Some bad guys are more bad luck guys.
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Archive of entries posted on 21st August 2019
Link of the Day: The Constitutional Convention of 1787
Thanks to James Madison’s notes, we are able to virtually attend the Constitutional Convention of 1787. He recorded the debates.
These guys were in a vast land with an ineffective government.
States had been making up their own rules as they went along. So did people. Shay’s Rebellion had just occurred, and that scared all of the state governments.
The rebellious people and states did not agree on what should be done next. Their “Articles of Confederation” weren’t getting any jobs done, and this committee was trying to rectify that.
What could you do, if you were a member of the convention/committee elected to consider reforming the Confederation, facing multiple opponents dead-set on retaining their rights — slavery, at that time, being a right?
The answer is: Negotiate.
It’s fascinating to hear them doing that, in real time.
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Sample:
Tuesday August 21. in Convention
Mr L. Martin [of Maryland], proposed to vary the Sect: 4. art VII so as to allow a prohibition or tax on the importation of slaves.
1. As five slaves are to be counted as 3 free men in the apportionment of Representatives; such a clause would leave an encouragement to this traffic.
2. Slaves weakened one part of the Union which the other parts were bound to protect; the privilege of importing them was therefore unreasonable.
3. It was inconsistent with the principles of the revolution and dishonorable to the American character to have such a feature in the Constitution.
Mr. Rutledge [of South Carolina] did not see how the importation of slaves could be encouraged by this section.
He was not apprehensive of insurrections and would readily exempt the other States from the obligation to protect the Southern states against them.
Religion & humanity had nothing to do with this question. Interest alone is the governing principle with nations.
The true question at present is whether the Southern States shall or shall not be parties to the Union.
If the Northern States consult their interest, they will not oppose the increase of slaves, which will increase the commodities of which they will become the carriers.
Millennial Wearing MAGA Hat “Ironically,” Beaten Up By Antifa Thug Using Violence Sincerely
“At least I *think* it was about the hat. It might have been the neckbeard.”
Walking home from his job as a Starbucks barista, Edward Haskell – a self-described “embodiment of postmodernism as a spent force, revealing what happens when pastiche and irony exhaust themselves as aesthetics” (aka “hipster”) – said he was violently assaulted by someone wearing a face mask and an ANTIFA t-shirt who apparently objected to Haskell wearing a red “Make America Great Again” hat, which is typically associated with ardent supporters of President Trump, and also-typically with people wearing ANTIFA t-shirts beating people up.
“I don’t understand why I was attacked,” said Haskell. “I’m not some sort of ardent Trump supporter. I don’t even like Trump. And I only like the MAGA hat ironically – the same way I like skinny jeans, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and bathing. And what do these guys have against “Fa” anyway? Did something happen to them during a screening of “The Sound of Music“? I’d say “Day of the Dolphin” but they didn’t seem eclectic enough to know about that one. I mean, *I* am, of course, but I only like it ironically.”
“Anyway,” Haskell said, “he just kept beating me with this flagpole, saying I was a Nazi and a fascist and a racist. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I am NOT a racist. In fact, some of my best friends are… well, different shades of white, I guess – this IS Portland. We’ve got the diversity of the Toronto Maple Leafs.”
At a press conference, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler vowed to bring “those responsible for the violence” to justice.
“Our fair city will no longer tolerate random beatings of innocent pedestrians. Why, just last week, a local member of ANTIFA was walking down the street and had his flagpole broken by a MAGA-hatted Trumpzi. We will make our streets safe again no matter how many right-wingers we have to throw in jail!”
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Straight Line of the Day: If You Get Bored, Your Amazon Echo Device Will Entertain You by…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If you get bored, your Amazon Echo device will entertain you by…
Random Thoughts: Snopes and Antifa
It used to be when someone said “white supremacy” I’d think “Oh, like the KKK” but now I think “Oh, like breakfast cereal.”
“They won’t listen to scientists or Al Gore, maybe they’ll listen to… some random kid!”
They’re pea-brains and virulent anti-Semites, but I’m not sure what harm they would have done by visiting.
So is it just way too late to tell Randy Newman he doesn’t have a very good singing voice?
If Ilhan Omar is boycotting Israel but then had to spend a week in Israel, wouldn’t she starve to death?
Just when I thought Trump couldn’t possibly be any dumber, he goes and does something like plots to buy Greenland and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF!
Can we stop pretending either party cares about bigotry?
Or, to put it another way, if caring about bigotry were a golf ball, winning elections would be the sun.
Argument I will not listen to:
“This politician you say is horrible is good actually.”
You make that argument, you’re everything wrong with society.
What I will listen to:
“This politician you say is extra horrible is really just regular politician horrible.”
Man, I honestly thought we were done with the whole Snopes saga and then they commission a friggin’ survey asking if people believe our articles.
Snopes has turned my daughter against me.
“Maybe you shouldn’t make fun of people.”
“I don’t make fun of people. I make fun of politicians.”
My 3yo: “Can you put on the kid’s version of Ain’t Nobody Tell Me Nothing?”
Why are there so many nazis in Portland?
Antifa gets rid of nazis by making them feel redundant.
Ridiculing antifa makes you pro-nazi in the same way ridiculing a bunch of LARPers running around a park makes you pro-orc.
Winchester is almost seven months old, but the other kids still act like they’ve never seen a baby before every time we get him up from a nap.
They call themselves “Proud Boys”? That’s the name they came up with?
It’s hard to believe the people who think Trump is this genius who can never do wrong and the people who think antifa are brave freedom fighters are two different groups as the detachment from reality seems so similar.
I don’t know why companies hire big name stand up comedians for their ads and then apparently write a bunch of unfunny lines for them to say.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
“But what if we called it an ‘anti-rose’?”
“Oh. Then it would be something else entirely.”
How to Beat Donald Trump:
Try not to be worse than him.
My daughter asked why dollars are valuable. That’s a hard one to explain. I tried the “shared fiction” explanation, but eventually told her “Just try not to think about it too hard or the whole system will collapse.”
If they want to fight fascism, shouldn’t they be backing up the people in Hong Kong?
Why are we still talking about slavery? We ended slavery in the 80s with the “Don’t do slavery” slogan.
The Joe Rogan thing is kind of odd from the outside.
“Oh yeah. He’s like a comedian, I think. I know I’ve heard of him. So he has a podcast? That must be pretty niche.”
I try not to comment on people’s appearances, but I just can’t help it this time: What happened to Al Sharpton? It’s like his body just shrunk. He looks like a bobble head.
There are lots of reasons to criticize Israel that have nothing to do with anti-semitism… but 95% of the criticism they receive is because of anti-semitism.
Doing movie break between show binging, so watching the Rambo movies with my wife. I warned her the first one is way different than you’d think, but it’s all dumb action schlock after that. Never seen the 4th one.
I know this one is the “best” one and I should be enjoying it more, but I really just want to see Rambo kill a bunch of commies like he does in 2 and 3.
I liked the way this review explained the robot Feeb from Hellbender. He’s a robot bound by Asimov’s three laws, but does everything he can to go against the spirit of those laws.
I think it would take a lot to convince the right that any time the left are talking about race they’re not just using it as a partisan cudgel.
Man, I was just telling my wife, “I sure could use another Spider-Man reboot.” So what a great day.
“Also, I’m really curious about what happened to Trinity and Neo after the end of the 3rd Matrix movie.”
“After they died and all the fun was sucked out of that franchise?”
“Yeah.”
“Mr. Anderson, welcome back. We missed you.”
“Really?”
“No. Are you sure you don’t want to spend your time doing another John Wick instead?”
How a real president would have handled it:
“I would like to buy Greenland.”
“We don’t want to sell it.”
“I never asked if you wanted to sell it.”
Suffice to say, if the Trump presidency ends with Greenland still in Denmark’s hands, then it was a failed presidency.
If you hear “Chick-fil-A” and your first thought is “They hate gay people!” you live in a bubble.
“So, Goldfinger, do you expect me to talk?”
“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
Cat’s Going Away, Mice Ramping Up Into “Frisky” Mode
I’m going on vacation.
Which means light posting from me starting today, with regular posting from me resuming August 29th.
I’ve already scheduled Straight Lines and Newsish Fakeries, but everything else will be courtesy of the rest of team IMAO.
I have no idea exactly what they have planned. I’m guessing they may not either.
Depending on how they do, please reward them generously or punish them severely. I leave the decision of which and to what degree in your ever-faithful hands.