[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]
Archive of entries posted on 7th November 2013
David Hasselhoff Sings the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” Theme
I don’t know if this actually amuses me, or if I just appreciate the hard work and imagination that went into it:
One Star
A leading UK climate scientist says that at the current rate of decline in solar activity, there is a risk that we could face a new Ice Age.
Good. Hope it’s an improvement on “Continental Drift“.
It’s a Solid Plan
Link of the Day: Satire – Barack Obama Explains Obamacare Woes in New Morlock Interview!
[High Praise! to The Morlock Revolt]
Barack Obama Explains Obamacare Woes in New Morlock Interview!
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Wild Blockbuster Skinny Weakness Scriptwriters Barber CK
"Where the 'Wild Things' Are" is a book about the $2 DVD bin at Big Lots. Did you know they made 4 sequels to that movie?
— Tom✌ (@Tom_Vom) November 6, 2013
RIP: Blockbuster. In lieu of flowers please watch a movie tonight with family that is your third or fourth choice.
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) November 6, 2013
My skinny coworker is complaining about how she "just can't gain weight!" I hope there's a cure for her affliction (speaking)
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 6, 2013
my biggest weakness? I'd say a big ole freshly baked honey ham seemingly left out in the open but actually part of a spring snare net trap.
— Dave Dittell (@davedittell) November 6, 2013
Scriptwriters: ensure that ‘You’ll never get away with this!’ is always followed by ‘Oh, but I already have.’ It’s how we know you’re good.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) November 6, 2013
Every college is a barber college if you run around with shears attacking people's heads every night
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) November 6, 2013
Biggest testament to Louis CK's talent is the way we're all giving him a pass on the "two letters for a last name" thing.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 6, 2013
Wait… What Did You Do With the LAST Check I Gave You?
At the Democratic National Committee’s Women’s Leadership Forum, Michelle Obama urged the crowd to “write the biggest check you can possibly write.”
Sorry, that one goes to cover my new health insurance premium.
Obama Warned Us – The Past
Many … are simply skeptical that real change can occur. There is so much fear, so much mistrust that has built up over the years. But if we choose to be bound by the past, we will never move forward.
BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jun. 4, 2009
“So yeah, I’ve lied to you, but you can trust me now. Honest.”
You’ve Been Judged!
Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “During the sequester, Joe Biden still got paid rent by the Secret Service. He also got…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
[NOTE: you need to see the video in this edition. Go watch]
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Denied Saying “If You Like Your Plan, You Can Keep It”. What He Said Was…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama denied saying “if you like your plan, you can keep it.” What he said was…
New job
Troy Trenkle is getting a new job.
“Who’s Troy Trenkle?” you ask.
It’s okay. Go ahead and ask. I’ll wait.
…
Well, now, since you asked, Troy Trenkle is — soon to be was — the Chief Information Officer at the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.
“What’s that?” you ask.
(Don’t worry; I only do the “go ahead and ask” joke once per post.)
He was the head of the group that put up the Healthcare.gov Website. He was the idiot in charge of all the other idiots.
The Obama administration made that announcement yesterday.
What’s he gonna do? “To take a position in the private sector,” according to the report.
I’ll wait while you stop laughing.
…
Still laughing, I see. I’ll wait a little longer.
…
Okay, stop laughing. Save it for later. It’ll be funny for a while.
But, he really did say that.
The guy who failed big time in government wants to bring that level of expertise to … the private sector.
What jobs are there for someone like that?
- New Coke taste tester.
- Edsel salesman.
- Script writer for My Mother The Car: The Movie.
- Drone pilot.
- Barrel man at a goat rodeo.
What do you think? What would be a good private sector job for Mr. Trenkle?
Random Thoughts: Christie, the Moon, and the Shut Up Party
Democrats are much more united than Republicans, but being united behind the total clusterfark of Obamacare isn’t really a strength.
So should we just start getting used to the fact that the GOP nominee in 2016 will be Chris Christie?
I’m forming a 3rd party called the “Shut Up” Party. Our slogan: “Shut up!” Our solution to all major issues: “Shut up!”
If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve… though I will pocket the paycheck.
I think the flaw in Obamacare may be related to letting idiots with no business experience mess with a large sector of the economy.
So it’s Christie versus Hillary in 2016, right?
For people using a common cliche: Previous generations were able to put a man on the moon. We are incapable of that.
Let Us Take That Off Your Hands
A new poll shows that 42% identify with Obama politically, while 42% identify with the Tea Party.
Ironically, that first set only has the luxury to do that because the other 42% actually produce something.