SAN DIEGO – Although “WAUIIYOH” is often touted by the left as the progressive antidote to the privately-funded “We Build the Wall” effort supported by many conservatives, the program often described as “the private citizen version of a sanctuary city” is still struggling to gain traction. As of this writing, the website “Welcome an Undocumented Immigrant Into Your Own Home” has not had a single Democrat visitor, let alone had any Democrats sign up for the program.

Website founder Marco Salamanca started WAUIIYOH in 2016 with high hopes of showing those “stupid Republicans” how much the average American citizen favored a more open-borders position on immigration. He describes attaining this goal as being “still in progress”.

“I know Americans have big hearts and love to share,” said Salamanca, “so I thought ‘let’s show those bigots on the right what a real people-powered people’s solution looks like.’ In this great country, city after city has welcomed our undocumented brethren into their urban bosoms with no ill-effects whatsoever that we can’t dispute, deny, or ignore the documentation for. So I thought ‘why not make it more personal and have people welcome these strangers – who are really just friends they haven’t met yet, who don’t obey laws that unnecessarily inconvenience them – into their very own homes?’ It seemed like the natural next step.”

“Somehow, though, it’s just not catching on,” Salamanca lamented. “This marks the 1000th day of the site’s operation, yet not a single Democrat has visited the site. So far the only visitors have been me and some guy whose website’s named after a communist, like IMarx or something. It’s a weird place. Don’t go there.”

Asked how he knew the political affiliation of the site’s visitors, he explained with a casual shrug, “you’d be surprised what Google knows and sells about you.”

“Anyway,” continued Salamanca, “I refuse to give up on my dream of having every wayfaring waif from South of the Border get matched up with a citizen’s house that he can call home, and I will continue to shout it from the rooftops until that dream becomes a reality!”

Asked how many undocumenteds he was currently sponsoring himself, Salamanca snorted derisively.

“Are you kidding? I’m not letting them into MY house. I have nice things, and I’d like to keep it that way. Nope, I’m just another visionary trying to make a buck off liberal guilt. I’m like the Al Gore of immigration.”

[IMAO Ace Reporter Oppo contributed to this story]
—–

< High-Profile Corporations Oddly Reluctant to Turn Independence Day Into Month-Long Celebration of American Pride