Archive of entries posted on 14th November 2013

Wisdom of the Day: ACME Pilot Zoolander Serious Funyuns Sebelius Contact Claim

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Thread to Mock Obamacare Number

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106,185 have “selected plans.” They haven’t even signed up. It’s an inflated number and it’s still horrible — especially compared to the millions thrown off their insurance for this.

I’m still trying to wrap my brain around how epic a failure this is. Hopefully, Obama will have convinced people for many years to come to not trust the government with large scale plans like this. We talk about the dangers of big government, but Obama went ahead and demonstrated it for all to see which is much more powerful.

Interesting Concept

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So, Saturday, November 16th, there’s a planned worldwide event to have people protest outside of Mainstream Media HQ buildings.

The protest’s premise is that the MSM doesn’t actually report what’s going on.

So… Catch-22: if the media reports on it, it gives attention to people promoting the idea that they’re untrustworthy.

If they don’t report on it, the media’s proven themselves untrustworthy, and that’ll be all over the web.

Good luck with that one, MSM.

Details at March Against Mainstream Media.

It’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out.

Everybody Ought to Date a Clown

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Watching all those clowns in Washington really got me thinking.  I wonder what it would be like to date a clown?  Turns out there is a website for that, so I tried it out.  And it also turns out that there are some pros and cons to clown dating, such as these:

  • When you go on a quintuple date, you only need one car
  • You don’t need to pay extra for her to wear the greasepaint and orange wigs anymore
  • It’s easy to judge your performance based upon the rapidity of the horn honking.  No wait, they can fake that too.  Nevermind
  • You need to be sure to make love with the lights out because otherwise anything that resembles a balloon will be painfully twisted into a puppy.  On a related note, you must be sure to hide all your condoms
  • She’s overjoyed when you gift her with a ring pop and a plastic necklace from those 25c plastic egg machines
  • When the traffic cop discovers the trussed teenage boys in the trunk, you’re not the primary suspect this time
  • It can be a little disconcerting when you discover that her implants are really squeak toys
  • And it can be more disconcerting to discover that the carpet matches the drapes right down to the little bowler hat
  • They’re a cheap date.  Even with a tie, most high end places won’t seat them
  • When you want to spice things up by bringing in a midget, there are 3 or 4 she already knows and trusts
  • The tears of a clown are actually really awesome.  They make you really high.  And acquiring them is guilt-free. Clowns don’t really have feelings
  • The only rings she really cares about are the three under the big tent

It’s Unpatriotic to Point Out Government Incompetence

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I have a new New York Post column today explaining how pointing out government incompetence makes you worst than a terrorist:

We have a system in place that people trust, and it allows us to live in harmony and relative peace. That system is that we vote for whichever candidate has the best negative ads and then assume he’ll have the necessary competence for all the important things we trust the government with, like building roads, making sure we have clean water and blowing people up with drones.

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