There has been some talk that Fred Thompson used to be for legalized abortion. This is a silly thing to focus on. If it’s true, you should all just be grateful that Fred Thompson reconsidered and decided to let you live.

I asked in the last bullet point of this post whether I was out of line, and, on second thought, I was. I based the point on what an American commander had said, but I really am not in any position to question the action of the men in the British military.
Furthermore, making humor on the whole situation is based on the assumption that nothing bad will happen to the captured sailors — that this is going to be some silly mess like when an American plane went down in the China and the Chinese government detained them (remember those carefree days?). Given the history of Iran, we can’t presume to know how this will turn out, though, and time is better spent with well-wishes for those taken hostage rather than ridiculing them.
So I apologize for the post.

Just in case you didn’t realize it, Israel’s maijuana rights party has declared that pot is forbidden on Passover.
So, girls and boys, that rolling thick smoke coming from under your door… that had better be the Angel Of Death coming to kill the first born of Egypt!

When I published important facts about Fred Thompson, it was a very popular post. Now everyone wants a Fred Thompson candidacy, but Fred Thompson has yet to state whether he intends to run. The reaction by many is to plead with Fred Thompson to run or to talk about drafting him, but you can’t force Fred Thompson to do what Fred Thompson does not want to do. Instead of focusing on him, we should focus on ourselves and ask the tough question: “Are we a good enough country to have Fred Thompson as president?”
I don’t know the answer to that, but what we can do is improve ourselves so that Fred Thompson may like us enough to be our leader. Here are some tips on what to do:
FRANK TIPS ON IMPROVING OURSELVES SO FRED THOMPSON MAY WANT TO BE OUR PRESIDENT
* Eat Breakfast: Fred Thompson knows that breakfast is the the most important meal of the day. If you don’t care enough about yourself to eat breakfast, why should Fred Thompson care about you?

Fred Thompson will not be the president of just any country.

* Control Your Children: Make sure your children are well behaved. Fred Thompson is not going to run a country full of screaming kids running around.
* Clean Your Guns: Guns are an important right, and if you don’t care enough about that right to maintain your guns, then Fred Thompson is going to wonder whether you deserve his leadership.
* Mow Your Lawn: Fred Thompson will only be president of a country where people take pride in land ownership. The most visible indication of this is how well you maintain your lawn.
* Drive a Powerful Car: Small, fuel-efficient cars disgust Fred Thompson. Ideally, your car should burn three gallons of gas just starting the engine.
* Use Proper Grammar: Why would Fred Thompson want to lead people he can’t even understand?
* Keep in Shape: Fred Thompson is not going to want to be associated with a country full of flabby people.
* Dress Appropriately: If Fred Thompson sees any baggy pants, that could dissuade him from becoming president.
* Get a Haircut: You think Fred Thompson wants to be president of a bunch of hippies? Then you don’t know Fred Thompson.
* Keep Informed: If you don’t even follow politics, then Fred Thompson doesn’t want your ignorant vote.
So, everyone, keep working on improving yourselves and then maybe we’ll soon hear that Fred Thompson has decided we deserve his presidency. Even if we’re not perfect, Fred Thompson will like the idea that we’re trying and perhaps take pity on us. Such is the way of Fred Thompson.
UPDATE:
PJM has now added Fred Thompson as a choice in their straw poll (you can vote on my left sidebar). He better poll well, because Fred Thompson will not enter the race if he feels people take him for granted.