“I also believe that a lot of gun owners would agree that AK-47s belong in the hands of soldiers, not in the hands of criminals; that they belong on the battlefield of war”
So said the Commander-in-Chief of the United States Armed Forces.
Um… AK-47s are a Russian thing. America uses M16s.
So either he was saying he wants James Holmes to join the Russian Army, or Obama’s just an out-of-touch droolsack with no understanding of American military equipment.
For the purposes of today’s post, I’m assuming the latter and listing a few other things Obama thinks the US military uses:
______________
 |
1) Bearskin hats
2) Panzerkampfwagen tanks
3) MiG jet fighters
4) Oliphaunts
5) Quatloos
6) Photon torpedoes
7) Nimbus 2000 racing brooms
8) X-wings
9) BFG 9000s
10) Iocane powder
______________
Sorry, Barack, none of the above.
Also not on the list: white flags.
_______________
UPDATE: Linked by Small Dead Animals
Suicide belts…but, you can understand where he might make that mistake given his upbringing.
“they belong on the battlefield of war”
as opposed to:
on the battlefield of American cities.
That’s the LAST thing a politician wants: an armed citizenry he might have to fight to stay in power.
Harvey, the U.S. military has mostly switched over to the smaller, lighter M4. But I’m sure, in your time, the M16 did the lion’s share of the foreigner killin’.
Don’t forget the phased plasma rifle in the forty watt range.
Energy swords, Geth Plasma shotguns, Mehrune’s Razor
Don’t SEALS have lightsabers?
Alucard – I knew I’d get harassed on that one. Wikipedia listed both, so I just picked the M16, since that’s what most people had when I was in.
But unlike Obama, at least I made the effort to Google it.
No rocket-equipped dinosaurs either, which is a crying shame, but I would never expect our POTUS to be bright enough to be aware of, much less comprehend, such awesomeness.
(eh. something ate my post? lemme try again…)
Lawgivers, Noisy Crickets, AT-AT’s, Bat’leths (but Michelle probably has one) Light Grenades, Atomic Grenades.
(See also: http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2011/05/one-day-in-the-war-room.html)
Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters
I vote for an out-of-touch droolsack with no understanding of American military equipment.
Obama, “What do the CORPSmen use?”
The Wookie, “ROARRRRRRR, he’s holding a thermal detonator!”
Also I’d go for — “At last, after two thousand years of research, the illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator.”
Weapons Joe Biden might think are in the hands of our troops :
Red Ryder BB guns
Nerf guns
Pistols with orange muzzles
Super Soakers
“Secret Sam” kits
others?
Jimmy -July 26th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
There was a time when American Politicians wanted thier citizens to be armed, so much so they framed the concept in your consitution.
What happen to you people? where did the beacon of Liberty go?
I got nothing. I just left a 2nd Amendment speech over in some crazy liberal’s comments (she said that the British were no longer a threat, so…) and got jumped on, so I came over here to hide out. Among the NOT CRAZY MORONS people.
When I lived in Seattle, the cops shot a crazy guy who was wandering down the street, lunging at people with a sword. All the lefties were aghast and wondered WHY the cops took such drastic measures. I actually heard people say that “the cops have blankets in their cars, they should have thrown one over him” and “couldn’t they have disarmed him by throwing a fire extinguisher at him?”
Morons. How about when liberals are being attacked, the cops can use a blanket. When I am being attacked, I’m good with them bringing guns.
Chris – “your constitution” ?
Let me guess: Canada
“What happen[ed] to you people?”
There aren’t many ‘people’ left, Chris. Educated in “public schools,” most have stunted brains the size of goombahs.
KnitterChick lived in Seattle! Don’t do that again. I grew up there and was just there today. They drive like idiot goombahs.
Jimmy
Yes – Canadian. Your consitution is a magnificent human achievment. Ours is garbage. It does not understand liberty or property. Yours does.
I hope and pray you will remeber it, the world is a better place becasue of a strong and free America.
Doesn’t the M4 use the basic action of the M16? Isn’t it just a shorter, handier modification of the M16 and not a completely new and different design? It does use the same ammo as the M16.
Chris – sometimes I think our great Constitution scares our own citizens. Freedom / responsibility / morality are scary to many.
Every man is an island.
Judge and be judged.
Live free or die!
Battleaxes
Wrist Rocket slingshots
Wiffle bats
Bug bunny dressed in viking regalia
Bolo Mark XXIIV
Quoth Chris the Kindly Canuck: the world is a better place becasue of a strong and free America.
Er…it was a better place….America, courtesy of the current diarrhetic excrement pile masquerading as elected officials, now presents an image which is amenic, weak, shifty, criminal-minded, and marching swiftly (Forward?) towards totalitarianism.
There is no longer recourse to an even nominally Constitution-respecting judicial system. Laws are enforced selectively, taxation enforced imperiously.
The America you hearken to is, regrettably, more and more, a thing of memory and not in current practice.
You will remember your birthright. For evil to triumph – all that is required is for good men to do nothing… and Americans are not very good at doing nothing…
“Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!”. — Benjamin Franklin
Sharks with laser beams on their heads. Standard issue.
Thanks Chris, you give me hope.
Grow lots of extra wheat and corn this season if you can up there, we’re gonna be coming to you for food if this drought goes on much longer.
With all the freaking out over the European debt crisis, I wonder how much more stable their situation would be today if America’s economy was as strong as it used to be.
But the Feds have decided to spend like drunken pirates (at least drunken sailors spend their own money) until all the wealth in the world vanishes under a pile of IOUs, and the rest of the world has lost it’s foundation as a result.
Sorry about that.
If the Obamanation that Brings Desolation gets a second term, I’ll be hoping the Mayans were right.
But someone will fill the gap in the world formerly held by the USA eventually, if we’re stupid enough to go that way, and it might as well be Canada.
Maybe you can work a deal with Australia and New Zealand and keep hope alive.
Here’s a tip – just in case – Border Fence.
Save time and start building it now!
On a side note, for all you bitter clingers…I read a few days ago that the Marines will be replacing the current issue 9mm with an updated version of the 1911 .45 cal.
Now if only they’d let NCO’s and officers put an edge on their swords…
All of you have to stop ragging on Harvey for mentioning the M-16 and Obama for mentioning the AK-47. It was just habit ‘cuz that’s what they trained with.
Do they allow Coasties to have guns?
I think they let them have either flintlocks or capguns….at any rate, the image of a Coastie in midair with guns blazing is a funny visual.
28. FormerHostage says:
On a side note, for all you bitter clingers…I read a few days ago that the Marines will be replacing the current issue 9mm with an updated version of the 1911 .45 cal.
Now if only they’d let NCO’s and officers put an edge on their swords.
+++
Actually, that’s for the MEU (SOC) arsenal. The 9mm will stay the standard sidearm. The Marine Corps never got rid of its .45 inventory; use was just focused better toward operational units. You’d be surprised what we had in our armories. The last time the .45 inventory was updated across the fleet was in the late-90s. I’m not sure why you’d need to sharpen ceremonial swords. The Marine philosophy is rooted in its marksmanship program: “One shot. One kill.” As our range coach said, “Kill ’em from afar and you don’t have to kill ’em from a-near.”
25. Banachek says:
July 26th, 2012 at 9:56 pm
Sharks with laser beams on their heads. Standard issue.
+++
That’s a sweet upgrade from the Navy’s dolphins with limpet mines afixed to their heads!
The canuckistan constitution has a few gaping holes in it. Like no property rights. The courts are supposed to uphold the law of the land but that shifts like quicksand.
As Chris says, from this Canadians perspective, the world thrives when America is strong. Liberty is the the key. We all accept limits but the bad fiscal practices in Europe and America are going to make it easy for China to accend.
America, please get your house in order…