- yay! graphic violence! SPOILERS BELOW THE FOLD.
Archive of entries posted on 6th February 2006
If It’s So Smart, How Come It Don’t Know Nothing About Me?
There is finally a Wikipedia entry for IMAO.
I’ve gone from hating Wikipedia just because to finding it quite useful for non-controversial topics, at least (you want to quickly know the kingdom, phylum, calss, order, family, and genus of the platypus with cross-references, I don’t think you can find a better site).
There were two links to IMAO.us in Wikipedia until just a couple days ago (a link to IMAO on the Mumia page was removed on Janurary 30th). Now I have but one (heh; I’m an entertainer).
That reminds me; I have a video to show you guys. Stay tuned…
UPDATE: Did some write an IMAO Blog page just so I could get deleted again? Since last time (I forget when that was and am too lazy to look it up), they now have specific guidelines for what makes a website and a blog “notable.” Maybe a case could be made, but I don’t feel like it. Still, getting called “non-notable” really stings. Stupid wiki-doodie-heads.
Hmm, but they seem to use Alexa to judge sites. If everyone got one of those Alexa bars, we could inflate that…
UPDATE 2: Here’s the debate the previous time someone wrote a page. It was closer then, even though the article on IMAO was horrible and didn’t follow Wikipedia guidelines at all.
Fun Trivia
Fun Trivia
We Know It’s Crap, But It’s Better Than Some Boring Oscar Nominee
I just noticed that, for three weekends in a row, the top grossing movie was not screened for critics. I don’t know about you, but, if I were a film critic, I’d be feeling pretty useless about now.
…if I wasn’t feeling useless before, that is.
BTW, one of those movies, Underworld: Evolution, will be reviewed in the next podcast. Yee-haw!
Always look on the bright side of death
Know what the worst thing about getting death threat phone calls last week was?
Continue reading ‘Always look on the bright side of death’ »
Christians Would Be Mocked Less by the Media If They Stopped Listening to Jesus
An Editorial by Frank J.
The left are having a lot of trouble with the Muslim cartoon riots, as they can’t seem to come to any conclusions different than those of right-wingers. The Muslims aren’t even rioting against the things the left wanted them to get angry about like the invasion of Iraq and supposed torture. The only thing that seems to get the radicals out in the streets so far have been a phony story about a flushed Koran and a couple of cartoons. A few lefties, struggling to hold onto their warped world view where the Muslims radicals are the victims since the terrorists hate Bush, try to equivocate Christian fundamentalists with Islamic radicals since Christians also complain when they get made fun of.
And it’s true; we complain a lot. That’s because, unlike the Muslims, we get targeted in the mainstream media all the time. There were even tax dollars going to a crucifix in a jar of urine, and we complained… but that’s all we did. Where were the burnt buildings? Where were the beheadings? Moron rapper Kayne West posed as Jesus on a magazine cover; where’s the fatwa against him?
Christians don’t even have a word for “fatwa”! Know why? Jesus.
Jesus is all peace and love, and, whatever the merits of that message, that won’t frighten the media away from making fun of you. As we’ve seen, believable threats of violence and death tend to make people more sensitive about your feelings. Too many Christians, though, won’t murder an infidel or a blasphemer because it’s not “what Jesus would have wanted.” Well, as long you’re hiding behind that excuse, who is going to be afraid of us?
Remember back when Christians stopped listening to Jesus and murdered whomever they didn’t like? How many people mocked Christianity during the Spanish Inquisition? Not very many people at all.
Frankly, I have little room to complain, as I’ve been listening a bit too much to Jesus too. Last time my Christian sensibilities were offended, know how many embassies I burned?
One or less.
Well, it’s time for a change. I’ve even come up with how to pretend it’s in my religious beliefs to do violence on behalf of hurt feelings. I’ll just extrapolate Jesus knocking over a few tables in a temple into igniting a consulate while ignoring all that “turn the other cheek” stuff. So, come on, Christian brethren, it’s time to burn and pillage until people quiver in fear at the thought of mocking us.
I say we start with the Muslim countries; not much respect there.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the creator of such blasphemous illustrations as “Jesus Versus Mohammed: The Cage Match” and “Buddha Robbing a Liquor Store”.
Super Bowl Observations
I enjoyed the Super Bowl yesterday. It’s a much more enjoyable time when you aren’t worried about your own team winning. So, I’d like to share with you some of my feeling and reflections on this years event.
RWD’s Super Bowl Observations:
When it comes to scoring, teams from Pittsburgh are granted a Groundhog Exception. As long as the shadow of the football can be seen in the end zone — the touchdown is counted.
However, this gives them six more weeks of winter.
No touching in the end zone. Any touching will be counted as offensive pass interference.
Is it me, or were some of the most exciting passes the ones that ended in interceptions?
Seattle has one fugly uniform. With the teams recent success, hopefully they can stop shopping at Honest Al’s Football Uniform Outlet.
Stealer fans greatly outnumbered Seattle fans. It must have been tough on them. Especially with all the Steeler fans snapping towels at them.
Mick Jagger is an international star. But if I were to dance like that, I’d be accused of being intoxicated. And uncoordinated. And really, really old.
The Stones are at the point in their career where they can “dial it in.” I could swear I saw Keith Richards napping.
In a perfect world, they would have had the music in the background and kept the camera on the pretty girls in the audience.
Speaking of intoxicated; I have decided to boycott Radio Shack because of their commercials. By spending money at their stores, I would be enabling what can only be considered a serious drinking problem. Who signed off on those horrible commercials?
Commercial: Girl with horrible accent: This is the Ipod. Buy me this ipod, it’s great. It’s got “I” and it’s got “Pod.” Oh, and accessories. BTW, can you see my herpes blister?
Sweetest commercial. The Budweiser Clydesdale where the baby horse is pulling the Budweiser wagon, and the momma, and poppa are right behind pushing. Too sweet..
Weirdest Commercial: Burger King. You have all these dancers dressed as pieces of hamburger, tomatoes, onions, and what not. In the end, they all pile on top of each other onto a bun. I wasn’t sure if I was viewing a salad or an orgy. I was waiting for a big squirt of mayonnaise.
Stupidest commercial: The Don’t be too Quick to Judge commercials. (slaps his knee) Gee, a woman ends up straddling a guy on an airplane flight. How edgy. How bold. How stupid.But then again — maybe I shouldn’t be too quick to judge.
BTW, what product was that? I don’t know, but at least there was no mayonnaise.
John Madden is an excellent football announcer. Frank Gifford would do better if he spent most of the game asking, “What do you think, John?”
**
Congratulations to the Steelers. They had a great season, a hard fought playoffs and a wonderful game yesterday. That was an excellent peformance. What do you think, John?
UPDATE: Correction. The announcer with John Madden was not the horrible Frank Gifford: it was the horrible Al Michaels. Thanks for the correction from reader Vic.
Leave It to Boehner
I know many of you have been waiting for my opinion on the new Majority Leader so you’d know what to think. First, of course, I had to listen to the pundits on TV so I’d know what to think. Problem was, everything they said was boring so I had to come up with an opinion of my own.
MY OPINION:
The establishment all wanted Blunt and every single blog wanted Shadegg, thus we got Boehner. This is good.
All the howler monkeys of the leftwing blogs were screeching and flinging poo about wanting a filibuster on Alito, so the Democrats gave them their dog and pony show. When the rightwing blogs made a fuss, the Republicans seemed to listen (no Blunt), but they didn’t answer, “How high?” when we said, “Jump!” (no Shadegg) Again, that is good. As soon as the Republicans do everything blogs tell them, that means they’re weak and out of ideas. The establishment is still strong enough that, when we demanded Shadegg, they were like, “Well, who the hell are you?”
And, no, I don’t know how to pronounce “Boehner,” but Godspeed to him.
What a Coincidence…
Leslie of Leslie’s Omnibus posted about a Chicago Trib columnist (Amy Dickinson) who bashed blogs in a recent column. (Go here for a free Bug Me Not login if you’re not registered with the Trib)
Ironically enough, I just got a letter from a concerned reader with her OWN tale of woe that shares some striking parallels with the Dickinson missive (you may want to read the Trib column first so that you can see the similarities).
I’ve posted it below, along with my response.
My on-and-off boyfriend of three years started registering for and logging in to chicagotribune.com about five months ago.
He is in a band, so the whole idea made sense to me for networking and promoting his band. Then, all of a sudden, chicagotribune.com took over his life and he started waking up immediately to log on. He had a slew of factually-inaccurate articles & extreme left-wing columns he read all day.
He read this one woman who wrote every thought that entered her head and every conversation she had into a column — and I was able to follow and track the progress of her increasingly bile-filled political bias — because it was all publicly posted.
Of course, he and I are no longer seeing each other because I was devastated by the number and the depth of the lies which were fed to him by this woman — each time she lied, HE would end up repeating what she had said in her many columns. Most important, I was unhappy with who I had become — this insane voyeur logging onto chicagotribune.com each day to check up on why my boyfriend had become a frothing, Bush-hating, liberal moonbat.
This woman provided details about conversations with “anonymous sources”, details about secret National Security Agency programs, insensitive cartoons about wounded soldiers — even exploitable details about the vulnerabilities of America’s transportation infrastructure — things that I am sure people never expected posted on the Web. I worry that, since chicagotribune.com has no conscience, they will sell my personal information to porn-spammers. What do you think of this?
Signed,
Tribulated
Dear Tribulated,
For people who don’t know, chicagotribune.com is an online “newspaper” of other people’s photos and life stories, where “journalists”, build “readerships” and write “columns” to while away their sad and empty days. (A “newspaper” is large sheets of paper covered with words — sort of like a CNN transcript.) According to one recent estimate, there are more than 70 million newspapers being printed around the world.
As your letter points out, the virtues of life at a newspaper are also its deficits. People can easily meet and develop working relationships, but the problem with developing relationships with strangers is that strangers have no reason to respect your privacy — they have no qualms about exposing you for misquoting or even completely making up sources. Your story is yet another reason why life as a columnist has become not only messy but also so boring. People who live a journalist’s life don’t have actual experiences. Their stories tend to reflect that.
I can’t understand why people are so hungry to share their every waking thought with the rest of the world — and I certainly don’t understand why people are interested in reading these musings, personal details and outright lies.
Maybe you should try reading blogs, instead.
Super Bowl The Big Game Ad Talkback
So what ad did you like best? I liked the one for the local news at eleven.
UPDATE: SarahK has a post on all the commercials here. I probably liked the “crime detterence” one best. The Fed Ex one was good, but old-fashioned physical comedy beats out special effects in the end. The other Sprint/Nextel commercial (with the couch on fire) was also pretty good.
And were Sarah and I the only ones who liked the Emerald Nuts commercial?