Archive of entries posted on 17th January 2013

Link of the Day: The Uncomfortable Truth About the Second Amendment

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[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

I Didn’t Shoot the Sheriff, But He and I Might Shoot the Deputies

Excerpt:

The wonderful if horrifying fact is that the 2nd Amendment wasn’t made for hunting, or for target practice. It exists to acknowledge and enshrine the right of the People and the States to defense… the right to kill bad people when necessary. It writes into (supposedly) immutable law the self-delegated authority to kill one’s attackers, and to defend those you deem need defending.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Hot Player Glued Pen Mug College

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Obama’s New War

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[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]

Members of the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit have confirmed that they will be conducting a deployment to Facebook to stop a flame war.

MEU commander Colonel James Christmas told reporters he had received a warning order from U.S. Cyber Command yesterday evening and that Marines should be prepared to deploy immediately to Facebook’s headquarters in Menlo Park, California.

Colonel Christmas also said that the 22nd MEU will be evacuating thousands of Internet Displaced Persons or IDPs, fleeing Facebook for other social media sites. Both MySpace and Google+ have offered to take the refugees, claiming they have “plenty of space available.”

Read the whole thing.

I Don’t Have a Made Up Girlfriend

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So I assume everyone has heard about the Notre Dame football player and the made up girlfriend. I’m afraid that’s going to increase suspicions about made up girlfriends everywhere. Luckily, I have nothing to worry about. As I’ve told you before, I had a t-shirt babe contest on my blog, and the winner, the hottest one of the contestants, ended up dating me and we totally hit it off and got married. And now we have a little daughter named Buttercup. What about that sounds made up? So I don’t know why anyone would doubt me on the story and keep asking for evidence which I keep telling you I’ll produce any day now.

Anyway, Harvey met her and can back me up on this. And Harvey is totally real too and the only reason you’ve never seen a picture of him is he’s a little camera shy.

I’m not on trial here! No further questions!

Why Don’t We Just Make Guns Less Scary-Looking?

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So Obama has made a bunch of new gun control proposals which, if successful, means the next time someone shoots up a school, we’ll also be able to also get him on illegal possession of a high capacity magazine. Which accomplishes…

Well, let’s stop pretending any of this accomplishing anything. I find the gun-dumb use a lot of terms they think mean something like “assault weapon” or “high-powered weapon” when all it really means to them is “a gun that looks really scary.” Maybe we should just compromise and make much less scary-looking weapons with like goofy googily eyes on them and butterflies painted on the sides and give them names like “The Hugger” and “Happy Fun Bunny”. How much better they’ll all sleep at night knowing that at the next mass shooting people will only be killed with non-scary looking guns.

Random Thoughts: Imaginary Gun Control and Girlfriends

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When ranking importance of people in a country devoted to liberty, politicians should be at the very bottom.

Under the new law, if a guy shoots up a school with an illegal 12 rd magazine, what will happen to him?

“We need these new laws so the next time a school shooting happens, we can rest assured those guns were obtained illegally.”

“I am smirt president and will pass laws to make the loud bang bang things less scary to the children!”

When Cain killed Abel, God responded by banning rifles with telescoping stocks.

I don’t see why elected officials should have a pension beyond one guaranteed bowl of gruel a day.

assault weapon = assault rifle = high powered weapon = “gun I think looks scary”

Man, I hope no one starts looking into my whole “married with kids” story…

Seriously guys, I held a t-shirt babe contest on my blog and started dating the winner. And we got married and had a kid named Buttercup. That doesn’t sound made up, does it?

Man, thought I was just about ready to submit my novel manuscript and then I realized I have to write this stupid thing called a synopsis.

Instead of having to argue to idiots why you should have certain rights, you can just conspicuously cradle a loaded gun.

So what happens if you go to purchase a gun and your background check reveals you had an imaginary girlfriend?

Are ivory towers an actual thing? Seems like you’d have to kill a lot of elephants to make one.

Belief

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Image: The Wearing Of The Grin © 1951 Warner Bros.

Did you hear that Megan Fox believes in leprechauns? She tells Esquire, “We should all believe in leprechauns. I’m a believer.”

She also tells Esquire that believes in Big Foot, aliens, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Bell Witch (whatever the hell that is).

Now, before we all start picking on her, let’s consider what a lot of other Hollywood types believe:

  • Obama is smart
  • Christians hate gays
  • America is evil
  • Guns, not bad people, are the problem
  • People who aren’t them shouldn’t have protection
  • They matter

So, as much as I snicker about Ms. Fox’s belief in fairies and monsters, I think those kinds of silly beliefs won’t bankrupt the economy.