Submitted by Slapout:
Archive of entries posted on July 2021
Douglas Adams: Prophet
Credit where credit’s due:
A commenter called Boogieman posted this on a news site:
“The ruler of the Universe dozed lightly in his chair. After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn’t know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.”
— Douglas Adams; “The Restaurant At the End of the Universe”
Giant Nepalese Yak Sez:
Straight Line of the Day: Huzzah! The Emmys Will Join the Olympics in Awarding Men in Female Roles! Next Up…
Straight Line of the Day: Huzzah! The Emmys will join the Olympics in awarding men in female roles! Next up…
The Emmys Nominates Its First Biological Male for Best ‘Lead Actress’
Red State | 07/14/2021 | Alex ParkerMj Rodriguez is the first transgender performer to be nominated for an Emmy in a major (non-guest) capacity. The category: Best Lead Actress in a Drama Series.
Welcome to IMAO! Have Some Eggs With Your Upcoming Bacon!
Douse The Butts
Friday Night Open Thread: Subtle Change
FDA Quietly Changes Drug Label Warning “Consult Your Doctor or Pharmacist To See if This Medication Is Right for You” to “Consult the Administration’s Door-to-Door Operatives To See if This Drug Is Required For You”
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Do you have something you’d like to share? A link? A joke? Some words of wisdom? A topic to discuss? It’s our nightly Open Thread, and you have the floor.
A Modernist Proposal
Why don’t a couple of hundred thousand citizens drop off laptops with a couple of hundred thousand incriminating emails, videos, and images — at privately-owned repair stores, and never pick them up, so that the president of the United States can call them the smartest people he’s ever met?
Once so designated, we’d surely be nominated to top positions. Top positions.
As an added bonus, this will give a couple of hundred thousand FBI agents nothing at all to do, so they could then go on vacation.
Win/win.
Until all repair stores are government-owned.
Concession Stand
Biden Low, Sell High
“On day one, I’ll kill off the competition.”
Susan Rice ordered to sell $2.7M stake in oil pipeline company after project moves forward
NY Post | 07/16/2021 | Steven NelsonPresident Biden’s adviser Susan Rice is being ordered to sell a $2.7 million stake in the oil pipeline company Enbridge — after the Biden administration decided to allow the firm’s Line 3 pipeline project.
The Office of Government Ethics ordered Rice to divest from the company on July 9, according to filings first reported by Fox Business.
Although Biden has broadly taken action against oil pipelines, most notably canceling the Keystone XL oil pipeline, his administration has continued to allow the Line 3 project, which would bring Canadian oil through Minnesota to Wisconsin.
Environmental activists oppose the Line 3 project, but the cause has received far less national attention than other pipelines.
Last month, Biden administration officials indicated they would not withdraw permission for Line 3 in a major boon for the company.
Follow-Up: Democrats Launch ‘Happy Badge’ for Weddings and Large Political Parties
Wait . . . Israel.
And not from The Babylon Bee.
Coronavirus: Israel Launches ‘Happy Badge’ for Weddings and Large Parties
Jerusalem Post | 7/16/2021 | Rossella TercatinIn a bid to prevent the spread of coronavirus at large events, the coronavirus cabinet…
(General Turgidson from Dr. Strangelove: “Hey, we gotta get one of those!”)
… on Thursday adopted the “Happy Badge,” an outline for safely holding mass gatherings.
… uh … if “lookalikes could kill” … In the voice of Dr. Strangelove himself:
On the heels of the third straight day with more than 750 cases, Prime Minister Naftali Bennett said the pass was necessary for “maximum protection.”
Starting Wednesday, access to weddings and similar events with more than 100 guests will be reserved to individuals who are vaccinated, recovered or holders of a recent negative coronavirus test, Bennett, Economy Minister Orna Barbivay and Health Minister Nitzan Horowitz said in a joint statement.
On Thursday, Brig.-Gen. (res.) Amos Ben Avraham was appointed as the ministry’s commissioner responsible for enforcing coronavirus quarantines.
Ben Avraham will head the coronavirus enforcement headquarters, which will coordinate the necessary operations, including the use of advanced technology and coordination between various bodies, such as the police, local authorities and the Airports Authority, the Public Security Ministry said.
And on a related topic:
Some 765 new cases of the novel coronavirus were reported in Israel on Wednesday, with 1.38% of tests returning positive, the Health Ministry reported Thursday morning.
The figure marks the highest number of new infections since March. Until a month ago, 10 to 20 new virus carriers were identified every day.
Out of how many tests per report? I wanted to do the math.
(I’ll assume the 765 new cases were for a 24-hour period, but it’s not specified.)
Serious morbidity has also increased. Some 54 patients were in serious condition on Thursday. A week ago, there were 41.
So, 13 more in a week. Is that average? This would be a great time to present that statistic. But wait — the topic shifts:
In April, with about 5,300 active cases, a similar number as now, more than 320 patients were in serious condition.
But now there are only 54, right?
Blizzard of jumbled numbers presented here.
A week ago, there were 41 patients in serious condition — out of how many positive tests, and/or out of how many “active cases,” whatever that means?
A week later, there were 54 patients in serious condition — out of how many positive tests, and/or out of how many “active cases”?
Is a positive test an active case?
If not, why not?
Who gets to decide between the two?
We get the numbers for April, but now we have nothing to compare them to now.
54 patients now in serious condition compared to 320 in April sounds like cause for rejoice, not depression.
The likely explanation is that among the current virus carriers, some 2,000 are schoolchildren, and half of them were fully vaccinated. Both groups are very unlikely to develop severe forms of the disease.
“Current virus carriers” may or may not be the same as “active cases,” but we are not given definitions or current numbers for either.
Otherwise, I’d give this report a straight “A” for effect.
Low Nielsen Rating
What Did He Say?
Biden Denounces Socialism During Visit by Germany’s Angela Merkel
NY Post | 07/15/2021 | Emily Jacobs and Steven NelsonPresident Biden denounced socialism during a Thursday press conference with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, taking a swipe at the ideology that an increasing number of fellow Democrats embrace.
“Communism is a failed system, a universally failed system. And I don’t see socialism as a very useful substitute, but that’s another story,” Biden said in the White House East Room.
Biden denounced the left-wing ideologies in response to a question about Cuba, where the largest anti-government protests in decades erupted Sunday. He separately slammed “phony populism.”
Yet, with his history of speeching his slurs, what he actually said was:
“Communism is a foiled system, a universally foiled system. And while Nancy’s socialism is a very useful substitute, Bhutan’s another story.”
He separately slammed “dog-faced phony Cornpopulism.”
The press obviously COVID for him.