[baby wakes up in the middle night]
"Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out."
[puts baby on eBay]
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) December 20, 2014
Yeah, blind people! What the hell? pic.twitter.com/QGRYRz85hA
— Batkaren (@batkaren) December 20, 2014
ya im sure being in the war was hard grandpa but sometimes when I buckle my seatbelt it's all twisty and not flat and I can't fix it
— ballin' ass furlin (@thefurlinator) December 21, 2014
Girl are you RadioShack because I don't know what you're still doing here
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) December 21, 2014
kicked out of church again for describing satan as "basically the Wario of bible times."
— lawblob (@lawblob) December 22, 2014