Know what the worst thing about getting death threat phone calls last week was?
Man, they were using up my minutes. The month is just starting, and I’m burning through my pool like protestors burning through embassies.
“We’re going to kill yooooooooou.”
“Hey, can you call back after 7, dude? Or hold off until Friday so my unlimited minutes kick in?”
They never do. No wonder why there’s no negotiating with terrorists. Or a Friends and Fatwahs plan.
“We’re going to kill yooooooooou.”
“You’re killing me with overage charges already! Auuuuuugh!”
Plus, I had to change my ringtone to a plain ringtone because I wasn’t quite getting the full fear and terror impact from the calls with “Popeye the Sailor Man” as my ringtone.
Just my luck, the battery in the phone starts to run low, and I’m expecting an important phone call about a real cool opportunity.
Bastards!
Is that what happened last week? Damn….Your from Texas, don’t you have guns in every room of your house including strapped on you (concealed of course?)
Wouldn’t be better if you set a specific ring tone for threatening calls? That way you could screen your calls and the only minutes used would be the ones deleting voice mails.
For bonus points, you can read the numbers of the callers off your bill and then call them at a better time, say three in the morning.
I think you misunderstood me. I said “we’re going to kill ewes.”
I was just inviting you to hunt with us. Sorry.
Moonbeam! You, hunting innocent female lambs! Should have known after your PETA escapades. For shame!
Lair, the FunDUMBmentalists bombing your phone because of Ask Mohammad, eh? Guess a good old Mossberg or Smith & Wesson greeting would be the only neighborly thing to do.
Death threats over the phone? That’s just lazy, what happened to the days of the threatening letter, signed with blood? Consequently, should you need to hide out for a few, head up to north Texas, I’ll put you up until the smoke clears.
P.S. When you come…leave the cats.
I use “Hail to the Chief” for my ringtone. I find it very soothing.
Nah, it was “I’m going to kill joooo!” The folks in al-Faruq play that recorded message to every heeb in town.