[High Praise! to Mike for creating this]
Archive of entries posted on 5th November 2013
They Totally Faked That Faint at the Obamacare Speech
[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #810,863)
They don’t even respect us enough to try to hide it anymore.
Is That Young Britney or Old Britney?
Shipping companies report great success in using Britney Spears songs to scare off Somali pirates.
I’ve heard it has the same effect that Lee Greenwood has on liberals.
Promoted Comment: Debugging Sebelius
From Iowa Jim [High Praise!]:
A graduate school classmate of mine who was possibly the smartest man I have ever know explained the difference between a bug and a glitch as follows:
“You get rid of bugs by debugging. You get rid of glitches by exorcism.”
Bear that in mind when you hear Kathleen Sebelius or Barack Obama or any other Democrat talking about glitches.
Link of the Day: Satire – NSA Analyst Tries To Sell Secrets To Russians, Fails
[High Praise! to The Duffel Blog]
NSA Analyst Tries To Sell Secrets To Russians, Fails
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Depression Category Pickle
"Hey mon. Really sad today, mon. Ate like loooaaads of ice cream straight from the carton, mon." – a tropical depression
— Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) November 4, 2013
I'll take "That's Not A Category" for $200, Alex. "That's not a category." Yes, that's right. "That's not a category." I chose that, yes.
— stefan (@boring_as_heck) November 4, 2013
FUN FACT: 5% of the world's pickle jars are sold with the lids glued shut, purely to embarrass people at BBQs.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) November 5, 2013
Obvious Answer – Ban Subways
New York City reports that the number of homeless in the subways has increased 13% since last year.
Guess you have to keep going back for refills when your begging cup only holds 16 ounces.
Obama Warned Us – Fresh Government
We cannot meet the challenges of today with old habits and stale thinking. So much of our government was built to deal with different challenges from a different era. Too often, the result is wasteful spending, bloated programs, and inefficient results. It’s time to fundamentally change the way that we do business in Washington. To help build a new foundation for the 21st century, we need to reform our government so that it is more efficient, more transparent, and more creative.
BARACK OBAMA, weekly address, Apr. 25, 2009
“…at killing people and breaking things, which is all government is really good for.”
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “If the NSA Spied on Obama’s Phone, They’d Discover…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Ordered the Government to Prepare for Global Warming By…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama ordered the government to prepare for global warming by…
We all scream…
Glow in the dark ice cream?
Yes, glow in the dark ice cream.
According to CBS, some fellow invented an ice cream that glows in the dark. Charlie Francis runs Lick Me I’m Delicious, which is, apparently, ice cream related, and not what you were thinking it was (you’re so naughty).
It used a jelly fish protein to make it glow. Just like those Glowing Killer Muslim Bunny Rabbits we warned you about in the summer.
So, did he synthesize the protein from jelly fish? If so, does this mean he’s making Jelly Fish Ice Cream?
Or did he use the Glowing Killer Muslim Bunny Rabbits as his secret ingredient? Meaning he’s making Bunny Rabbit Ice Cream?
Or, did the Turkish scientists steal his ice cream and feed it to their bunny rabbits?
This is going to end up in court.
Or on Twitter. Which is worse.
Random Thoughts: Hypocrisy, the Future, and Journalists
Here – You Need More Free Stuff
Nancy Pelosi said that if Democrats took the House in 2014, she would push for free childcare for working parents.
Why bother? The kids will be adults by the time THAT website’s up & running.