Part 1: Iraq
Part 2: Military Reform
“While the goal of any civilized society is to live peacefully while feasting on nachos and beer, we must not forget those who put their lives on the line for our way of life. They deserve not just nachos and beer but also our gratitude and respect and pizza with as many toppings as they want.”
Our troops are not getting the respect they deserve, and it should be a big part of the new Republican agenda to change. Our military men and women get shipped off to the worst parts of the world and get yelled at by superiors and shot at by the enemy. That will never change, but others things can change to make life for our troops better.
Whatever is legal in America is legal for Americans anywhere else in the world.
Troops in Iraq don’t get beer because it may offend the Muslims. That’s wrong. How can I enjoy my nachos and beer if those putting their life on the line can’t enjoy theirs? Troops should be able to have their beer in any country, and those offended by it should remember that out military is heavily armed and likes to kill stupid jerks.
In Saudi Arabia, our troops can’t wear religious symbols because it might confuse and offend the primitive cavemen that makes up much of their population. Well, Saudi Arabia’s whole existence offends us, yet we don’t obliterate it. So, if our troops want to walk around the Middle East wearing huge crosses while drinking beer and eating bacon, everyone else should just smile and wave and not make any sudden movements.
Other countries will always hate us, so why worry about offending their moronic sensibilities?
America is a million times better than everywhere else in the world, so we’re going to be resented no matter what we do. Any time spent worrying about what other countries think is time wasted.
Worse than the poor treatment troops get from foreign people (who, at least, they are able to shoot) is the disrespect they get from fellow Americans. We need a big change in policy to confront this:
We need to arrest for people for treason.
We’ve had like one charge of treason in the past few decades, but it should be increased to hundreds or thousands a year.
And what’s treason? Using propaganda to get America attacked and our troops killed. One example is protesting the war. When people protest a war, it makes the enemy think they can win. Thus the enemy fights harder and more people die on both sides. That’s wrong evil and traitorous.
The time to protest a war is before it starts. After that, shut up.
Not shutting up only gets people killed, and those who stroke their own egos with no concern of the consequences must go to jail for treason.
The other type of treason that undermines our military is the faux-support of the troops.
You are only supporting the troops if you support them as warriors and cheer on their mission. Anything else undermines them.
People who say they support the troops but then talk about them as idiots or children who need to be brought home to be saved from their own stupid choices do the exact opposite of supporting the troops. They are patronizing them, making them look weak, and encouraging the enemy. Those people also most go to jail for treason.
Some may worry that with all the complaints of civil right violations now, it will only get worse if we start arresting lots of people for treason. Well, the reason so many feel secure complaining about made up civil rights violations is because no one is actually being sent to prison for it. Start arresting them, and the cowards will shut up.
We’ll need to fund more prisons to hold traitors.
They don’t need to be expensive prisons with cable TV and rat poison; traitor prison should be extra bad prison. If people don’t like traitor prison, then they shouldn’t be stupid traitors.
Back to the subject of troop benefits, our military men and women should get lots of free videogames. My brother was quite happy in Fallujah until he ran out of DVDs to watch. Our troops should have plenty of DVDs and videogames they can watch and play as they drink beer and eat nachos during their downtime from killing foreigners.
If you have other ideas for troops benefits put them in the comments. If you are in the military, tell us what you want to make deployment better.
Once again, I hope you’ll all support the new positive agenda America really needs right now. Part 4 will be about border security.
Be honorable, ronin.
Well lets make good use of all the closed military bases.
and FIRST!! (i think)
That is the greatest post ever. Ever.
I also reserve the right to eat hot wings at hooters without having to defend the flavor I bought.
Not all DemoCRAPs are guilty of Treason, of course. Some are only guilty of sedition.
The best way to support the troops? Liberal quantities of ammo and a Permissive ROE, based almost exclusively on Rule 303.
My first instinct on traitor prisons is that they should be Federal Pound-You-In-The-Ass Prisons. But I think that the traitors would enjoy that too much.
I think that the troops should be able to institute a “Running Man”-type of reality show where people like Sean Penn, Michael Moore and Al Franken are dropped into the worst parts of Iraq with no weapons and no U.S. military protection and told to get out alive. Let’s see how far their “Hug First and Ask Questions Later” policies get them then. We could make it a pay-per-view event with all of the proceeds going into a fund for troop bonuses.
I only have one beef with this post: prison for traitors? I thought treason was a hangin’ offense. Can’t we bring that back?
So far, I support your agenda.
More pizza and beer for the troops and more money. Yea! Oh, and immunity from collateral damage. Common, the first rule of a military is to kill people and break things. Yea Military force!
Sean Penn might actually get somewhere with that, when you consider his long history of personal violence. Of course, it’s only against photographers, but maybe he can talk the insurgents into carrying cameras instead of AKs.
You’re gonna need at least a C5 Galaxy to airlift Michael Moore into Iraq, but I don’t think that there’s a cargo chute made that would hold him. Given the size of the grease spot, we’d probably be accused of using chemical weapons.
–“We’ll need to fund more prisons to hold traitors.”–
Ummm…bullets are cheaper than prisons. Just sayin’
Hey Gunga, have you priced ammo lately? Ropes are cheaper in the long run as they can be reused over and over. If one just happens to break, get a seal club to finish the job.
Hmmm, seal-clubbing traitors… Not only is the rope cheaper, allthatsright, but think of what they’d be saving on staffing that job, because I’d do it for them on a volunteer basis. Heck, I’d pay the price of admission – what do you say, three swings at a traitor pinata for a buck? Could at be that we’ve found something the gub’mint could do at a profit?
As one serving overseas– I say the best thing in the world is a free box of Girl Scout cookies from the USO, they taste like home.
Can putting porn back into the PX and shoppettes be on that list Frank? They’ve pretty much taken all the spank material away from soldiers when they deploy. A year deployment is a long time when you only have Army women to look at.
How about we nuke sandy places before we deploy to any of them? Everyone hates all that sand – especially the super-fine sand that gets into EVERYTHING. Nuking would provide a less annoying surface…and probably take care of whatever problems existed there in the first place. The only sand I want to see is at the beach.
Dr T, I don’t think they need to sell them in AAFES. Have you ever seen the “wallpaper” in some of the living areas? I’ve had to avert my eyes on numerous occasions. With that much to spare, there’s gotta be plenty going around. I’d think they’re getting enough in care packages.
What they DO need to start selling in AAFES is guns and ammo. Why the hell shouldn’t I be able to order just about any firearm under the sun at my BX/PX? Come to think of it, they should just have an entire separate gun store on base! And enough of only taking issued weapons – why can’t I deploy with my weapons too?
How about armed segways. It is probably hot in Baghdad.
I’ve linked to you, and nominated you for SecDef, here.
http://consul-at-arms.blogspot.com/2006/11/re-frank-js-new-agenda-for-america_14.html
The 101st Pole Dancer Regiment. And a platoon of them gay Chippendale’s fellas for the ladies deployed.
As I’ve said before, Frank, my vote and my sword are yours whenever you are eligable to run for president…although your common sense would confuse everyone in Washington.
An even better use for traitors…target practice for boot camp and advanced tacticle training! I do like the “Running Man” concept, though!
We could bomb those annoying mosque’s that are always getting in between the forigners faces and the troops bullets.
I agree with everything you have said here and in your other posts, except for your soft stand on treason and traitors.
Wow, that is the longest most ignorant schpeel of malarkey I have ever read. Free speech. I will protest whatever I want whenever I want, try and stop me. Stop us. We dare you.