[High Praise! to The Truth About Guns]

The fact is that we live in a country where we have the freedom to pursue our wants and we shouldn’t have to justify those wants to anyone else. If we let the discourse focus on the question of “need” we will have a much higher hill to climb with our fellow citizens than if we frame the question in terms of wants. Everyone can understand the concept of “want” and most people will admit that they likely want or have something that would be difficult to justify to someone who does not share that particular interest.

It’s not that I need a 100-round magazine. It just makes me happy.

Ask Barack about golf sometime. He’ll tell you the same thing.

Except I won’t ask you to pay for my security entourage to follow me to the gun store.

Sex is like riding a bike. You need drugs to do both.

— Brandon Guttermouth (@UNTRESOR) January 15, 2013

WE NEED TO BAN ALL THE THINGS!!! #SavingOneChildsLife

— Ken Gardner (@kesgardner) January 15, 2013

As you get older, scrolling farther and farther down the list of birth dates on a website is a great way to realize your mortality.

— Sean Gabay (@ixSEANxi) January 16, 2013

[High Praise! to The Real Revo]

The Food and Drug Administration has proposed new food safety rules that should significantly reduce the number or foodborne illness outbreaks in the United States.

Produce farmers will have to ensure the water and soil they use are clean, and that measures are taken to prevent animals from entering the fields. Basic hygiene practices – like hand-washing – will be taught to workers.

My mama taught me to wash my hands when I was 3.

The FDA’s been around since 1906, and they’re just now figuring out that hygiene is a good idea.

They say the best form of government is the benevolent dictator. That’s where one guy who is perfect and kind and never makes mistakes has all the power. Of course, it’s unrealistic because any actual person with that much power would make many mistakes and harm many people — even if he tried his best to be fair and just.

I thought of a more realistic idea that might mean better government, though: the lazy dictator. That where you give one person all the power in the country, and then he just plays video games all day and doesn’t do anything with his power so we have to govern ourselves. Of course, the problem there is finding someone who, when having all that power, wouldn’t use it. Maybe someone like me who really likes video games. But not me because I just suggested myself and that’s a big red flag; you never want any dictator who wants the job. But now I just said I don’t want it, so…

Anyway, I still think benevolent dictator is the best idea, but ideally everyone gets to be the dictator of themselves. Because that’s who we can be most trusted to look out for the interests of.

So the NRA released a shooting app, and it’s caused some controversy. Like at IGN, the guy writing the article on it is claiming the NRA is being hypocritical since they denounced violent video games but then released this app. That IGN writer writer should be fired right away for not knowing what violence in video games is. All you do in the app is shoot inanimate targets. It’s actually really boring when I’m used to shooting people in video games.

There has been some question of whether it’s really an NRA sponsored app since there has been no statement from the NRA on it, but I’m pretty sure it is. It has the NRA logo in the game so it would totally be easy to sue if it weren’t official, plus the company who makes it has made many other licensed apps, so I don’t know why a legitimate company would suddenly do a publicity stunt that would get them shut down. Still, some thought this was made to embarrass the NRA, but then wouldn’t they put more objectionable content in it? Like “Self-Defense: The Game” where you shoot muggers and rapists. Or maybe it simulates you getting woken in the middle of the night and having to groggily fumble with your safe to get your gun out and shoot an intruder.

Actually, that would be an awesome game. I will make it.

Anyway, this game is only going to offend morons who really want to be offended. Like look at this idiotic Daily News headline designed to make dumb people really angry: “They’re shooting targets that look like coffins!!!” No they don’t look like coffins, you drooling nitwits. Why don’t you expend some energy yelling at a squirrel until you can think straight again.

Anyway, in more “people are offended” news, the MMORP Star Wars: The Old Republic is going to add gay relationships, but you can only have them on one planet. This makes a lot of sense for the Star Wars universe. You know how they have these one feature planets such as the ice planet, the desert planet, and the swamp planet? Well, now they have the gay planet.

Anyway, it seems like every time a game comes out these days, people ask, “Where are the gay relationships?” Like in Mass Effect, Shepherd was hetero in the first two games, but bowing to pressure he could turn gay for the third game. And in Skyrim, you can marry anyone; no one cares what gender or species you are. It’s kinda stupid, actually. Interestingly, in the video game world, no video game character is ever created gay, but he sometime during the game can choose to be gay.

Anyway, I guess that’s just one of those things for modern games, as I don’t remember this “Where are the gay relationships?” question being asked back in the days of Pac-Man and Contra… actually, I don’t know what was the relationship of those two guys in Contra. And where are they now? Maybe they retired to the Star Wars gay planet.