[High Praise! to Moonbattery]

Learn your lesson, voters. Unless you are the walking, talking equivalent of something a dog left in the yard, you are not going to like what Democrats do once in power, so do not vote for them under any circumstances, no matter what pretty lies they tell you. No one can participate in the obscenity into which the Democrat Party has degenerated without being willing to slit Lady Liberty’s throat.

Americans are turning Brit: using cockney slang, dancing on rooftops with kids, and… oh it’s Mary Poppins. Sorry, thought it was the news

— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) January 23, 2013

“What difference does it make” foreign policy dovetails nicely with “in the long run, we’re all dead” economic policy.

— Timothy P Carney (@TPCarney) January 23, 2013

“Who am I? 246015738654267!!!” (Jean Val Jean in a bigger prison)

— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) January 23, 2013

Watching incessant commercials for tax software and preparation services. Everyone’s an anti-government conservative with their own taxes.

— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) January 23, 2013

“What difference does it make?” – comments that make sense when the topic is lipsyncing, not dead ambassadors

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 23, 2013

So Prince Harry talked about killing insurgents in Afghanistan, and he apparently made the Taliban pretty mad. And anything that makes the Taliban mad also, of course, made liberals in the U.S. mad.

The policy of IMAO is to punch all monarchs in the face — as is the American tradition — but Prince Harry sounds all right to us. Thus I will instead punch 50 monarch butterflies in the face in his stead.

I don’t know what to think about this whole women in combat thing. On one hand, I want everyone in this country to have a chance to do whatever it is he or she wants to do. And if little Buttercup came up to me and said, “I want to kill bad foreign people overseas,” I wouldn’t have the heart to tell her, “No. You’re not allowed to do that.” Also, plenty of women are basically in combat now, so some of the distinctions seem rather arbitrary and unfair.

On the other hand, I don’t like us pretending this whole “men and women are different” thing is just something male oppressors made up. There are actually big physical and mental differences between the two genders, and the whole “women are the ones who get pregnant and have children” isn’t just something religious fundamentalists made up to oppress one gender. These differences need to be taken into account, not just ignored. The reason throughout history men have gone out and done the fighting and dying isn’t just a silly little principle that every culture that existed happened to buy into. There’s kind of a reason.

And finally, all this focus on women in combat is ignoring what we really need in combat: giant robots and dinosaurs with rocket launchers mounted on them. That’s the real step into the future of the military, and I don’t want that important idea to get lost in the shuffle.

So Rand Paul grilled Hillary over Benghazi and said she should be fired. That’s stupid. I mean, if we go by the standard that really incompetent people in the Obama administration should be fired, then basically everyone Obama has appointed should be fired followed by Obama himself. And then they should go beg on the streets for change — which they’ll probably also do incompetently, only ever getting Canadian pennies.

That’s unrealistic. Instead, we should expect the fact we have a really incompetent people in charge and look at this as an opportunity: Now seeing the sort of useless people that can get in power, we can design a better government meant to be run by such incompetents. Like we probably in the future don’t want these people in charge of like foreign affairs, the military, or any of our money. Instead, ideally we just need them to sort of sit there and make it look like we have a government while we the people do all the important work.

We obviously can’t keep bad people out of government, so let’s make a government meant to be run by such horrible people. Then in the future Rand Paul can say, “You’re extremely incompetent, Hillary Clinton, so I’m glad you’re in government where you belong.”