Once I realized I didn't have to fill the entire cup with water from the cooler, my work/life balance adjusted perfectly.
— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) March 27, 2014
Taco Bell is counting on a pretty slim demo for breakfast: Depressed enough to eat Taco Bell for breakfast yet not enough to sleep past 11AM
— Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) March 27, 2014
hard to believe it's been five years since the mandatory skepticism laws were passed
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) March 27, 2014
"This is goodbye"
*Paperclip guy pops up*
You're writing a suicide note. Remember there's still stuff to live for, like Windows 8 tablets
— march sadness (@crylenol) March 27, 2014
Watching 'TRUE DETECTIVE' – yeah right. I'm sure two of the guys in it are actors
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) March 27, 2014
Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles is a great opportunity to teach your children about lowered expectations
— Wonderella (@wonderella) March 27, 2014