WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – In an unprecedented fit of fiscal responsibility for an elected Representative on the left side of the aisle, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shocked Congress by introducing a budget bill that slashes expenditures to the barest of bones and spends no more than the amount of actual revenues collected in last year’s budget. Current speculation is that Ocasio-Cortez is suffering side effects from having been bitten by a radioactive accountant during Congress’s annual summer recess.

Physician and superhero expert Claire Temple offered several possible explanations as to AOC’s sudden reversal of economic sensibilities.

“First,” said Temple, “some people scoff and say that radioactive accountants aren’t a real thing, but you have to remember that DC has seen a lot of changes in the last 40 years. It was the 70’s, Carter was President, and he was gung ho about alternative energy – which included nuclear because Three Mile Island hadn’t happened yet. He was also big on budget cuts. And for efficiency’s sake, he combined the two programs. And since the Federal Government never fires anybody, we’ve still got a handful of nukecountants rattling around the city. As obnoxious as AOC is, I’m surprised she didn’t get bitten months ago.”

“It’s obviously given her superpowers,” Temple said “but it’s hard to know exactly how they work. Some speculate that it’s a Peter Parker/Spiderman situation. Peter was a shy, selfish, callow youth who only cared about himself and his own needs and problems. After the spider bite – and the unfortunate incident with his Uncle Ben – Peter learned to care about the wider world and use his powers to do the right thing for other people. AOC – widely known as an idiotic spendthrift socialist – after getting bitten, has suddenly developed a far-thinking, long-term perspective on fiscal planning, which, while a welcome change, is completely unlike her.”

“Or,” continued Temple, “it’s possible we could have more of a Hulk situation, where most of the time she’s an idiotic spendthrift socialist, but, when presented with a triggering event, she overreacts in her effort to resolve the situation. Much like mild-mannered Bruce Banner – who would never hurt a fly – suddenly switches to attempting to solve his problems with physical force when angered. Maybe AOC got a huge credit card bill and flew into a rage of fiscal prudence that overflowed into an uncharacteristically sensible budget proposal.”

“Or,” Temple concluded, “to hear the left tell it, it’s more like she’s Anakin Skywalker whose midichlorians went out of control and she’s been seduced by the Dark Side and is now just a fiscal minion of the Evil Emperor Trumpatine who’s trying to build a space wall to keep space immigrants off of Coruscant. Hard to say who’s right on this one.”

Although a definitive answer may never be discovered, AOC posted a brief tweet just before press time that seems to imply that both sides are in error:

“Working on, like, the budget. Nancy says I added wrong and forgot to carry the trillion. Math is hard and stupid. Like Nancy’s face!”

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