Straight Line of the Day: In the New Star Trek Reboot, Captain Kirk Will Be Played by… Posted by Harvey on 28 August 2019, 12:00 pm Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments. In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… well I won’t say that it’s an Alien Green Chick but… It will be an Alien Green Chick. Reply to this comment
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… William Shatner. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Reply to this comment
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… some chick so they can kill this franchise like all the rest. Reply to this comment
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… a large wooden badger. Reply to this comment
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… someone named Chris. Reply to this comment
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by… …the smartest Tribble. Reply to this comment
A thirty year old clone of Bill Shatner, OH and a 24 year old clone of Kristie Allie to play Yeomen hubba,hubba Reply to this comment
…Boris Johnson.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
Colin Kaepernick
Sorry – this one just doesn’t play…
Yea, He’d be better in Apollo 11 as Kneel Armstrong.
He’s already got the space helmet hair.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
well I won’t say that it’s an Alien Green Chick but… It will be an Alien Green Chick.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
William Shatner.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
…Kirstie Alley.
That’s no moon!
Now that’s not fair. In her younger days Kirstie was quite fetching.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
some chick so they can kill this franchise like all the rest.
Melissa McCarthy, so we can make sure it stays dead.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
a large wooden badger.
The… acting would… be a…. little stiff.
…Anne McClain.
…Chuck Barris
According to the CIA he’s still alive.
… a porter. Trans porter.
…someone who…delivers his lines…in…a very measured…fashion…
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
a Klingon.
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
someone named Chris.
…GladOS.
..Kirk Douglas
a sweet transsexual transvestite from Transylvania
You’re a hotdog
…Jussie Smollett.
…Winchester Fleming!
…Nathan Fillion…
“SERENITY NOW!”
Denny Crane
Dean Winters
I’d actually like to see what he’d do with it.
…Peter Dinklage
James Corden… To boldly Karaoke where no one has sung before.
a herring.
The Muppets Swedish chef.
… a female astronaut, in yet another space instance of identity fraud.
Pretty sure they already did that in “Turnabout Intruder”
Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.
Note that it ended the series!
Big McLargehuge
Billy Mumy
Will then, will Capt. Kirk have the power to wish people into the cornfield?
“Men, set your phasers on ‘cornfield’.” That should get the aliens’ attention!
Chuck Norris
Gonna be a short voyage.
Kirky McKirkface
Buzz Lightyear
CGI princess Leia
Donald Trump !!! To boldly go and Make the Federation Great Again !
How about Wanda Leia?
Wouldn’t it be Melanleia?
Bruce Campbell
Please, oh please
Zap Branigan
Cleavon Little.
‘Scuse me while I whip this phaser out!
Damn Kirk, they said you was hung!
“And they were right!”
15 Schnitzenklingons is his limit.
“Are we woke?”
“That depends. Are we black?”
Randolph Scott!
[singing in the fashion of a church choir] Randolph Scott!
Basil not Basil
…something with as much raw acting talent as the original…a ham sandwich.
The “sandwich” in this case is superfluous.
You dare blaspheme Kirk, the Creator?!
In the new Star Trek reboot, Captain Kirk will be played by…
…the smartest Tribble.
Which will have better hair as well.
Now we know where Trump gets his supply.
Melissa McCarthy
…Lloyd Braun
He is something!
…”Kahn!!!” – seriously, Madeline Kahn…
Elizabeth Warren. She’s part Vulcan doncha know.
1/1024th? Remember, Vulcans like precision.
Alex Trebek and Scotty will be played by Sean Connery
Leroy Jenkins
Captain Kangaroo
…and Mr. Green Jeans as Spock
Bunny Rabbit Tribbles
Tim Allen
A thirty year old clone of Bill Shatner, OH and a 24 year old clone of Kristie Allie to play Yeomen hubba,hubba
The Lord Jesus Christ !!!