Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
…,having pleased his Saudi overlords, sits back and smiles…
…is convinced it’s because of something he said (because he DID nothing!)
…feels an involuntary shudder, as his Global Warming overlords are displeased…
…has a sad 🙁
… had to look up the word “plummeting” when no one was looking.
… blamed vinegar prices.
… found a way to tie it all to racism.
… has declared that people have a “right to oil” and is considering a new policy dubbed ObamaOil that provides an online, totally secure oil marketplace and reduces costs for oil, even though it may appear that the prices increase.
…declared:
“Order in the court!
The judge is eating beans.
His wife is in the bathtub counting submarines.”
And then he ate his waffle.
And then someone said, “Non sequitur. Your facts are uncoordinated.”
And Obama was like, “Don’t worry, I am a mass of conflicting impulses.”
…decries the “valuation gap” between “black gold” and “white gold”
…plays golf
…checks his teleprompter
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
Will raise taxes on gas hoping no one will notice.
Will increase subsidies for renewable energy because…SQUIRRELS!
will blame Bush….NOT!
…being so oily, watches as his net worth plummets.
…isn’t worried a bit because high gasoline prices are what makes him happy.
…issued an Executive Order to keep undocumented oil from crossing our border.
…ordered a drone attack on OILSL.
… says that we can go back to driving around on poorly-inflated tires.
… called in the EPA: the Keystone cops.
… blamed it on Economic Climate Change,
scheduled a Plummet Summit,
appointed an Oil Price Czar,
took credit for improvements,
assigned blame for anything negative, and
called it a day.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
sent his apologies to Vlad Putin.
… lied about it.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
does his best Wiley Coyote impersonation.
…decided to finally put down that shotgun. Hoping to strike oil while shootin’ at some food no longer seems like the way to get rich quick.
…countered by raising the minimum wage for convenience store workers to $500 dollars an hour.
…did “have a sad”, but then he decreed that we just have to start using smaller barrels.
… consulted Jonathan Gruber, who advised: “Yeah, the price of CRUDE is plummeting; so, we just double the cost of refining, and — call it the stupidity of the American public or whatever — it’s a win-win for us.”
…said, “I didn’t know about it until I heard it on the news.”
… simply did not understand how.
He HADN’T stopped prices from dropping through blame.
Somehow or other, they dropped just the same!
And the Prez, with his AGW report, ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“They dropped without mandates! They dropped without rules!
“They dropped without sound bites, packaged for fools!”
And he filled his gas-guzzler, till his guzzler was full.
Then the Prez thought of something other than bull:
“Maybe Prices,” he thought, “don’t come from the Feds.
Maybe people … perhaps… might just use their heads.”
…sits in the dark muttering “And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those fracking kids!”
…can’t understand why his favorable rating is following suit.
…called the Saudis and asked them to lighten-up because they are being crude.
…referred to Middle-Eastern men as “oily” – AND “crude.”
…suddenly lost that feeling he used to get when he fired off Air Force One.
http://youtu.be/r8hjtFq3vE0
@19. FormerHostage has my vote.
…got a whiff of sulfur while pumping his gas and yelled out, “This oil business stinks!” Joe pointed out that he must be smelling himself because he hadn’t flipped the lever yet.
. . . is hoping that his putts are dropping.
. . . would be fiddling if he knew how.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
will figure out a way to screw it up.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama…
… instituted a windfall losses tax.
… can now donate more gasoline to the terrorists in Ferguson.
… is gassing up Air Force 1 for more vacations and useless trips.
said, “See, I toldya I’d solve the problem of the high cost of gasoline.”
Proposed the Affordable Oil Act which requires every American to buy 50 gallons of refined oil products per week, regardless of whether they own a car, or pay the IRS a penalty tax.
Oil Prices Are Plummeting. President Obama reminds us that “we can’t drill our way our of this”
… is selling off his Halliburton stock
…is taking credit for it while simultaneously condemning the lower prices for contributing to global warming.
…is thinking now that oil prices are low, he can raise taxes on gas.
Oil prices are plummeting. President Obama declares war on North Dakota.
…ordered oil prices to be federalized, where the only numbers that can be reduced are Constitutional rights.
…made oil one of the daily menu items of Michelle’s school lunches.
…declared war on non Common Core math teachers.
…unionized oil.
… Said “Huh, I wonder how far we they could plummet before the end of the opening credits…”
… Asked his speechwriters to pull up how plummeting gas prices hurts women and minorities, so he can do speech on it.
Oil Prices Are Plummeting. President Obama’s approval numbers continue to plummet as well.
Oil Prices Are Plummeting. President Obama’s Vice President says, “I like plums.”