Archive of entries posted on 15th November 2013

Link of the Day: 20 Years After That: Ozymandias

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High Praise! to Springeraz of Nuking Politics]

News From The Future?

[title reference link]

BONUS LINK: from Gang Aft Agley [High Praise!]

Open Season

Oddly, when I hear that title, I think of this video (NSFW), not the one in the post.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Download Immaculate Game Romney Disruptive Perfect Sand God Rhymes

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Obama Warned Us – Lead

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So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, those who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jun. 4, 2009

“And I’ll make sure it ends with a victory for hatred-sowers and conflict-promoters like me.”

President Lies-With-a-Fist?

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So Elizabeth Warren is planning on giving Hillary a challenge in her bid for President. White guilt compels me to support her.  Now is the time for us palefaces to return executive power in this land to the Native Americans, like Elizabeth “Lies-With-a-Fist” Warren.  Besides, she is so inept, watching her run would be so much fun.  My inside sources are telling me these are some of the concepts/strategies she is planning on using against Hillary in the primaries:

  • What? Benghazi on my watch?  My people brought you Custer’s Last Stand
  • Values matter.  The men of my people only smoked cigars and posed with them for wooden carvings
  • Look at our environmental records.  I am the only true anti-litter candidate (tear streams silently down cheek)
  • I am the only candidate who can move to DC and root for the Redskins with a clean conscience
  • Hillary had been working with Iran for 4 years with no results. I’ve already developed a positive, working relationship with Iran. In exchange for letting them pursue nuclear technology, they have already given me all these blankets and shiny beads
  • I am the only candidate committed to the idea that if you like your Shaman you can keep your Shaman
  • I will commission the new Trail of Tears Monumental highway system which will connect and give easy access to all the Indian Casinos
  • The only part of Hillary that belongs in the Oval Office is her scalp on my wall
  • I’ll just arrange to air drop peace pipes over the Middle East. Problem solved
  • Once Obamacare has dealt with the overpopulation problem, I can lead our people that remain back to living in harmony off the land
  • It takes a village to run a county
  • To maintain continuity, I will select Joe “Dances-Like-a-Special-Ed-Kid-With-a-Sparkler” Biden as my VP
  • A mustang in every garage and peyote in every pot

10 Ways to Still Think Obama Is Doing a Good Job

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Obama came out yesterday to try and fix things, bless his heart. At first there was schadenfreude, but now it’s almost getting painful to watch him flounder around as his signature accomplishment fails in the most epic way possible. Yet, there are still a few people out there that think Obama is doing a good job on health care. How is it possible to think that at this juncture? Here’s the best I can figure:

WAYS TO STILL THINK OBAMA IS DOING A GOOD JOB

* Put a metal bucket on your head and bang it with a wooden spoon so you can neither see nor hear anything.

* Remind yourself that unicorns are everywhere and invisible and will fix things at any moment.

* Declare it opposite day.

* Have no idea what numbers are or their meaning.

* Close your eyes, clap your hands, and keep shouting, “I believe in fairies! And big government!”

* Be a complete sociopath.

* Assume the president has been replaced by his evil, incompetent twin, Oarack Bbama.

* Suffer severe damage to your frontal lobe.

* Be a terrorist rooting for the destruction of America.

* Get a show on MSNBC.

Gaying up football

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YATittleI’m a football fan. Real football. Not that kickball they play over in Europe, Brazil, or some other God-forsaken place.

American football.

Now, don’t get me wrong. That futball stuff they do in other, lesser places, can be fun. It’s great for keeping a bunch of 5-year olds entertained while the dads hit on the single moms. Plus, when one gets kicked during all that running around and kicking, and the kid gets back up and knocks the bejeezus out of the kid that kicked him, you know he’s now ready for real football.

But, some people like both kinds. Or say they do. That’s like me saying I like my iPad and my Etch-A-Sketch. (Full disclosure: I have the Etch-A-Sketch app for my iPad.)

They’re not the same thing. But, they say they like ’em both, and I’m not gonna call them liars. So, now what? Well, they’ve redesigned all the NFL team logos to look like futball logos.

Really.

Here’s the logo for the Falcons (nearest team to me):

FalconsFutball

Here’s the logo for the Jaguars (next-closest team, and closest to my home town):

JagsFutball

That just doesn’t say “football” to me.

Of course, I’m not really a fan of NFL football. I prefer the college game.

Unless they put my Georgia Bulldogs in those silly Power Ranger uniforms again.

BoiseUGAPowerRanger

I’d rather watch soccer.

Random Thoughts: Impeachment, Obamacare, and Schadenfreude

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When the Founding Fathers said impeachment was only for high crimes and misdemeanors, they never imagined we’d have a president this crappy.

I hope Obama ends his speech on Obamacare with, “Now everyone apologize to me.”

The only question from the press to the president at this point should be, “Why are you talking?”

“If you like your plan — and you complain enough — I might let you keep it a little bit longer.”

Will the mental health provisions in Obamacare help treat the extreme schadenfreude Republicans are experiencing right now?

The problem is the people responsible for gerrymandering the Senate are all long dead.