Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
The Microsoft blue screen of death has a range of over 20,000 yards.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
high speed porn access.
…is that rail guns are going live, giving further credence to the Schwarzenegger-as-Nostradamus theory. Are sentient robots, Martians, or clones next?
“…will allow it to be confused for a small fishing boat on radars.”
tuna!
…is that enemy fighters will be drawn into visual range, just because they can’t get over the radical new look.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
Mandatory back-up cameras.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
it’s ability to project episodes of “Deadliest Catch”.
…a stealthy shape which will totally confuse attackers since it appears to have already capsized.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
Reclining bridge chairs.
…the futuristic electromagnetic rail gun which is even now being assembled using nail guns.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
low rider capabilities for operating in Latin American waters.
…the distinctive shape will save a small fortune because it will be so much easier for ship’s cook to construct a ship-shaped cake for celebrations.
… endless supply of traditional Navy chow: pineapple upside-down beans and spam soup.
… provides free G4 and wi-fi to nearby Somali gunboats and enemy submarines.
… no lifeboats (what could go wrong?)
“Everybody’s crazy ’bout a sharped dressed Frigate…”
From the article in reference to rail guns; “The Navy sees them as replacing or supplementing old-school guns.” Is this author aware of how provocative it is to use the words ‘school’ and ‘guns’ in the same sentence? Am I the only one who heard that dog-whistle?
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
…if you get a hole in it, it will sink like all the old low-tech ships
…you’ll be able to get 3 weeks of real food instead of the standard 2 weeks while on deployment.
…it runs on green technology. The wind turbines and solar panels have not been installed yet.
…The Zumwalt was originally supposed to be christened in October, but the ceremony was rescheduled because of the federal government shutdown. Even now the ceremony was a BYOB affair and the daughters were forced to buy the Champagne.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
comes with a new Frenemies plan.
…is that it makes thousands of Julien Fries in seconds.
…it’s not LCS (but that’s really CDR Salamander’s hobby-horse.)
…is that the galley is capable of cranking out enough cookies to satisfy the current backlog*.
*Given that Anonymiss is in command…
…is that it is commanded by Captain James Kirk (James A. Kirk), tip of the ball cap to Ace of Spades for pointing that out.
…radical hull design will mean billions saved on razor blades for sailors.
…can be christened with a loaf of bread or some cheese if the cook is making sammiches that day.
…finally, a way to make submariners more confused when returning from shore leave.
…poop deck now has a bidet.
… its ability to be deployed over the Nevada desert to threaten cattle ranchers.
…Stealth Disco Ball!
…the holodeck.
… If you like your old frigate, you can keep your old frigate.
…it doubles as a luxury yacht for the Obamas’ next vacation.
…is that it can transform into a big ol’ honkin’ robot!
@17
Soooo….they just said frigate?
A Starbucks in the messhall.
The most exciting feature of the Navy’s new high-tech destroyer…
the saucer can separate from the nacelles without imploding the Warp drive.
….wellllll it USED to be the crew gameroom where they had a bucket load of bigscreens hooked up to brand new XBox consoles until a bunch of drunk PO’s wandered onto the bridge by mistake and took out Diego Garcia.
…is that the ship looks SO mean, that the enemy runs away at REVERSE FLANK!
…the birthday cake from Under Siege is standard equipment.
… 155 mm guns that go pew pew pew
…no “stun” setting on the phasers
…most likely Destroyer since Kiss’ Detroit Rock City to instill fear and loathing in Muslim leadership.
…will not have to yield right of way at railway crossings until Obama gets that high speed system finished.
…will be the last Navy ship named for a Muppet until the launch of Miss Piggy II.
…is that to save money, the interior volume isn’t totally used, creating many dead spaces.
“I wonder where this goes…”
(splat)
…camouflage paint makes it look like an Iranian aircraft carrier so sonar picks up laughter from enemy subs.
…bottom 9/10s is made of ice and stays out of sight underwater!!!
…propellers turn both ways so it can be loaned to the Australian navy.
…socks issued three at a time.
…Scientist! found way to convert fresh water to sea water so it never runs out of floating.
… is that the Navy still retains enough sailors to man that ship.
Writer @41–oh, snap! We have a winner.
…when they take it out for sea trials, get it up to 88 knots, and engage the Flux Capacitor!
Wookies?