the very least you should do is follow my advice from last year:
If you live next to someone who actually participates in Earth Hour, cut their power lines so that when they go to turn their lights back on at 9:30, the electricity that they just denigrated will appear to have gotten their rude little message and granted their wish to live forever in the dark like cavemen.
Maybe next time they won’t take electricity for granted.
So… how are you celebrating?
NOTE: the Planet Earth Fire Pit picutured above is actually available for purchase.
UPDATE: Linked by Hookers & Booze.
sdog linked at Catallaxy Files
That Planet Earth fire pit is awesome. Steaks…wrapped in bacon…served with carbonated adult beverages. You rule, Harvey.
Then God said, “Let there be LIGHT”; and there was LIGHT. And God saw the LIGHT, that it was GOOD; and God divided the LIGHT from the darkness. Genesis 1:3-4
There you have it from the Ultimate Authority!
Isn’t Earth day and hour pretty planetist? I mean, who’s to say Earth is better? After downgrading Pluto from planet status, shouldn’t we be more careful about not looking biased?
And then God said, “Let there be refreshments with bubbles, for we are mightily thirsty.”
And everyone drank and God saw that it was good and thirst quenching.
And then a lightbulb came on in God’s brain, and he said, “Let there be pigs so that we all might eat bacon!”
And God saw the beautiful pigs and the people made the bacon and it was unusually good, indeed. Even God was impressed.
But, realizing He wasn’t done, God said, “Let there be beef, because…”
“It’s what’s for dinner.”
I’ll turn on all of my lights, and burn some tires.
All the lights are on until midnight at my home. I conned my sister into hosting a girls night out and having my BIL BBQ steak, chicken, fajitas, and even grill fish. Loud music, lots of lighting, playing pool, and my sister none the wiser 😉
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I own a decommissioned church that I have a store in, and live in. Every light in the place is on. And I’m not even there, at the bar drinking to progress.
Out at a sports bar with family and friends watch the Sabres face the Leafs. later i may burn a stack of tires, or hippies as either will work for me.
*to watch the Sabres…
For the record, Alpha Proxima Day does not currently have a Wikipedia entry while Earth Day does. Who’s on this, for Odin’s sake? How can we take APD seriously if it’s not on Wikipedia? Geez. Oh, and just FYI, the average hippie will produce roughly 1/2 the number of lumen as a burning tire UNLESS said hippie is covered in patchouli oil in which case a hippie will produce a slightly greater lumen. So, in order to be safe, throw a tire around a hippie, douse him/her in patchouli, light him/her up, and celebrate APD. Boo-Yah!
I love that Hippie Hour is happening on the day of the final four when lights and TVs are sure to be on. Just Beautiful. We will see who we love more: Basketball or Earth.
Thanks to Alpha Proxima Day, I found out that the floodlights outside my garage all needed replaced. Thanks, Alpha Proxima Day!
I celebrated Alpha Proxima Day by firing Keith Olberman and replacing him with ManBearPig………..Al Gore, Now I’m ‘the worst person in the wooorld!!’…….. http://finance.yahoo.com/news/current-tv-ousts-talk-show-214628040.html
Got home late, but the lights are on now!
About a month ago, give or take a month or so, our house had a serious lightening strike! Out of nowhere…Like God was speaking directly to me and my dog (the only other person home at the time). It disorganized my Bose sound system (it just had to be re-booted) and immediately fried 2 light bulbs.
The two that were blown, melted and worthless were not even on at the time but they were the Mercury laden, drive 18 miles to dispose of, Chu recommended, Bam Bam demanded, Al Gore “Academy Award” winning, serpentine, high $$$ travesty, faux-lighting fixtures.
I have Motion lights, 60w & 100w reading lamps and lighting a-plenty…300w halogen lamps in the art room, under the counter lights, not to mention in the bathrooms and florescent lighting in the kitchen, closets, garage and attic!
Yet, the only two bulbs blackened and leaking Mercury (and which I intend sending to congress) cost about $10 each!
Thank you God for the lesson! Now we know the reason that they are serpentine!
Alpha Proxima Day for those content to remain in the dark!
Why 8:30 instead of 8:00? Perhaps that’s when Jersey Shore ends.
i’m sorry i missed this particular day, having to work and all. but, to make up i’ll leave the lights on extra late tonight.
I live only a few miles from a large dam with a huge powerhouse operated solely by moving water. I’ll burn all the damned light bulbs I want!