Thanks for Buying Hellbender

Thanks to everyone who has bought Hellbender so far. Your support means a lot.

And curse you to anyone who hasn’t bought it. You’re trying to starve my family. You are my enemy. I will destroy you like a common moon.

Anyway, I enjoy writing novels, and I like to share that joy with you. Thus it’s important you buy my books to keep me writing. Also, when I’m promoting books, I tend to remember I have a blog and post more, so added benefit. Also, and most importantly, when you buy my books, I get money, which I need to support my four children as they’re always growing out of their old video games.

And if you want high praise, make sure to review Hellbender on Amazon. It makes you a cool dude to support an author like that. Unless you give it a bad review. Then you’re basically a terrorist and I will hunt you down.

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