When I published important facts about Fred Thompson, it was a very popular post. Now everyone wants a Fred Thompson candidacy, but Fred Thompson has yet to state whether he intends to run. The reaction by many is to plead with Fred Thompson to run or to talk about drafting him, but you can’t force Fred Thompson to do what Fred Thompson does not want to do. Instead of focusing on him, we should focus on ourselves and ask the tough question: “Are we a good enough country to have Fred Thompson as president?”
I don’t know the answer to that, but what we can do is improve ourselves so that Fred Thompson may like us enough to be our leader. Here are some tips on what to do:
FRANK TIPS ON IMPROVING OURSELVES SO FRED THOMPSON MAY WANT TO BE OUR PRESIDENT
* Eat Breakfast: Fred Thompson knows that breakfast is the the most important meal of the day. If you don’t care enough about yourself to eat breakfast, why should Fred Thompson care about you?
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* Control Your Children: Make sure your children are well behaved. Fred Thompson is not going to run a country full of screaming kids running around.
* Clean Your Guns: Guns are an important right, and if you don’t care enough about that right to maintain your guns, then Fred Thompson is going to wonder whether you deserve his leadership.
* Mow Your Lawn: Fred Thompson will only be president of a country where people take pride in land ownership. The most visible indication of this is how well you maintain your lawn.
* Drive a Powerful Car: Small, fuel-efficient cars disgust Fred Thompson. Ideally, your car should burn three gallons of gas just starting the engine.
* Use Proper Grammar: Why would Fred Thompson want to lead people he can’t even understand?
* Keep in Shape: Fred Thompson is not going to want to be associated with a country full of flabby people.
* Dress Appropriately: If Fred Thompson sees any baggy pants, that could dissuade him from becoming president.
* Get a Haircut: You think Fred Thompson wants to be president of a bunch of hippies? Then you don’t know Fred Thompson.
* Keep Informed: If you don’t even follow politics, then Fred Thompson doesn’t want your ignorant vote.
So, everyone, keep working on improving yourselves and then maybe we’ll soon hear that Fred Thompson has decided we deserve his presidency. Even if we’re not perfect, Fred Thompson will like the idea that we’re trying and perhaps take pity on us. Such is the way of Fred Thompson.
UPDATE:
PJM has now added Fred Thompson as a choice in their straw poll (you can vote on my left sidebar). He better poll well, because Fred Thompson will not enter the race if he feels people take him for granted.
Hard is the way to a Fred Thompson presidency.
This is without a doubt the best IMAO post ever. Ever.
Can we persuade Dick Cheney to run with Fred Thompson? I think even the Hildabeast would pee her pants. She may even pee Bill’s pants.
Dan Patterson
Arrogant Infidel
Doesn’t he look like jack nicholson?
He’ll need something to do after his Paul Harvey fill-in gig, after the ancient news radio legend returns from his latest battery of life extending maintenance in Sweden.
Remarkably enough, he is ahead in the PJM Straw Poll, without even running. People are counting on his consistent conservative record. Meanwhile, the Lefties, without an original thought in their heads are supporting Hitlery, and her promise of Universal Healthcare.
I have an idea, make an amendment where the entire Social(ist) budget cannot exceed the military budget for any given year. That would tie the DemoCRAPS in knots.
Do you think Fred Thompson would run if offer to throw the persian in my trunk off a cliff? I gotta do something with him soon, he’s really whiny and is stinking up the interior…OH CRAP!! That’s not a persian, that’s a hippy!…either one is still worthy of throwing off a cliff though, right??
I think it is time for the secret weapon, the Fred Tompson/Chuck Norris ticket. Liberals will shudder in thier shoes over that one…
I checked the voting record…two dickweeds voted for “Herself”… I’m guessing one was Sarcasm Boy but who else just had their testicals removed?
Frazier is running for president!?
What would Fred Thompson do? Mugs and Bumper stickers at CafePress (yes, I’m affiliated)
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How come I can’t vote for Mike Huckabee in the straw poll??
Yes! I was boycotting the poll until they added Fred as an option. You have no idea how excited I am that my first ever vote cast will be for Fred Thompson in the primaries. Woo hoo!