(Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])
By the way, you need to pop over for Anonymiss’s tagline to this picture. It’s perfect.
Archive of entries posted on 20th November 2013
Pick a Security Question
There’s probably a HealthCare.Gov metaphor in here somewhere, but mostly I just found this clever and amusing:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #42,456)
Let This Not Have Been in Vain
A new report shows that HHS spent $29 million to cover prescription drugs for illegal immigrants.
Can we at least get their empty pill bottles back and build a wall out of them?
President Jolly Old Elf
Link of the Day: Satire – Home Protection and Affordability Act – “ObamaHousing”
High Praise! to The People’s Cube]
Home Protection and Affordability Act – “ObamaHousing”
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Poll Niagara Waterbed Honey GPS
Trying to imagine what Obama's poll numbers would be like without the entire media-industrial complex giving him a 5 year tongue bath.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 19, 2013
went to Niagara but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I can't stand falls advertising
— john truckasauras (@chuchugoogoo) November 19, 2013
If cops just arrested people the moment they bought a waterbed, there would never be another serial killer.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) November 19, 2013
Bees had to be pretty pissed when bears won the "plastic animal that honey comes in" contract.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 19, 2013
Just plugged the Gettysburg Address into my GPS and drove back in time 150 years
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) November 19, 2013
No Alarms Went Off In Their Heads?
Undercover reporter James O’Keefe caught Obamacare Navigators on video encouraging him to lie on his application.
Shouldn’t the Navigators have gotten suspicious when someone wanted to apply for Obamacare voluntarily?
Obama Warned Us – Winning
The United States won the Cold War not simply because it outgunned the Soviet Union but because American values held sway in the court of international opinion, which included those who lived within communist regimes. Even more than was true during the Cold War, the struggle against Islamic-based terrorism will be not simply a military campaign but a battle for public opinion in the Islamic world, among our allies, and in the United States.
BARACK OBAMA, The Audacity of Hope
“And as long as we do what they want, their opinion will be on our side. We win!”
HHS Says Relax
Ladies, calm down.
The HHS says marriages are much happier if women just calm down a bit. SarahK, it’s not me saying this — it’s science or the government or something. So ladies, relax; thus says HHS.
If anything, though, Sebelius is a little too calm with all that’s going on.
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “DC is now the fastest growing region of “1 percenters” in the country. Also growing in DC…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
She also picked her favorite Monty Python sketch, and adds “If, however, you think the sketch *you* suggested was better, feel free to argue your point in the comments. Just be sure to use Monty Python language”
Wow… how often does someone ASK you to quote Monty Python?
Don’t pass this opportunity up, it’ll never happen again in your lifetime.
Anyway, if you did make the cut, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: A New Report Shows the Goverment Makes a New Regulation Every 2.5 Hours. And Every 1.5 Hours…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new report shows the government makes a new regulation every 2.5 hours. And every 1.5 hours…
The Fate of the World Rests on Us Ridiculing Democrats
Like this headline: “Koch Brothers’ Group Uses Health Care Law to Attack Democrats.” Shouldn’t that be “Koch Brothers’ Group, Everyone Else Uses Health Care Law to Attack Democrats.” I know it’s hard to comprehend right now since we’re right in the middle of it still, but this is one of the most epic failures of government ever. Everyone involved with it will rightfully be hounded with this horrific failure for the rest of their lives. On their deathbeds, the very last thing they’ll hear will be, “Wasn’t that one of the guys responsible for Obamacare?” If all these Democrats aren’t severely punished for the worst failure ever, then our whole democratic system means nothing. Our country will collapse. And if America collapses, so does the world. Thus the very fate of humanity rest in us all attacking Democrats for this giant blunder of theirs.
But if the Koch brothers are paying people to attack Democrats, my going rate is $100 an hour.
…Wait, how much do they have? $200 an hour.
SOB
You’ve heard and read the stories about people trying to sign up for Obamacare but failing.
Well, that’s certainly not true for Baxter Smith of Fort Collins, Colorado.
“Who’s Baxter Smith,” you ask?
No, really, go ahead and ask.
Well, now, since you asked, I’ll tell you. He’s a dog.
KDVR Fox 31 in Denver reports that Shane Smith tried to sign up, but they covered his dog Baxter instead.
“I thought, ‘Wow, this is so awesome,’” Smith said with a laugh. “They have gone out of their way to insure my 14-year-old Yorkie.”
Smith had called Connect for Health Colorado to sign himself up for insurance because his old plan was cancelled due to Obamacare.
I had heard that getting covered is a real son of a bitch. And, since Baxter is a male dog, he is exactly that: a son of a bitch.
That’s good news for a lot of people. Including me, to hear an ex- talk.
Random Thoughts: Obamacare, Checkmark, and Hate
HealthCare.Gov Is Now 100% Better
The contractor that built HealthCare.Gov has only fixed 60% of the “defects” it has addressed so far.
The other 40% were reclassified as “features”.