Archive of entries posted on 11th July 2019

Link of the Day: Very Short Answer – It’s Like a Pair of Earplugs

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[High Praise! to AmmunitionToGo.com]

Silencer Guide with Decibel Level Testing

I knew silencers aren’t “silent” like in the movies where they make guns go “pew” instead of “BANG!”, but there was a lot of stuff I didn’t know, like the difference between a silencer and a suppressor.

Actual testing is at the bottom of the article, if you don’t feel like you need all the background discussion, although I thought that was a the best part.

Also, I found the charts are a little hard to understand at a glance. Just know that all the unsuppressed are on top, and all the unsuppressed are on the bottom of each chart. Personally, I might’ve gone with suppressed immediately followed by unsuppressed for each weapon, but I didn’t do the testing.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Trump Truths: Taxes

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President Trump agreed to turn his tax returns over to the House. ALL of them. All his personal and business returns for his entire life. On the condition that every Congressman read every word of every one. Followed by Trump introducing legislation to abolish the IRS.

Democrat Presidential Candidates Clarify: “‘Medicare for All’ Doesn’t Include Us”

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“All of you are equal. Which of you feel you are more equal than others?”

OTTUMWA, IA (AP) – During a recent gathering of Democratic presidential candidates at the Iowa State Fair, there was widespread agreement from all those running that if any one of them mentioned “Medicare for All,” it needed to be clearly understood that the word “all” did NOT include the candidate using the phrase.

Elizabeth Warren, who hopes to become America’s first slightly Native American President, chose her words very carefully when speaking to reporters.

“Don’t be stupid,” explained Warren. “Government programs are for the little people, to be paid for by the slightly bigger little people. I’m not a little person, I’m a mover and a shaker and a decision maker. I tell you what’s best for you, and after I make you take it, you say ‘thank you’ by voting for me.”

“People actually want government health care? Sheesh! It’s like they’ve never been to a DMV or a post office. Well, I’m not standing in line with the smelly proles. I’ve already got my exemption lined up, and a private physician on speed dial. I’m good forever. What’s he gonna do? Retire on me? Pretty sure the law against that’ll be part of ‘Medicare for All.'”

Equally adamant about correcting the public record was Kamala Harris, who has seen her poll numbers jump significantly since somehow managing to paint the first black president’s vice-president as a bus-hating bigot.

“Do I look like a sap?” asked Harris. “I would never subject myself to a bureaucratic lemming-jump program like ‘Medicare for All.’ I’d rather drive a Ford Pinto into the side of a GM pickup. At least I’d have a CHANCE to survive that. Letting government doctors get their hands on you is a one-way ticket to being a permanent listee on the Chicago Democrat voter rolls. So, thanks, but no thanks. You guys enjoy.”

Although he was the originator of the ‘Medicare for All’ concept, Bernie Sanders got a distinct “not kissing that porcupine” look on his face when asked about signing up for the program himself.

“Me? Use THIS? Pfft! I’m 900 years old! I need real doctors! And that ‘s’ on the end isn’t an accident. My organs are failing even as I speak! If I don’t force young healthy people into a medical program that will kill them through sheer incompetence, how will I get new organs? Also, under ‘Medicare for All,’ organ donation will be mandatory.”

By way of response, President Trump offered only a single tweet.

“Don’t worry. No one in the Democrat clown car will win in 2020. When I’m reelected, I’ll make sure that ‘Medicare for All’ will never be more than a thing you use to scare your children into eating their vegetables. Like Slenderman or Nancy Pelosi’s eyebrows.”

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