friday the 13th is unlucky for jason voorhees too, y'know. sometimes he'll swing the machete too hard & cut his belt and his pants fall down

— john freiler (@johnfreiler) June 13, 2014

Barack Costanza: "I gave Iraq to Al Qaeda & 'lost' all the IRS emails!" Press: "Brilliant work, Mr. President!" Barack Costanza: "Dammit!"

— jon gabriel (@exjon) June 13, 2014

My nephew just asked me how Anakin Skywalker became bad. I said "It's a long boring story."

— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 14, 2014