I love Weird Al. Sometimes I’ll play his stuff again. Just because.
Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s Friday Night Open Thread.
What’s on your mind?
Archive of entries posted on 5th July 2019
I’m Sure They’ve Thought This Through
Iran’s president Hassan Rouhani warned that Tehran will increase its enrichment of uranium to “any amount that we want.”
Yes, and America will deplete our missile supply in your direction similarly.
And Now You Know What Pixie Dust Is Made Out of
[I Waterproofed Myself With Aerogel!] (Viewer #8,613,583)
I really want to get my hands on some aerogel dust now.
Link of the Day: Possibly the Most Intriguingly Plausible Explanation for the Iran Fracas That I’ve Seen
[High Praise! to Free Range International]
U.S. Navy Suckers Iran into Shooting Down Surplus Drone: Scores Big Intelligence Coup
See also babatim’s comment at the link
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Trump Truths: Kamala
President Trump ridiculed Kamala Harris for her idea that she could implement gun control by “executive action”. Not because it’s unconstitutional, but because America would have to pick her for the Executive first.
I Know Who #5 Is Going to Be
Berkeley History Department Assigns New Races to Founding Fathers to Meet Diversity Goals
“By the time we’re done, the signing of the Declaration will look like a Benetton ad.”
Berkeley’s History Department Chair, Peter Zinoman, said that the new goals, while “challenging”, were also “long overdue”.
“Well, we’ve been in need of a diversity overhaul for a long time in the History Department.” said Zinoman, “Frankly, if we were any whiter, we’d have our own hockey team. And it doesn’t help that all the movers and shakers we study are white, too. It’s not their fault, though. After all, people of color were oppressed and subjugated, so they weren’t really given an opportunity to shape world events. I mean, we’ve tried to compensate by making up things like ‘Black History’, but the ‘accomplishments’ we’re forced to celebrate are just kinda C+ on the grading scale of history. Let’s face it – no matter how much you’d love a big minority score in the historical significance column, Christopher Columbus just wasn’t black.”
A sly grin spread over Zinoman’s face as he continued, eyes a-twinkle, “Or WAS he?”
“We live in a new modern age, and things aren’t always how they appear on the surface. Elizabeth Warren’s a Native American. Rachel Dolezal is an African-American. And these are both girls who would’ve been kicked out of ABBA for being too white. Race is a fluid construct, subject to the desires of the individual. But what about when the individual is dead? Who has the right to declare the deceased’s race? Well, I say it’s to each according to his need. And brother, I need to find someone interesting to be the subject of Berkeley’s history courses. And since the Founding Fathers are there, and too dead to object, I took some liberties with the guardians of liberty.”
American History professor at Berkeley, Ned Brainard, explained some of the changes that have come to his course curriculum under the new edict.
“Well,” said Brainard, “we’re leaving some of the Declaration signers white, like Button Gwinnett and Elbridge Gerry – you know, the ones that no one has heard of or cares about. But some of the guys who actually did important stuff are getting their pigmentation upgraded. Patrick Henry – not only is he black now, but his ‘give me liberty or give me death’ speech has been tweaked into a rap song. Washington… well that’s kind of a black name these days, anyway, so not much of a stretch. Ben Franklin – he had that long hair, so we just photoshopped it into braids and call him Flies-Kite-In-Lightning. So, it’s an Elizabeth Warren situation: might be called Native American, but will never be called President.”
Asked to predict the future of Berkeley’s retroactive affirmative action program, Brainard was “cautiously optimistic.”
“I think the important thing is that the students will be able to feel really good about themselves, now that they can study American history without needing a safe-space break. Their feelings pay my salary. Which is a good thing. If it were their earnings potential, I’d be getting paid in McDonald’s gift cards.”
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Straight Line of the Day: Now on the List of Events the Left Wants You to Stop Celebrating…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Now on the list of events the left wants you to stop celebrating…
The Illustrated Frank J: Like the Difference Between Campaigning and Governing
Ask IMAO Anything: #23
Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:
- Bob in Feenicks
- tankdemon
- walruskkkch
- CLIFFY
- Harvey
Bacon to you one and all!
Now for the questions that were not answered.
Harvey: Is the number 7 really lucky, or is it just centuries of confirmation bias?
Confirmation bias. One should not believe in lucky numbers or any other superstition. Believing in any kind of superstition is bad luck.
veeshir: Hey! My question was not answered, the ‘reply’ was a question not an answer!
Let’s take a look at that one, okay?
veeshir: How much longer can our fine media betters keep pretending the Democratic party is not a danger to Americans?
walruskkkch: How long ya got?
Well, I don’t see how the answer could be improved upon. Time is relative. So, “how long” would be a relative question. If I only have a day left, then the answer of “they’ll always do that” only has meaning to me for a day. If I have 30 years, then the answer only has meaning to me for 30 years. So, the answer, though in the form of a question, is correct. Your question was answered.
veeshir: How much should I ask for in my lawsuit against IMAO for non-answering of questions?
I would demand a full refund.
veeshir: Follow up, can I shoehorn it into a mesothelioma or talc class action suit?
Possibly. For legal advice, see a lawyer. I hear Saul Goodman is taking cases.
slapout: How does Basil keep track of all his movies?
I do hope you aren’t expecting some fun or silly answer, because you ain’t getting that. You’re getting a real answer, in all its ugliness.
The answer depends on which movies you’re asking about. If you mean the links to movies posted at IMAO, often on Sunday nights, I really don’t keep up with those. Although I should.
If you mean music videos, which I often post at most nights at IMAO, I have a spreadsheet listing the artist, song title, date posted, and occasionally the YouTube link. I can sort by any of those values.
If you mean my personal movie collection, I have two spreadsheets. One is a listing of all movies in my library. It includes songs I purchased from iTunes, Amazon, VUDU, Fandango Now, Google Play, or Microsoft. Those are the services that are part of Movies Anywhere (I love that free service). I also have DVDs ripped into iTunes.
I have 1,156 iTunes purchases. That number includes 642 Movies Anywhere selections that are in all the services listed.
I have another 273 that are ripped from DVD. 12 of those are also in Amazon, one I have in Fandango Now, two in VUDU, and seven I have access to in Google Play because they are owned by family members who are sharing them in Google Play.
I have seven that are Amazon only (there are 751 total in my Amazon catalog, but that includes duplicates of movies that are also in iTunes or other services).
There’s one that’s only in Fandango Now, but that was an error on their end. Since 1981’s Arthur is part of Movies Anywhere, I’m supposed to also have that one in Fandango Now. But, they screwed up and game me the 2011 remake instead. I’ve asked them to remove it, but it seems to be too much trouble. I actually do not want that movie, and need to follow up on why they haven’t straightened it out yet.
I also have four movies that are in VUDU only, but they are variations of other movies I have. Director’s cut, or some other “special edition” with extras or something.
Anyway, I use a spreadsheet to keep up with the 1,452 movies in my library. I also have a spreadsheet of some Academy Award winning movies. It includes all the films that won:
- Best Picture
- Best Animated Feature,
- Director
- Actor
- Actress
- Supporting Actor
- Supporting Actress
- Original Screenplay
- Adapted Screenplay
- Best Story
The list also includes
- American Film Institute “100 Years, 100 Movies” (1998)
- American Film Institute “100 Years, 100 Movies, Tenth Anniversary” (2007)
- The AFI “Ten Top Ten” lists.
There are a total of 564 films in that listing, and I have 521 of them. My goal is to have them all. So, this spreadsheet isn’t actually a list of the films I have, but of the films that are in certain categories that are on my target list. I intend to have them, although a few are actually considered lost, so it’s a target that will never be met.
Now, aren’t you glad you asked?
Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.
Effective Leadership
Kamala Harris said that if Congress doesn’t put a gun control bill on her desk in 100 days, “I will take executive action.”
I’m guessing that action will be arming her Secret Service agents with “gun free zone” signs.
Twitter [Hearts] Silencing Conservatives
This time it’s John Lott of the Crime Prevention Research Center (and author of More Guns, Less Crime).
.@Twitter locked @JohnRLottJr’s account for tweeting about the NZ mosque killer. The killer’s manifesto does state he did the attack b/c it would lead to more gun control & he is a socialist, environmentalist, who hates capitalist & free trade.
details
Everything John said is true. So why did Twitter block his account?
Twitter’s not saying.
Anyway, I retweeted it [this link]. Feel free to do similarly. A little public shaming might be the ticket.
Tyranny dies in sunlight.