Archive of entries posted on 13th November 2013

Wisdom of the Day: Prank Starbucks Siri Tomato Spam Democrats Fixed Sitcom

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Obama Warned Us – Goal

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So I’m here today to set this goal: We will devote more than 3 percent of our GDP to research and development. We will not just meet, but we will exceed the level achieved at the height of the space race, through policies that invest in basic and applied research, create new incentives for private innovation, promote breakthroughs in energy and medicine, and improve education in math and science. This represents the largest commitment to scientific research and innovation in American history. Just think what this will allow us to accomplish: solar cells as cheap as paint; green buildings that produce all the energy they consume; learning software as effective as a personal tutor; prosthetics so advanced that you could play the piano again…

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Apr. 27, 2009

“A bureaucracy so big it makes the Soviet Empire look like Galt’s Gulch…”

New Slogans for Obamacare Aimed at America’s Youth

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So a while ago, some ad agency made this for Obamacare:

Brosurance

Brosurance. It’s just awful beyond belief, but then they came back with more ads including this one:

Slutsurance

I’m not sure why this one wasn’t titled “Slutsurance.” I mean, I’m at a loss for words. Birth control? If you find one person these ads actually appeal to, sterilize immediately. Also, this is just proof of what we’ve been saying to women for a while: Once Democrats have their way with you, they’re not going to respect you in the morning.

Anyway, the same ad agency is working on some new slogans for Obamacare to help make it appeal to young people. Here’s what they have so far:

NEW SLOGANS FOR OBAMACARE AIMED AT AMERICA’S YOUTH

“You say ‘no,’ but your eyes say ‘yes’… which is why this is mandated.”

“I can tell by your backwards hat you get punched in the face a lot; make sure you’re covered for that.”

“Preexisting condition covered by Obamacare: Being a douchebag.”

“Be as financially responsible as Congress and pay $500 for insurance to avoid paying $12 for birth control.”

“Woo! Party! Booze! Mandated insurance!”

“Get coverage for everything except your daddy issues.”

“Let’s face it: You are the most horrible human beings in existence. Only President Obama will ever considering caring for you.”

“Sign up for Obamacare, you stupid whore.”

If not just your house but your entire city is on wheels, you might be an architect

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CityOnWheelsRemember the Jeff Foxworthy routine, “If your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels… you might be a redneck?”

Well, some architect in Madrid — which is near Spain or Australia or California or something — have come up with the idea of putting an entire city on wheels. Manuel Dominguez calls it a Very Large Structure. Probably because it’s a structure that’s very large. Maybe he calls it “Estructura Muy Grande.” Maybe not. I don’t know. If anybody knows Mr. Dominguez — or Señor Dominguez — give him a call and see.

The structure stretches the length of five football fields and is nearly 600 feet tall, perched on caterpillar-like legs that run along a track. In Dominguez’s vision, the city would follow a schedule throughout the year, traveling to different places based on the needs of the region. Onboard, solar panels, wind turbines, and hydrogen would provide renewable energy for a full city, including hospitals, restaurants, libraries, universities, and sports stadiums.

Sounds like fun, huh? Driving down the road with an entire city. A football stadium with State U. and Cross-State U. battling it out at 65 MPH. Ordering at the drive-thru while the drive-thru is tooling down the Interstate. That’d be a blast.

Only, the whole solar panels and wind turbines seems kinda hippie to me. But, even hippies have to dream.

Now we know what hippies dream about: becoming rednecks.

Random Thoughts: Got Insurance, Sluts, and 3D Printers

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There show be a law against not making a gun with a 3D printer. When you get a 3D printer, first thing you must print is a gun.

I thought the rules were you can be as racist as you want as long as you like higher taxes.

So does Batman ever compensate anyone for all the exterior damage he does to buildings with his grappling hook?

I got a fundraising email from Debbie Wasserman Schultz and it didn’t mention Obamacare. How odd.

A spire shouldn’t count toward a building’s height; then I could be the world’s tallest man with the right hat.

You have to be pretty racist to hear that de Blasio’s wife is a “former lesbian” and then focus on her race.

If any of my tax dollars paid for this, I’m going to walk right up to the president and demand he pay me back right now.

The only way Obamacare can be solvent is if it enrolls lots of slutty idiots.

If you sign up for Obamacare, he won’t respect you in the morning.

This, of course, from a president who didn’t think no meant no in regards to Obamacare.

Reports say planet is doomed from climate change. I’ll get right on that after I finish finding all the collectibles in my Batman game.

How about instead of raising the minimum wage you just start a charity to pay people more than they’re worth?

How about instead of birth control for whoever those #GotInsurance ads appeal to, we do the sensible thing and sterilize.