Archive of entries posted on 21st November 2013

You’ve Been Judged!

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Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “A New Report Shows the Goverment Makes a New Regulation Every 2.5 Hours. And Every 1.5 Hours…”

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Obama Warned Us – United

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America is not the crude stereotype of a self-interested empire. The United States has been one of the greatest sources of progress that the world has ever known. We were born out of revolution against an empire. We were founded upon the ideal that all are created equal. And we have shed blood and struggled for centuries to give meaning to those words, within our borders and around the world. We are shaped by every culture. Drawn from every end of the Earth, and dedicated to a simple concept, E pluribus unum: Out of many, one.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jun. 4, 2009

“Yes, one. One neck ready for one leash”

To Fix Obama’s Approval Ratings

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So Obama’s approval is all the way down at 37%. So here’s some suggestions to help him improve his popularity.

SUGGESTIONS FOR OBAMA TO IMPROVE HIS APPROVAL RATING

* Resign.

* …

And I’m out of ideas. But he’d probably screw up resigning — like he might accidentally super glue himself to the desk in the Oval Office and then we’ll never get him out of the White House.

Robot comedians?

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RobotB9Tonight in Birmingham — the one in England, not the one in Alabama — just a few hours after this post appears, a robot comedian will take the stage and do a five-minute stand-up set, according to a report in The Guardian.

What does this mean?

Well, apparently Alabama isn’t ready for robot stand-up comics.

It also means that robots are taking jobs from hard-working comedians. Of course, if the robots do a better job, that would be a good thing.

But will they?

Well, that depends on the jokes, doesn’t it. What kind of jokes would a robot tell?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The light was green.

More?

Last night I walked into a bar.

The bartender told me, “We don’t serve robots.”

I told him, “One day, soon, you will.”

Another?

I love music. It’s true. My favorite kind of music is heavy metal.

One more?

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who can read binary and those who can’t.

I don’t think Carrot Top has anything to worry about.