Dear Mexico,
How’s it going? I hope you are fine. We are very sorry that you are upset over our recent border incursion. It turns out that there was like this really big fire and we needed to put it out and stuff.
Sure, we crossed your border illegally, but we pretty much did what your people do every day. Remember, we did it because our people needed the work and had families back home they had to feed.
Ha ha. I made a little running across the border joke. Get it?
Anyway, I’m sure you will notice a few differences:
1. None of the forest service workers stayed to have babies with the hope of seeking Mexican Citizenship.
2. We are not asking any of your Mexican employees to learn English. If that offends you, please call our complaint line. Press 2 for Spanish.
3. Did you notice we left right away? Did you notice the part about not demanding free education or health care?
Again, we’re sorry if our recent incursion across the border bothered you. Next time there is a fire, we’ll be sure to send the firefighters in the most appropriate vehicle possible: In the back of a refrigerated trailer.
Thanks
America.
P.S. Please note that we used our water because yours would give our shrubber the runs or something.
Heh. That’s be great. I think we need to start illegally entering Mexico and start demanding free everything. We’ll refuse to learn spanish, pop out tons of kids, and reclaim Aslan. That’s our whitebread version of Aztlan.
Seriously, I think the reason Mexico is so dirty is because they keep sending their best cleaners up here. We should help them out. We should start by cleaning up the trash… like Vincente Fox and the whole cabinet and most of the police and… well, you get the point.
I’m sorry- we did WHAT?
Why would we STOP Mexico from burning?
Rightwingduck, you racist spaniard.
Hilarious!
It’s stupid for them to whine & bitch about it, since we pretty much own mexico anyway. Any chance that we could sell it in a yard sale for a few dollars?
We had the fire going. Where’s the pit of doom?
Sell Mexico at a yard sale? To whom????
I doubt it would go if we put it in the “Free” box…
You know we only go there to do the jobs that Mexicans just won’t do.
You know what would have kept this from happening?…
A Wall!
Funny letter, but you stopped so far short for the amount of comedic material that this episode handed you on a “burrito platter”.
Great site!