Straight Line of the Day: A New Report Shows Americans Are 34 Times More Interested In Buying Guns Than Obamacare. Also More Popular Than Obamacare…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A new report shows Americans are 34 times more interested in buying guns than Obamacare. Also more popular than Obamacare…

70 Comments

  1. . . . red-hot women and ice-cold beer
    . . . unicorns
    . . . looking for a parking space
    . . . raking leaves
    . . . washing dishes
    . . . changing the furnace filter
    . . . putting the storm windows on for winter
    . . . getting bit by a rabid wolverine

  2. A new report shows Americans are 34 times more interested in buying guns than Obamacare. Also more popular than Obamacare…

    being shot by all those new guns. At the same time. In the same place.

  3. Also more popular than Obamacare:

    ingrown toenails
    STDs
    walking barefoot through a sticker patch with a bed of fire ants in the middle
    a date with my ex-wife
    January in a naturist resort in Montana
    jock itch
    listening to the Hillary cackle
    any Matt Damon movie
    the removal of God from the Democratic Platform
    a hangover
    listening to renowned chemical engineer Meryl Streep hysterically babbling that we are “poisoning our children” by treating apples with Alar
    listening to a lecture by Algore on global warming while a blizzard rages outside
    watching paint dry
    camping out in 80 acres of ragweed

  4. New Coke.
    Anal leakage.
    Paper cuts on the eyeball.
    After shave on the scrotum.
    Alec Baldwin’s show on MSNBC.
    Any other show on MSNBC.
    The Adolf Hitler Memorial Jewish Outreach Center.
    Kermit Gosnell’s potluck dinner casserole.

  5. … the Jeffry Dahmer cookbook

    … the Michael Jackson guide to child-rearing

    … the Bob Dole, John McCain, and Mitt Romney book titled “How To Win an Election”

    … nude slalom skiing.

    … Linux

    … the guy sleeping in the subway car who hasn’t bathed in two months

    … prison rape

    … “Dancing with the Czars”

    … male cheerleaders

    … American beer in Canada

    … hockey in the United States

    … English “cuisine”

  6. A new report shows Americans are 34 times more interested in buying guns than Obamacare. Also more popular than Obamacare…

    …knowing that no government has any moral right to control the health of human beings against their wishes.

  7. A new report shows Americans are 34 times more interested in buying guns than Obamacare. Also more popular than Obamacare…

    …swampcrotch.
    …lice.
    …are colonoscopies performed orally.
    …is dental work performed rectally.
    …toe jam and crackers.
    …are blue balls, crabs and the seven-year itch. (Hat tip to Gunnery Seargent Hartman).

    …is the minimum 5-day waiting period required before buying Obamacare, because you might just want to rethink your decision.

  8. …Aids
    …Octuplets
    …Out of water in Death Valley
    …Finding the urinal Mint in the swimming Pool
    …Volunteering to Break Horses with your active Hemmorhoids.
    …Volunteering for duty as a Crash Dummy

  9. For those of you (“Hi Mom!”) who may wonder why I haven’t weighed in with 75 responses, let me assure both of you that all is well and I am not out of town or under arrest or anything like that. I just figured since I was able to come up with a couple dozen replies to the Internet Addiction post alone, it wouldn’t be right for me to repeat that performance with this topic, the potential of which would be at least two or three orders of magnitude greater. Thank you for your patient understanding.

  10. @60. Unneeded self-editing on your part.

    If you CAN come up with multiple good responses, as you did on the “Internet Addiction” thread, let us benefit. . . it’ll help Anonymiss out,, too. Take a sabbatical when you have no thoughts. . .

    Maybe I’ll follow my own advice more along those lines too . . .

    .

    Maybe

  11. A new report shows Americans are 34 times more interested in buying guns than Obamacare. Also more popular than Obamacare…

    Finding Anonymiss cookies to feed oneself.
    Finding ammo to feed those guns.

  12. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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