You Keep Using That Word. It Means Exactly What You Think It Does

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

VEGAN – Noun – Old Indian word meaning “Bad Hunter”

Great New Program Coming to Current TV

[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama will pick his next Defense Secretary based on…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

When Obama Speaks, You Have to Pay Close Attention to Figure Out What He Meant

During an interview on NBC, Obama said he wants to “leave behind an America that is more prosperous”.

Well, American prosperity is behind us now. Good job, Mr. President.

Should Probably Add “Yet” to This

[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First]

While technically true, I will note that liberals DO blame bartenders.

Link of the Day: The Accomplishment Reevaluation Letdown Therapeutic Centre

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

The Accomplishment Reevaluation Letdown Therapeutic Centre

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Fish Hitler VCR Time Machine

They’re Going to Deport Piers Morgan

With the Deport Piers Morgan Petition up over 100,000 signatures, Jay Carney offered the following comment:

“it is worth remembering that the freedom of expression is a bedrock principle in our democracy.”

Note that he didn’t say “Piers Morgan cannot be deported because hasn’t violated the conditions of his visa.”

Lots of wiggle room here.

Wonder if they’ll pull him out from underneath the bus before they fly him home?

UPDATE: Jay Carney posted the official response.

Again, he did NOT include the phrase I used above.

Father of the Year

Bill Clinton has been named Father of the Year. He campaigned for this by asking many many women, “Who’s your daddy?”

They Finally Found That Gun That Goes Around Shooting People

[High Praise! to Ace of Spades HQ]

I Like Drawing Circles

So we’re going from a Treasury Secretary who didn’t know to pay taxes to one who can’t even write his own name.

It’s actually kind of nice that Obama is really going out of his way to demonstrate that for his second term he’s learned absolutely nothing and will be no better than before — maybe even worse. The results would just be much worse to endure if he tricked us into having some optimism.

Straight Line of the Day: The Most Surprising Moment in the New David Bowie Video…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most surprising moment in the new David Bowie video

Frank Talk: Our Gun Rights Are Perfectly Safe

Biden mentioned how “executive action” could be taken on guns. A lot of people freaked out about this (Drudge had up pictures of Hitler and Stalin with the story), but I figured that was just Biden talking big because he’s kind of, you know, a moron.

I mean, really, how well would that go over? Would you think gun owners would be really tolerant of a run around the Constitution to take their rights? And that’s the thing: Politicians are still really afraid of gun owners — and it’s not the violence they’re afraid of. It’s that we demonstrated for a long time we will consistently vote on this issue.

Now, sure, there are dimwits out there musing about confiscation, but that’s like me talking about how I don’t want the federal government to be anything more than a military — there’s just not the political will for it (yet — but vote Frank J. 2016 and we’ll start the revolution!). We won the gun issue — there’s just a decent amount of noisy people who haven’t quite figured that out yet.

So stock up on guns and ammo if you want, but you’ll still have plenty of time in the future to do that, too. What we do need to continue to do is teaching our children to respect firearms and liberty. As long as that’s in the culture, any talk of taking away our rights is just dummies like Biden running their mouths off.

Random Thoughts: Hitler, Stalin, and Jack Lew

If the government really wants to scare gun owners to keep them in line, they should publicly execute David Gregory.

I forget: Do the left like or dislike Stalin?

Drudge isn’t comparing Obama to Hitler and Stalin in a bad way.

People are objecting to the Hilter comparison, but that Stalin one is fine, right?

“You know, you’re a lot like me.”
“I guess that means you don’t have a real argument if we’re already to the you comparisons, Hitler.”

One of the greatest gaming moments has to be in Castle Wolfenstein when you fight Hitler in his robot armor. “Eva, auf wiedersehen.”

Have we found any good reasons to impeach Obama yet? I’m kinda bored and want to impeach him.

I like the trillion dollar coin idea. What I’ve always said this country needs is more harebrained schemes.

If Obama mints a trillion dollar coin and we become a banana republic, does that mean cheaper bananas?

All we’ve ascertained from satellite photos is that the trillion dollar coin is not on the roof of the White House.

The Bill of Rights should have read “Congress shall pass no law…” and just stopped there.

Make this the image on the trillion dollar coin and you might get some Republican support.

BREAKING: Obama to mint a hundred trillion dollar coins and buy everyone sports cars. Because that’s how money works.

According to handwriting analysis, Jack Lew has the mental capacity of a five-year-old – high for an Obama appointee.

Helping Obama

In Chapin, South Carolina, a Chapin High School (go Eagles!) English teacher took down an American flag and stomped on it.

The story doesn’t identify the teacher, and it says it’s not entirely clear why the teacher did it, but the students will have a permanent replacement for the rest of the year.

The suspended teacher hasn’t commented on the situation. However, he should take comfort. He’s now at the top of Obama’s short list to be the new Secretary of Education.