IMAO World Headquarters
Do you think you could ask the New Year’s revelers to keep it down? What day is it, anyway?
The round-the-clock music is making getting any work done a bit of a challenge.
“Challenge,” sirrah?
Not this again.
And if we are airing complaints, may I lodge one in re the cat? His gaze is decidedly unsettling.
What cat?
. . . and he’s even unsettling my new dog.
What dog?
[Image obtained by Walrus]
Are the like/dislike buttons weird on my phone because of all the malware I keep there, is it affecting everyone?
I see it too. But then again, I also see dead people.
Your malware seems to have done something to my phone too.
“Weird” how?
Fagelah?
WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a press conference held on Capitol Hill Friday, mourning Democrat leaders called for flags to be flown half-mast to honor the death of Qasem Soleimani.
Flags were spotted flying at half-mast around the country, notably at The Washington Post, The New York Times, and in front of several celebrities’ homes. The celebrities went out and bought an American flag for the first time just to fly it at half-mast for this important time of grief.
“The grieving process is painful but necessary,” said Rep. Ilhan Omar. “As a nation, we need to stop and grieve this great, austere, revered religious scholar. He was one of the good ones.”
In a rare moment of unity with The Squad, Pelosi gave each of the girls a hug, telling them to just “let it all out” in their time of sadness.
Ocasio-Cortez didn’t seem to know what was happening but adjusted her glasses to look smart.
A teary-eyed Barack Obama was also seen solemnly lowering the flag in front of his seaside mansion. “To think, this all could have been prevented with a few pallets of cash.” He sighed and stared off into the distance, a look of pain and regret on his face. “If only Trump had targeted a U.S. citizen with a drone strike instead.”
Later, Democrats clarified they meant we should fly the Iranian flag at half-mast, not the “offensive and problematic” American flag.
~ Found at the Babylon Bee.
In a related story Democrat Presidential candidates have decided on a show of unity. Before every debate they will gather together for a 2 minute chant of “Death to America” to show their solidarity with the Iranian government.