Watching all those clowns in Washington really got me thinking.  I wonder what it would be like to date a clown?  Turns out there is a website for that, so I tried it out.  And it also turns out that there are some pros and cons to clown dating, such as these:

• When you go on a quintuple date, you only need one car
• You don’t need to pay extra for her to wear the greasepaint and orange wigs anymore
• It’s easy to judge your performance based upon the rapidity of the horn honking.  No wait, they can fake that too.  Nevermind
• You need to be sure to make love with the lights out because otherwise anything that resembles a balloon will be painfully twisted into a puppy.  On a related note, you must be sure to hide all your condoms
• She’s overjoyed when you gift her with a ring pop and a plastic necklace from those 25c plastic egg machines
• When the traffic cop discovers the trussed teenage boys in the trunk, you’re not the primary suspect this time
• It can be a little disconcerting when you discover that her implants are really squeak toys
• And it can be more disconcerting to discover that the carpet matches the drapes right down to the little bowler hat
• They’re a cheap date.  Even with a tie, most high end places won’t seat them
• When you want to spice things up by bringing in a midget, there are 3 or 4 she already knows and trusts
• The tears of a clown are actually really awesome.  They make you really high.  And acquiring them is guilt-free. Clowns don’t really have feelings
• The only rings she really cares about are the three under the big tent