Archive of entries posted on 3rd January 2013

Link of the Day: If The Liberal Media Covered Jesus’ Birth

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[High Praise! to The Right Planet]

Normally I’d post the pic, but it’s huge, and IMAO has a svelte center column. Better viewed at TRP in all its glory:

If The Liberal Media Covered Jesus’ Birth…

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Crackhead Flu New York Great Clips

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Video Games: Gameplay and Story Segregation

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I mentioned before how I started Grand Theft Auto IV and just wasn’t enamored with it (though I still plan to go back and play it later). Well, over Christmas vacation I played Saints Row: The Third
and figured out my problem with what’s happened to the Grand Theft Auto series: gameplay and story segregation.

In Grand Theft Auto, you can go on a killing spree, have the entire military after you, and then get blown with a tank and what happens is… you end up in the hospital minus a little cash. But in the Grand Theft Auto IV, they’re trying to have this serious story about an Eastern European immigrant and it just doesn’t work in this universe where you’re immune from all consequences. Like in the beginning of the game, I wouldn’t hijack a car because it seemed out of character, and when I got bored and started punching a random passerby, the main character, Niko, started apologizing and I felt bad.

Saints Row the Third, on the other hand, is another world where death and crime mean no consequences, but they fully embraced how ridiculous that is and have a world where it’s all a big joke to everyone. And it gripped me right away as being much more fun because it didn’t try to make me take any of it seriously.

A serious story just doesn’t work in a world with no consequences. I remember that Grand Theft Auto III was pretty crazy, but they put more actual story in Grand Theft Vice City, and then in Grand Theft Auto San Andreas it got ridiculous. They had some story about crooked cops trying to pin the death of a cop on your character, but you regularly can murder like twenty cops each day an on one cares. Now, San Andreas did get pretty crazy at times — like I remember jet packing out of a secret military base — that it tried to tack a serious story on at all was just silly. And now Grand Theft Auto IV seems much more serious than silly — at least from the few hours I’ve played — and it just doesn’t work. While the Saints Row series may be a ripoff of the Grand Theft Auto universe, they seem to better understand that the goal for such a game is fun and any story needs to be completely over the top to fit the ridiculous world where crime pays and there are no consequences. And thus right now I’m more excited for a Saints Row sequel than the upcoming Grand Theft Auto V which looks like it’s just going to add even more tedious serious story. That’s just not going to work unless there is an actual consequence (like a Game Over screen) for going on a city-wide rampage.

Oh, and Saints Row also made it easier to retry missions (and even had in mission check points). Sorry, but I don’t want to spend all my free time driving to the same place over and over in an imaginary city.

And Here I Thought Kosher Bacon Was an Oxymoron

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After Denise [High Praise!] mentioned that kosher bacon exists (and is not just a Mel Brooks line from The Muppet Movie), I went a-Googling.

There are actually several different kinds, but apparently, the best is made from lamb.

Here’s one Jew’s review:

OK just made 1 batch in the frying pan. It looked a little too lamb-like at first but by the time it was ready it was definitely bacon! Pretty salty, but I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. I have never eaten the real thing but have seen and smelled it many times and this was what I imagined it would taste like

Kosher bacon – your baconest dream come true.

UPDATE: High Praise! to Former Hostage for the Kosher Bacon symbol in the comments:

~(K)

Gun Control Proponents Have Already Lost Interest

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If you were worried about big movement on gun control, good news: Apparently everyone has already forgotten about it.

One of the reasons gun control has trouble getting traction in America (other than that in this country we tend to like liberty) is of how disproportionate the passion is between people for gun control and gun owners. The thing is, most people for gun control only care about it when some tragedy strikes, but they’ll soon lose interest as it’s not like they encounter guns every day and it’s mainly a theoretical issue for most of them. But gun owners buy and own guns, and any gun control law is going to continually effect them long after everyone else has forgotten about it. And many gun owners will vote just on gun issues while few people for gun control proponents will do the same.

So here we are weeks after a tragedy, and all those who were screaming something about how something must be done about guns are now more focused on how something must be done on taxing the rich, but the gun owners are still angry and suspicious of new gun legislation coming.

Gun owners own the gun issue, and as long as we promote gun ownership and respect of guns in the next generation, they always will.

America-Hating Networks Unite!

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Al Jazeera is buying Al Gore’s Current TV.

This is very frustrating, because I don’t know what to do with this information. My brain is saying, “There’s obviously lots of funny stuff here.” — but that’s because it’s just so hilarious by itself. Left-wing, self-righteous, former Democrat presidential candidate makes a TV network and it’s bought by an American-hating network in the Middle East. I can’t improve on that premise. It’s already a joke and perfect as it is.

Still, you ever notice how Al Gore is like the worst example of capitalism that the left usually rails against? I mean, he sells those magic bean carbon credits to make money off of dumb environmentalists and apparently he’s now making millions selling his news network overseas and before all that he invented the internet to fuel his porn addiction. The guy is mega-rich and all through scummy means. He’s like a corporate bad guy in any brain dead Hollywood script.

Anyway, there is still one thing about this deal I’m wondering about: By the transitive property, has Keith Olbermann also been fired by Al Jazeera?

Random Thoughts: Hyphenated

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Andrew Sullivan has apparently finally realized that the Daily Beast is part of the Sarah Palin’s womb conspiracy.

When I think action I think the long-haired kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Are hyphenated names a good idea? Won’t they grow exponentially in size generation to generation?

In a thousand years, we could have someone whose names consists of over a billion names hyphenated together.

if u dont want boehner to be speaker i could be speaker how much does it pay?

If a robot bites you, you become one.

So, in an “assault weapon,” the gun fires a bullet every time you pull the trigger. How else is gun supposed to operate?

Les Mis is okay, but I like the more soulful version, “The Miz”.

I haven’t been able to come up with a joke about Al Jazeera buying Al Gore’s Current TV; you can’t really improve on the premise.

If 12 years ago you told me the Dems prez candidate would make a network that would be sold to Al Jazeera, I’d say, “That makes sense.”

Actually, I wouldn’t know what Al Jazeera was 12 years ago.

We have to be careful making fun of Hilary Clinton’s ailments… but if it’s announced she now has amnesia, all bets are off.

So do we all need to write a thank you letter to George W. Bush for his tax cuts that are keeping us from another recession?

Got a new mouse for my computer. Instructions on it said: “It’s a mouse.”