Commentator Bryant Gumbel was right on when, during a recent broadcast he said…
So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention.
Bryant was right by Gumbit!
I say that the Winter Olympics is a LOT like the GOP.
The Top 10 Ways the Winter Olympics is Like the GOP–
10. We don’t throw our athletes under the team bus! BTW, what is Paul Hackett doing these days?
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9. Best score wins. No extra points given for nationality.
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8. Guns: Winter sports feature shooting with real ammo. It couldn’t be better unless we got to ski and cut down trees.
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7. People stand for the National Anthem.
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6. Flag trading limited to souvenirs not citizenship.
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5. Men’s luge. Women’s luge. Nothing for transgender.
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4. Sweepers on Curling team have their immigration papers.
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3. Admiration of Roe Vwade refers to the skier from Norway. And his brother, Ingvar Vwade.
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2. Medals are ordered in bulk from Wal-Mart.
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And the Number One Way that the Winter Games are like the GOP…
Archive of entries posted on 16th February 2006
Fun Trivia
What was US ambassador to the UN John Bolton’s response to the UN’s suggestion that we shutdown Gitmo?
Not quite like a virgin
Congratulations to Madonna for once again reinventing herself with her recent hernia operation.
Superstar Madonna has been treated for a hernia but is now “absolutely fine,” her spokeswoman said on Thursday.
The singer, who performed at the Grammy awards in New York last week, re-appeared in public on Thursday night when she accepted a Brit record industry statuette in London as Best International Female Artist of the year.
“She had a minor procedure for a hernia and is absolutely fine now,” the spokeswoman said, declining to elaborate.
For the first time, she lays flat on her back with a group of rich men poking around inside of her and it’s the insurance company that’s paying for it.
Must Love Dogs
Thanks for all the dog advice everyone gave us previously. SarahK and I are starting our search in earnest for a dog now, and we’re going to start with trying to find a pound puppy or rescued dog. The thing is, we need the dog to be a puppy so as not to freak out the dumb cats too much and we’d prefer he’d be a German Shepherd or Shepherd mix. What’s the best place to look?
Be Careful! He May Gore!
I realize I haven’t yet commented on all the crazy things Al Gore said at the Jeddah Economic Forum. Since Gore was Vice President for eight years and is a favorite of the muckadoos, I think it’s important to note what he’s doing. Many people were angered when he trashed us in front of the human rights giant Saudi Arabia by saying how America has been indiscriminately rounding up Saudis based simply on them breaking the law, but he also said other crazy things… specifically ten in number:
TOP TEN OTHER CRAZY THINGS AL GORE TOLD THE SAUDS
10. “Even though the NSA listens to all our phone calls, they won’t pay half my phone sex bills.”
9. “When you’re not watching, the dogs all laugh at you behind your back. I can’t prove it… but it’s true!”
8. “Oilcan!”
7. “Though I was not elected President, I still am the lizard king!”
6. “If you are wondering why I’m wearing Kleenex boxes on my feet, it’s because the neo-cons spy on us through our shoes.”
5. “If I told you the reason I’m wearing women’s underwear, though, they’d kill you too.”
4. “They say I’m stiff, but look at me raise my arms above my head.” (minute later) “There, I did it.”
3. “In America, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.”
2. “First the police came for the muggers. Then for the liquor store robbers. Who will these Nazis round up next?”
And the number one other crazy thing Al Gore told the Sauds–
What’s going on? I’ll tell you what.
Dissent is being stifled left and right, well left anyway. The Bushco-Halliburton constructed re-education camps in Texas are already filling up. Now the camps themselves are begining to become stifling what with all the crowding and the combined hippy odors of those being detained. The Democratic Underground, KOS and the City of Seatle are all practically empty now. The few remaining ‘voices’ are Rightwing moles used to badger and ferret out the rats. Other rodent figures of speech were not available for comment.
In related news, the depopulations of dissenters resulting from liberals being abducted along with the new jobs created from new camp construction are driving unemployment down nationwide. However this depopulation is only freeing up on average 1 job for every 25 liberals being sent to the camps, since many are able to remain gainfully unemployed during their in-camp-ceration.
Gas prices are down a little, due to the influx of stolen Afghani and Iraqi oil. However, the upcoming wars we have scheduled with Venezuela and Iran should help bring them down further to make the solution to the liberal problem more cost effective.
So You Didn’t Laugh When Cheney Hit a Kid in the Head with a Kitten?
I wrote a nice little post about how everyone loves IMAO (I even got an e-mail from a liberal today who enjoys IMAO), but then I found this comment (edited for language):
This website SUCKS!!! What a bunch of sick ronin you all are. I HATE neo-cons! Your gun worshipping is revolting. Go blow away each other in your self-righteousness. Keep a handgun with you at all times! Shoot first and ask questions later, just like dick(head) cheney did while quail hunting! Go blow up the rest of the world, go nuke them to prove how “bad ass” you really are. Yee-haw! Then kill all the liberals, kill all the socialists, kill all the Europeans (because they aren’t into “intelligent design” and still prefer science (you know–the science that brought you the internet…your PC…you Mac…your chemo-therapy if you ever had cancer…etc). I just don’t get you people. I think you are ruining my country. There is SERIOUS division in this country now. I think it will only get much worse in the years to come.
I’d respond to the substance of this comment, but IT’S ALL TOTALLY TRUE!
Still, this person seems unhappy. People should be happy. You, Mr. Liberal, need to be more happy. Find a grassy field on a sunny day and spend the afternoon chasing butterflies. After that, you come back and comment again. I’m sure your comment will be much more happy and make us all happy too. Then the circle of happiness goes on!
Remember, ronin, many liberals out there are just in need of a hug, so go hug them and make them happy.
IMAO accepts no responsibility for hug related mishaps. Anyone who takes advice from Frank J. is doing so at his own risk and against the advice of about any lawyer.
Uh… What’s Going on Again?
Carnival of Comedy #42 is UP
Sherlock at BakerStreet has Karn Evil #9 errr Carnival of Comedy # 42 posted. You should go read it.
He has the answer to life, the universe, etc. as well as links to the best comedy that was submitted this week.
And he’s keeping the potty talk in the potty where it belongs not in the Carnival. Yay! Now go read.