Ladies and Gentlemen,
I ran out of Diet Coke this morning. The store only had Diet Pepsi, and being that Pepsi is the middle finger of the soda world I had to look for another drink there at local Mexican Mercado (That means market for you Other Than Mexicans).
Anyway, the only other drink they had was Peyote Light. Now with Splenda. Unbeknownst to me – Peyote has special mystical powers. And a fresh fruity aftertaste.
That’s right. RWD is now channeling the spirit of Howard Dean!!!
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!
Ask me anything you would want to ask Howard Dean!! I’ll post answers to the best questions later today.
Quick before this wears off!! Do you want to know what Howard Dean is thinking!!? I have the answers!!
(Takes a sip)
Hmmm. Peyote Light check your local grocer for availability.
P.S. I had some leftover exclamation points. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and a 4)
Dr. Dean, are you really working for Karl Rove?
Dr. Dean,
How come you’re an idiot?
and
Do you have a favorite pop-tart?
Mine’s Hot Fudge Sundae.
RWDean, I’m a white Christian Republican. Do you really hate me? I wanna be your friend.
What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
We all remember when Howard Dean got on the Sunday morning programs and was itterating that George Bush knew in advance that 9/11 was coming. He said he did not know if it was true, but that it was a plausible theory that someone needed to investigate.
Well, I have heard a plausible theory myself and I am wondering if it is true.
Now what I have heard is that the reason that Dean sealed up his Gubernatorial records for 10 years instead of the customary 6 years that all the other governors from Vermont have done is because he had a McGreevey moment with an intern while he was governor. The gay community caught wind of it and told him they would go public with the accusation if he did not sign on to the Civil Union BS. So Howard Dean gave us the first Civil Unions in the country. He knew he wanted to be president but was afraid that if he won the nomination then the election that the Gubernatorial records (I like saying that) would be unsealed before he could get a chance for re-election. Hence he sealed them up for 10 Years.
The question:
Is this true? If your not sure can you just make something up. It works for Isikoff.
The DNC was in a persistent vegetative state when you got there, but now that you’ve pulled the feeding tube, how long do you think it will actually take to die? Are you going to put the date you took over on its tombstone, or the date it actually dies?
Dr. Dean
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Also, Is fire bad?
On the Jon Stewrt Show last night you were unfunny and said nothing of value. Do you think a moist clump of sod would have been a better guest? On a related note, did you order a pizza?
RWDean,
How can we get the kitchen staff to vote Republican? Or rather, what steps are you taking to make sure the kitchen staff votes Republican?
Dr. Dean
How is your outreach plan to Confederate-flag wearing voters coming? Making any progress?
Dr. Dean, being the Bible know-er that you are, what is your favorite Old Testament book.
Does Vermont have penis envy?
Dr. Dean, who can scream louder, you or Roger Daltry? I mean, you’ve got the energy, the passion, the itinerary, but Roger’s got amplifiers and cool background music like, Won’t Get Fooled Again.
Is it true you can scream louder than the engine on a Boeing 747?
Dr. Dean,
I understand you take issue with questions about your patriotism. To lay those charges to rest once and for all, can you name and do you know the words to our national anthem?
Or maybe correctly recite the Pledge of Allegence?
Dear Mr. Dean,
I have recently acquired a small army of around 100,000 troops. Each are loyal to a fault, and will do whatever I command.
How can I best put them to use to attain my aspirations of becoming the Emperor of Canada?
BLRREEEAAAHGHH ROARWRRR YEYYYEEEAAAGH GRRLAAWWRRR UURR?
Dr. Dean,
Was this Frank J.?
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/gen/ap/FL_Monkey_Theft.html
and why didn’t my link work?
Dear RWDean,
How do I get bean dip out of my carpet?
Does peyote juice come in returnable bottles?
Can it be used in internal combustion engines?
How do airplanes stay up there?
BLRREEEAAAHGHH ROARWRRR YEYYYEEEAAAGH GRRLAAWWRRR UURR?
LOL
If a bill can become a law, is the reverse true?
IOW, can a lib become a wall?
Did your mom have any kids that lived?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Did you ever snort KoolAid?
On purpose?
With a white powdery sugar-like substance?
Can my kid beat up your honor student?
Can I beat you up?
Do you believe in Love?
Do you believe in Muskrat Love?
Have you ever loved a Muskrat?
Who cut your hair?
Do you ride the train?
When brains were handed out, did you really think they were talking about trains and decide to catch the next one?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Dr., Governor, Chairman Dean.
What size undies does Michael Moore wear?