“That’s a real nice school we just built for ya… be a shame if anything… you know… happened to it.”
CENTCOM has the details
Archive of entries posted on 7th February 2006
Who’s the Plantation
I just realized I used plantation rhetoric long before Hillary.
Go Frank!
With money to burn
While reading a story on Reuters about where the folks in Gaza get all those Danish flags to burn, I noticed this interesting tidbit…
Abu Dayya sources some of his flags from suppliers in Taiwan, but he buys Israeli flags from a merchant in Israel, even though he sells them to be burnt at anti-Israeli rallies.
Politics, schmolitics – there’s a sale to be made.
I’m sure this is giving FrankJ some ideas.
Al Queda Spam?
This is too weird. Just the other day, and in the interest of diversity of thought, I subscribed to the ACLU email newsletter. Darn them. I now appear to be on some sort of spam list. See what you make of the email below.
**
We believe that whatever Allah has in store for us, it is good.
Dear Al Queda Buddy,
We are sending this to you with good intentions. By reading the poem and sending it on to at least 10 friends in the next 24 hours, you too could have many wonderful blessings.
Let us share with you some of the good things that have been happening.
Ali’s Story
Ali read this poem and sent it on to 10 Al Queda friends. Soon afterward, it was discovered that Ali was being spied on by the evil NSA. His plans for destruction were almost discovered. Thankfully, the media revealed the NSA’s horrible actions and now he and the ACLU have filed a lawsuit. Ali could be making millions!!
All because he read the poem and passed it on to 10 people.
Don’t believe us? Then read the story of–
Hassan.
Hassan got this poem and, being the believer that he is, quickly logged off Democratic Underground, and sent it on to ten friends. Later, he was able to carry out his Martyr Mission successfully, and is now basking in the glory of 72 wonderful virgins.
Great, right? But not all death is good. Especially, if you don’t forward this email. Let us tell you about–
Mahmoud
Mahmoud started to read the poem. But he had other issues to deal with so he stopped reading the poem, and went to work at his job at the NY Times. Later, Mahmoud was discovered dead, clutching a book by Michelle Malkin, with a big bag of pork rinds lying at his feet. It’s easy to suspect the Jews, but we blame it on his not reading the poem.
So act today. Make sure you read the poem and send this on to ten friends right away.
The Poem
Kill them, kill them dead
For saying that we do not tolerate
For saying that we hate
Kill them, kill them dead
For drawing cartoons
And putting a bad face on our prophet
Saying that his deeds were not worthy
Kill them, kill them all
Do they mock us?
Kill them
Do they not respect us?
How dare they insult our peaceful ways!
Kill them, Kill them, Kill them
Kill them, Kill them, Kill them
Kill them, Kill them, Kill them
Kill them, Kill them, Kill them
Kill them, Kill them, Kill them
**
You have read the stories, you have read the poem. Do you want curses or blessings?
Act today.
Remember, the more people you send this to, the more blessings you will discover.
Have a nice day.
**
Sigh,
I miss the days when most of my spam was for sex enhancement drugs, porn, and printer cartridges.
Frank Advice on Drawing Mohammed
So, you want to draw Mohammed? Follow these steps and you can have your own artistic depiction of the Prophet:
1. Obtain a drawing pad. If you don’t want to spend money on one, a blank piece of white printer paper on top of a hard surface works for drawing.
2. Find a nice sharpened pencil or a quality mechanical pencil. For a good artistic depiction of Mohammed, you need good tools. Also, a clean eraser will help with the inevitable mistakes.
3. Assuming this will be a full body depiction, first draw a circle for the head and then mark the height of the entire body by making it seven times the head size. Do rough sketch of the body shape, legs, and arms based on standard proportions for a male subject.
4. Call your embassies in Middle Eastern countries to check their fire precautions including smoke detectors and fire escapes. When drawing Mohammed, it is essential your embassies already have procedures in case of fire.
5. Draw Mohammed’s clothes. You can base this on the historically accurate depictions of clothing for the time. While it may be tempting to draw Mohammed with a leather jacket with one sleeve missing and a shotgun, this would not be an accurate depiction of the Prophet. If you can’t find an image of proper clothing for the time period, use a muumuu as your model.
6. Check that your firearms are clean and loaded. You may need them at a moment’s notice.
7. For Mohammed’s head, a turban would be appropriate. Make sure to research tying styles to draw the turban accurately. Turbans are not made with towels and should not have a Holiday Inn logo.
8. Make sure to test your alarm system. If someone breaks into your house, you want to make sure that both you and the police will be notified by the alarm.
9. For Mohammed’s face, make sure to draw him happy; if you were a prophet of Allah, wouldn’t you be happy? He should have a beard, but don’t use a member of ZZ Top as a model for the face.
10. Obtain a siren. Radical Muslims are easily scared by bright lights and loud noises.
11. Consider accessories such as a scimitar in Mohammed’s hand and/or a scroll he has written. While a lightsaber might be fun, this is not what Mohammed would be seen holding according to historical records.
12. Practice drawing from your holster and make sure you can take off the safety and pull the trigger in one smooth action.
If you follow all these tips, you’ll now have your own drawing of Mohammed and not be dead. Enjoy!
PETA cares more about Arab donkeys than Jewish cats
Today, a kittycat was murdered by terrorists in Israel:
Two Qassam rockets landed in the south of Israel Tuesday. The first rocket hit a house in the town of Sderot, causing damage to property and killing a cat that was hurt by shrapnel in the backyard.
The rocket landed a few meters away from two kindergartens. Following the fall, the children were rushed into reinforced rooms.
The second rocket landed in an open area at a western Negev community.
…
Etti Altman, spokesperson for the Let Animals Live organization, expressed great anger over the cat’s death in the attack.
“The organization regrets the fact that Qassam rockets also hit animals, and that a poor cat in the yard was killed as a result of the firing. The responsible groups should take this into consideration and understand that the terror organizations also have the animal rights organizations to deal with,” she said.
And Islamic Jihad thought they had their hands full with IDF airstrikes. Now they have to deal with the fury of animal rights organizations – oy gevalt!
Hrm… animal rights organizations… well, PETA has said nothing about this poor, defenseless Jewish kittycat getting murdered by terrorists.
However, when it comes to Arab donkeys, Ingrid Newkirk of PETA gets all hot and bothered. From February 2003:
Continue reading ‘PETA cares more about Arab donkeys than Jewish cats’ »
Man’s Best Friends, Terrorists’ Worst Enemy
We had enough money left over from wedding gifts that I demanded we have money set aside to get a dog. I said to SarahK, “Woman, we’re getting a dog!” I even informed my cat Sydney that, as soon as I get a dog, I’m never going to pay her attention ever again, so she better get it while it’s available (she then bit me).
SarahK is now a housewife, so that helps, but I still need lots of information on getting a puppy and then caring for said puppy, so if anyone has that information or knows where to get that information, I’d appreciate the advice. We’ll be getting a German Shepherd or German Shepherd mix. And, does anyone know anything about “crate training”?
Anyway, I’m so excited about getting a dog, I’ve decided to draw concept art. I’m going to name the dog Tuco after a character from my favorite movie. Here’s my vision for Tuco in Phase 1:
In the initial phase, Tuco will be small and even lack the muscles for holding his ears up. His teeth will be small and pointy like needles and no good for the crushing of bones. Also, he’ll have a cuteness factor that will keep him from intimidating my foes. Thus, we move on to Phase 2:
I will train away Tuco’s cuteness by having him attack the cats (who are a constant annoyance to me). Anytime the cats make noise, I’ll yell, “Tuco! Cats!” and he’ll go bite the cats until they’re quiet. This will also help him wear out his puppy teeth. This training will eventually lead to Phase 3:
Now, Tuco will be a lean, mean fighting machine. Also, he’ll probably be angry for no reason. All I’ll have to do is direct is anger at my enemies. I won’t stop there, though, as, after enough funding, I hope to move to Phase 4:
Continue reading ‘Man’s Best Friends, Terrorists’ Worst Enemy’ »
PWNED!
SWEEET!
McCain PWNED Obama!
Not that I am a big fan of McCain’s, really.
I haven’t liked him since he killed McAble.