[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]
Archive of entries posted on 14th November 2013
Still Less Complicated Than Obamacare
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,535,460)
Unlike Obamacare, Brain’s plan actually sounds like it might work.
Sebelius Brags about ObamassaCare™ on Facebook
All They Do Is Lay There
The latest trend in stress relief: getting a massage by being covered with snakes.
Nice to know Obama staffers have career options after 2016.
Save Us, Technology!
Link of the Day: Ouch… That’s Gonna Leave a Mark
[High Praise! to Springeraz of Nuking Politics]
Short & to the point. Go look.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: ACME Pilot Zoolander Serious Funyuns Sebelius Contact Claim
"You're hired! Welcome to ACME, where we only sell dynamite to animals for some reason!"
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) November 13, 2013
I pitched my pilot about a smart, attractive man married to a sarcastic, overweight woman to FOX and was asked to leave at gunpoint.
— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) November 13, 2013
It's the Derek Zoolander Exchange For People Who Can't Get Health Care And Want To Do Other Things Good Too.
— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) November 13, 2013
You'll know Obama is serious about fixing the website when he hires the porn industry
— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) November 13, 2013
Man is the only animal that makes its own Funyuns.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) November 13, 2013
Wth does Sebelius do all day besides not know things?
— Christine (@cmdeb) November 13, 2013
Avoiding eye contact with co-workers is for rookies. Make eye contact and don't say anything as you pass
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) November 13, 2013
Customs Police: Do you have anything to claim? Me: A hot dog is a sandwich. Cop: "Please step out of the vehicle"
— michael (@michaeljhudson) November 13, 2013
Every Word Matters With Obama
During a recent speech to Organizing for America, President Obama said of Obamacare that he’ll “make sure this law works for every single person in this country.”
I notice he didn’t say that about the website.
Obama Warned Us – Lead
I believe it is not in our character, the American character, to follow. It’s our character to lead. And it is time for us to lead once again.
BARACK OBAMA, speech, Apr. 27, 2009
“Mostly in the area of government spending.”
Thread to Mock Obamacare Number
106,185 have “selected plans.” They haven’t even signed up. It’s an inflated number and it’s still horrible — especially compared to the millions thrown off their insurance for this.
I’m still trying to wrap my brain around how epic a failure this is. Hopefully, Obama will have convinced people for many years to come to not trust the government with large scale plans like this. We talk about the dangers of big government, but Obama went ahead and demonstrated it for all to see which is much more powerful.
Interesting Concept
So, Saturday, November 16th, there’s a planned worldwide event to have people protest outside of Mainstream Media HQ buildings.
The protest’s premise is that the MSM doesn’t actually report what’s going on.
So… Catch-22: if the media reports on it, it gives attention to people promoting the idea that they’re untrustworthy.
If they don’t report on it, the media’s proven themselves untrustworthy, and that’ll be all over the web.
Good luck with that one, MSM.
Details at March Against Mainstream Media.
It’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out.
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “A New Concept Drone Can Fly, Swim, Drive, and Hop. What It Can’t Do…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Everybody Ought to Date a Clown
Watching all those clowns in Washington really got me thinking. I wonder what it would be like to date a clown? Turns out there is a website for that, so I tried it out. And it also turns out that there are some pros and cons to clown dating, such as these:
- When you go on a quintuple date, you only need one car
- You don’t need to pay extra for her to wear the greasepaint and orange wigs anymore
- It’s easy to judge your performance based upon the rapidity of the horn honking. No wait, they can fake that too. Nevermind
- You need to be sure to make love with the lights out because otherwise anything that resembles a balloon will be painfully twisted into a puppy. On a related note, you must be sure to hide all your condoms
- She’s overjoyed when you gift her with a ring pop and a plastic necklace from those 25c plastic egg machines
- When the traffic cop discovers the trussed teenage boys in the trunk, you’re not the primary suspect this time
- It can be a little disconcerting when you discover that her implants are really squeak toys
- And it can be more disconcerting to discover that the carpet matches the drapes right down to the little bowler hat
- They’re a cheap date. Even with a tie, most high end places won’t seat them
- When you want to spice things up by bringing in a midget, there are 3 or 4 she already knows and trusts
- The tears of a clown are actually really awesome. They make you really high. And acquiring them is guilt-free. Clowns don’t really have feelings
- The only rings she really cares about are the three under the big tent
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama May Bypass Congress on National Monuments. The Next Monument…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama may bypass Congress on national monuments. The next monument…
It’s Unpatriotic to Point Out Government Incompetence
I have a new New York Post column today explaining how pointing out government incompetence makes you worst than a terrorist:
We have a system in place that people trust, and it allows us to live in harmony and relative peace. That system is that we vote for whichever candidate has the best negative ads and then assume he’ll have the necessary competence for all the important things we trust the government with, like building roads, making sure we have clean water and blowing people up with drones.
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