…you can’t understand how Kennedy and Johnson wiretapping Martin Luther King and Nixon wiretapping his political enemies are any different from Bush wiretapping terrorists.
…you’re perplexed why anyone would consider using a corspe as a soapbox “ghoulish.”
Come on; don’t be shy. Add your own in the comments. Let’s get a big list going.
Why do I always have to do all the work…
…you find nothing wrong with lily-white Bill Clinton being dubbed The First Black President.
…you call Senators Sheets Byrd’s stint as a high ranking KKK guy a youthful indescretion, but will demand the ouster of a minor politician who correctly uses the word “niggardly” in a sentence.
..you believe Harry Belafonte has any discernable purpose on this planet aside from singing a fairly entertaining tune a generation or two ago.
..you don’t experience a shriveling sensation in your trousers when you see or hear Cindy Sheehan.
… you consider John McCain a great maverick moderate when he smacks down President Bush but a racist bomb thrower when he smacks down Kanye West..er.. Barak Obama.
…you consider any criticism of statements by, e.g., Cindy Sheehan, John Kerry, Barbara Boxer, to be an infringement of freedom of speech.
… you think making vile political statements at a funeral as completely appropriate.
…you see no problem with putting writing a letter campaign to an editor for something you classify as “insensitive” on the same level as firebombing the editors house, family, consulate, and or anything else that is readily flamible including the editor themself… so long as those doing the firebombing/letter writing are not Christian or JOOOOS.
You denounce de-forestation, and want to save the trees, but take campaign money from carpenters unions.
…you read Micheal Z. Williamson’s Freehold novels, and believe that the Freehold is the product of the liberal left, while the UN is the product of the evil megacorporations, exactly like said corporations are behind Orwell’s dystopia.
(How’s the reading coming, BTW? I finished Freehold and am near the end of The Weapon)
…you honestly think that calls for a “lowering of the partisanships” don’t actually come from your political side’s hugs-and-kisses-let’s-get-along department, and that they don’t just mean that Rethuglicans should stop whomping your delusions with facts, but only because there’s no partisanship in being a reactionary liberal.
…you end every sentence with, “BUT NO-ONE CAN QUESTION MY PATRIOTISM!”
…you think that a man without honor, dignity, and humility (say, Jimmy Carter) doesn’t look like a ghoul hiding behind the coffin of a woman who exhibited those qualities.
…think Brokeback Mountain lacked substance but are afraid to say so out loud because it might be taken as an assult on someone’s right not to have their personal life decisions held open for public discourse which might lead to a moment of self-doubt and other negativity.
You feel that expressing your political views is mainstream, but anything contrary to them is a Right-Wing Conspiracy.
… you still claim they are going to ’round us liberals up into camps’ even though we are one year into Bush’s second term.
…you think dealing with Iraq without France or Germany but with the UK, Australia, Poland, etc. is evil “unilateralism”, but dealing with Iran with France, Germany, and the UK is “outsourcing the negotiations”.
… you fail to see the irony of publicly and repeatedly exclaiming ‘we have no civil liberties any more’.
…you’re worried that the NSA’s wiretapping may lead to the divulgement of your famous “Tofu-Fiesta Casserole” recipe.
…you stopped having original ideas circa 1962.
…when outmatched in a debate your default response is “Bush Lied”.
…you attempted to create a “Chocolate City” according to Ray Nagins recipe of Dark Chocolate and White Milk. Unfortunately, instead of a city, you ended up with a glass of chocolate milk.
… you exhale/expel greenhouse gases all day long yet would cry foul if someone tried to make you stop.
…you marvel at the brillance of a fellow Leftard whose complex calculitic equation proves 2+2 does not equal 4 and conveniently dimiss the fact no real solution was given as you sneer at the “stupid right” for adhering to conventional mathematical dogma.
…you are rich but have no problem taking other people’s money to give to the poor.
…if you believe you are exempt from all liberal dogma you espouse.
//… you exhale/expel greenhouse gases all day long yet would cry foul if someone tried to make you stop.//
…unless of course, your husband had once heard you vaguely mention that you wouldn’t want to be kept on life support, then someone trying to make you stop would be okay…
…you are a feminist who believes wearing a burqua is a form of sisterhood solidarity against Bush’s systemic effort to take away women’s human rights in Afghanistan and Iraq
…if you are outraged over NSA wiretapping calls from overseas into the US, but never gave a thought to “increased terrorist chatter” as explanation to a heightened threat level (Also believes 2+2 doesn’t equal 4).
…if you’re still posting comments on imao post that are years old calling FrankJ a Nazi.
…if your still looking for that Halliburton clause in the Iraqi Constitution.
…facts just don’t matter.
You think that patchouli smells good.
If you think that the guy at cropcircleboardgames.co.uk sells real Princess diana stuff.
You point out that we’ve been down this road before.
Oh wait, that makes you an A-hole not a leftard. Or is it a muckadoo? Now I’m all confused.
…you think the word “abortion” really is in the Consititution somewhere.
Okay, a real, non-snide one.
If you look at this list and don’t immediately think, “What about the guns and 1,000 rounds of ammo for each one?”
You might be a leftard if the signs you hold read “Support Our Troops. Bring Them Home” on one side and “Impeach Bush” on the other.
You protest the war outside of Walter Reed Army Medical Center while soldiers who protect your freedom lay wounded and recovering inside.
You’re a Congresswoman from Houston.
You think the 9/11 Commission still does anything meaningful.
You believe that soy stops bullets better than Kevlar.
Your husband divorces you because you honor your son’s sacrifice by becoming a posterchild for wackos.
You think illegal aliens pay taxes.
You fail to recognize that President would have budgeted more money for college financial aid if he didn’t have to allocate more resources toward stopping illegal aliens swarming over the border.
You think that the INS was an effective federal agency.
You really believe that every alien who illegally enters the U.S. qualifies for Temporary Protected Status.
You believe that Muslims are tolerant, but Christians are not.
You think it’s okay to store AK-47s in mosques, but not in homes.
You hire illegal aliens to clean your house, watch your kids and cut your grass so you can have more time to protest military recruiters at the local high school (For all the leftards in Montgomery County, Maryland. Props to Michael Graham).
You believe illegal aliens should be issued drivers licenses despite not being able to read the English printed on them.
You work for PBS.
You think church youth groups, the Minutemen, and the Guardian Angels are racist hate groups, but “La Raza” (The Race) and the Nation of Islam aren’t.
You think there’s more to Al Sharpton than just great hair.
You think Reginald Denny deserved it and Rodney King didn’t.
You think voting information should be printed in multiple languages.
You believe showing identification at the polls smacks of “Big Brother” despite the fact that seven percent of those who vote aren’t even U.S. citizens!!!
Your mantra is “Run, Jesse, run!”
‘You work for PBS.’
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“If you look at this list and don’t immediately think, “What about the guns and 1,000 rounds of ammo for each one?”
Why only 1000 rounds?
…you think that killing babies in an abortion clinic is good, but killing a multiple murderer on death row is bad.
…you think making leftist political speeches at a funeral held INSIDE A CHURCH is OK, but a conservative doing the same thing calls for swift action by the IRS
…you think the IRS are the good guys
…you’re rooting AGAINST Jack Bauer
…you think “Will and Grace” represents the mainstream of America
…you think the “mainstream” media represent the mainstream of America
…you think Teddy K would make a great drivers-ed teacher
…your fingers dont dig halfway through your armrests when Nancy Pelosi stands up to speak
…you think Teddy K would make a great drivers-ed teacher…
Glurg… gurgle.. gasp! I don’t know who wrote that, but man! Good show!
My Contribution:
You still think the Clinton impeachement was about sex.
…you think George W. Bush is dummer than a box of rocks, but smart enough to lead an international conspiracy involving oil companies, defense contractors, and the Saudi Royal Family.
…you always say ‘the Bush administration’s illegal war’
You believe that all illegal aliens aren’t criminals
You believe the U.S. is the biggest violator of human rights in the world
You think taxes are the solution for deficits
You think marriage is a right
You also think medical insurance is a right
And getting a drivers license
And having wireless internet access
You believe global warming will kill us all
You believe that global warming is causing global cooling
You believe socialism can work
…you think giving full protection under the Constitution to the idiots at Gitmo is “what any humane civilization would do”.
… if you think the way to deal with a bully is to give him your lunch money
… if you think it’s O.K. to give an abortion to a minor even though they can’t get any other medical procedure done without the permission of their parents and insurance companies
… you think the founding fathers said anything about “the separation of Church and State”
… if after every Republican victory you threaten to leave the county, but never do
… if you go to other countries and bash the president and government, enrage your fan base and sink into obscurity
There are so many, many more!
…you believe a 13 y/o can decide to have an abortion but a “kid” enlisted in the military was too immature to make such a decision on his own.
…you believe record warmth in January, record cold in December, record cold in Europe and Russia, drought in the SW, monsoons in SW Asia, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, insect investations, plagues, killer bees, droughts, flooding, red tide, shark attacks, forest fires, active volcanoes, are ALL the result of GLOBAL WARMING. Don’t think so??? Then it’s Allah’s wrath on the infidels for disrespecting Islam! What??? You don’t believe me????? Then SHUT THE F%&K UP!!!! IT’S ALL GEORGE BUSH’S FAULT!!!!
… you believe that Roe V. Wade was supported by anything remotely constitutional.
… you say the Constitution is a “living document”, but think Roe v. Wade is irreversible.
… you don’t get the irony of buying a Che Guevarra t-shirt at a mall retail store.
… you believe the courts have the right to legislate from the bench, as long as there is never a Conservative majority.
You like getting up on your high horse…
…you think Michael Moore is relevant and entertaining.
…you’re only interested in protecting those parts of the constitution that you and your friends use to ensure your personal right to irresposibility and unaccountability… and handouts… ; but want to end those aspects you don’t understand as being “outdated”
…you don’t think it’s odd that immigrants taking the oath of citizenship sometimes are asked to to so- no kidding- in Spanish.
…you were a presidential canditate who was all for raising taxes, yet used numerous loopholes to avoid paying your own.
…you drove your car w/ the “NOT MY PRESIDENT” bumper sticker to a “NO BLOOD FOR OIL” protest rally.