Huh… I see a little David Hogg shaking his fist at me…
“We used to think liberals were just too dumb to realize that mass shootings don’t stop until a someone else with a gun shows up,” said lead developer Hunter Colton, “but new research shows that it’s a simple, correctable medical condition – a sporadic physical disconnect in their middle ear. Our new device – dubbed the ‘LibEarty’ – bridges that gap and allows both words and their meanings to penetrate into the subjects’ brains. Sorta like that connection that happens when you call your kid’s name for the fifth time and he finally looks at you.”
“It’s a miracle!” said LibEarty recipient and Sanders supporter Sunshine Rainbow Jones. “Used to be that when those flyover-country cowboys would talk guns, all I’d hear is something like ‘second dependent’, “flight to bear farms”, or “klaatu barada nikto”. Made no sense. But now I can actually hear them explain that self-defense is a basic human right. THAT I totally get. It’s like free healthcare and free college.”
Researchers are still working on a device that will allow liberals to differentiate between rights and entitlements.
“That’s a toughie,” said Colton. “Like trying to explain the difference between ‘scarlet’ and ‘crimson’ to a St. Bernard or a man.”
< Bernie Sanders to Model “Medicare for All” on Successful Easter Bunny Egg Program
Can they produce glasses that allow them to look at ultrasounds, or at least develop something to shock them when they try to say ‘fertilized egg’?
I tried one of the hearing aids just for fun and all I heard was a recording of Maxine Waters…..IMPEACH 45..IMPEACH 45. smh
Umm…the Stanford Cardinals wear scarlet, but Alabama is the Crimson Tide.
Entitlements and rights? Got nothin’
Simple, if someone else must pay for it, then it’s not a right.
As a colorblind man, I can see all eight colors. Just not all of them at the same time.
Me? I’m firmly in the camp that says if it ain’t in the Crayola 8, it ain’t a real color.
Hell, I’m a real man. There are three colors Red, Blue and Yellow. Everything else is fou-fou lady Sh*t. [Although I might grant some of the secondary colors, but not without an argument.]
Oh, and white and black are not colors. Period.
Hey man, we got a mention at Instapundit!
NO SUCH MAGICAL APPARATUS EXISTS! New Hearing Aid Allows Liberals to Hear Arguments for Concealed Carry. (If IMAO.us were a paper they would rival the Babylon Bee as America’s paper of record, but this post is a triumph of hope over reality 😉 )
https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/no-such-magical-apparatus-exists-new-hearing-aid-allows-liberals-to-hear-arguments-for-concealed-ca/#respond
Instapundit’s coming?
Quick! Straighten this mess up! Sweep the “Blazing Saddles” references under the carpet! Get the aliens back to Area 51!
And for heaven’s sake, HIDE THE PUPPIES!
(ahem)
Welcome, Instapundit readers!
Hope we do get some people to stop by and enjoy. Got to start dusting off the song parodies and put on some big boy pants.
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(Thanks for the link, Dan Z.!)
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