I have an article up at The Federalist: “The Gospel According to Bloomberg.” And I have to say, it’s a very Frank J. piece.
“We’ll just be frank with you,” said the Pharisees. “Maybe in one small coastal area of Israel you were actually the best possible prophet they could get — which is such a sad commentary that you’d think people should flee that place and not look back lest they turn into pillars of salt — but in middle Israel — you know, caravan-over country — everyone hates your guts. They think you’re an annoying, out-of-touch, arrogant little jerk. Do you understand?”
FanTastic
Awesome!
For what profit does a prophet profit if his prophesies be false? Oh how I miss the old (testament) days.
“Miracles? Did they help women or minorities? No? That’s a problem.”
I’ll refrain from making a joke about the Book of J-O-B-S.
Bravo Frank!
Hat tip to John Hayward at Humanevents.com (and Led Zeppelin)
There’s an ex-mayor who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And he’s buying the stairway to Heaven
When he gets there he knows, if the express lane is closed
With a word he can get VIP access
There’s an Amendment on the wall, but he wants to be sure
Cause “well-regulated militia” might have two meanings
There are people who think they can choose what to drink
But all of their freedoms are mis-given
Ooh, it makes him wonder
If Mayors Against Guns was a blunder…
There’s a feeling he gets when he stops at the Hess
And sees cups that hold gallons of soda
In his thoughts he has seen fat and lazy citizens
And the belches of those who drink cola
And it’s whispered that soon, if he gets to call the tune
Then Hizzoner will lead us to reason
And the day will be bright for those who eat right
Everyone else will get taxed out the wazoo
If there’s a noise at your window, don’t be alarmed now
If you’re disarmed they won’t hurt you
Yes there’s a Second Amendment you can go by, but in the long run
Only important people should have firearms
His head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know
The proles are calling him to lead them
Dear people, can you hear how hard he blows, and did you know
His stairway will be an escalator
As we give his agenda a bounce
Our sodas smaller than 32 ounce
There walks a busybody we all know
Who’s got millions, and wants to show
How everyone should do as they are told
And if you listen very hard
He’ll tell you how to lose all that lard
Around your big stupid waist
Forget how good that Pepsi tastes
And he’s buying the stairway to Heaven…