Found this from Blackfive:

Matt claims he got a 98, but he’s a liar.
Anyway, it’s a cool quiz on a huge variety of knowledge. Plus, it’s got Bruce Campbell.
Also, it’s only for men, so, if you’re a woman, go find some quiz about knitting and baking pies or something.

Trolls have signed me up for all sorts of weird stuff, so today I got an e-mail from NARAL Pro-Choice America (it used to be just called “NARAL” and that acronym actually stood for something… that was until they decided the word “abortion” was bad PR). Here’s the beginning of the letter (which is as far as I read):

Dear Frank,
I wrote to you recently to share my story about my contraceptive emergency.
Basically, it went like this – my boyfriend and I headed to our local Wal-Mart in Springfield, Ohio, to purchase Plan B® after our condom broke. But rather than sell us contraception that they had in the store, the pharmacist laughed in my face!
So, I called NARAL Pro-Choice America and NARAL Pro-Choice Ohio!

It’s like a tiny Wal-Mart. I like the toy section.

Here’s a better idea: Call Walgreens. Now, I never had a pharmacist laugh in my face, but I had to get an anti-biotic while visiting my parents in Boise (don’t ask) and had an unpleasant experience. I went to Wal-Mart where my parents get their meds, but the pharmacist gave me a hard time for not having my insurance card for prescriptions and said I’d have to wait like five hours until he’d make the two minute phone call to the insurance company. So I went to Walgreens. There’s one on practically every intersection in America.
But no. NARAL doesn’t want to do the easy thing. They want everyone to donate money and write letters instead of just going to the Walgreens which is probably just five yards away from them. Some people have too much time on their hands. That’s why I’ve always been for forced labor camps.

Eventually he’ll be called King “formerly known as Prince” Charles.

Prince Charles wants to ban McDonalds. Apparently, the British royalty, not being able to do anything about inbreeding, is focusing on fat consumption.
Of course, the whole things is confusing to me because I don’t understand the concept of royalty in our modern democracies. We have vapid celebrities who act stupidly and say even dumber things here in America, but they aren’t designated from birth for that task. What does British royalty do anyway? Are they like Wal-Mart greeters but for the Parliament? And how long does Britain plan on keeping this silly royalty thing going? In the year 3000, are they still going to have a bunch of state funded fops running around?
If I understand things correctly (and most likely I don’t), the British government funds the royal family, so why not have them do something useful like clean the parks? That’s what we American would do if we had royalty… that or hang them for touching our fries.

Currently going for $3,450 on eBaby.

I first heard about this on Red Eye: A woman was arrested for selling her baby to put a down payment on a used Dodge Intrepid. Now, someone explain to me why would we want to stop this transaction?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that someone who would sell her own baby is probably not going to make a very good mother. Know who is responsible, though? People who have enough spare money lying around to buy an extra baby. It takes planning and saving to raise that kind of dough.
So, we have here a transaction that moves a baby from bad parents to good parents… or, at least, better parents. Why would we want to stop that and arrest everyone involved? How does that help the baby?
The fact is that anti-baby selling laws are archaic and were originally established out of racism against gypsies. It’s time to join the modern world and sell our babies.

Because unlike some traitorous Americans, the Australians recognize just how cool Dick Cheney is, as can be seen by this banner displayed during his recent visit:

Besides, I already have my Fun Facts About Australia written.
[Hat tip to DylanKissane.com for the pic]

Al Gore has long led the fight against Manbearpig, claiming that Manbearpig is a danger to all humanity and that all of our vigilance is required. Gore has demanded action on the part of all American citizens to combat what he calls a “half-man, half-bear, half-pig menace,” saying we all need to install Manbearpig detectors on our houses and patrol the streets at night with shotguns. While some have dismissed the Manbearpig threat and say that Gore is simply desperate for attention and has no friends, Gore has always claimed to be “totally cereal.” Well, if he is totally cereal, then why do public documents show that Gore has been creating numerous half-man, half-bear, half-pigs in his basement lab?

Created by Gore; I’m super cereal!

All this time Al Gore has been demanding we change our way of life to be vigilant for Manbearpig, he has been creating them himself to work on his onion farm. Also, he’s quite possibly been having sex with them. The hypocrisy here is astounding. Yet Gore seems nonchalant, saying that for every Manbearpig he creates, he purchases a “Manbearpig offset” by donating to causes that fight Manbearpig. In a statement in a newly issued press release, he says, “I live a Manbearpig neutral lifestyle. I’m super duper cereal.”
I don’t buy it. I don’t see how donating money to a few causes can counteract the fact that he is creating numerous Manbearpigs which he claims to be a threat to our very existence. Of course, liberal bloggers have rushed to his defense pointing out that, as a rich person, Gore needs lots of Manbearpigs to harvest his onions. Also, they assert that, because Gore has done so much to combat Manbearpig, doesn’t he deserve the right to bugger them?
I’m sorry, but this is stupid. If someone who has been claiming so long that Manbearpig will end all life on earth doesn’t feel the need to change his own lifestyle is regards to the said half-man, half-bear, half-pig, I don’t see why someone like me of much more modest means can be expected to make such an effort. If you don’t see the hypocrisy is railing against Manbearpig while simultaneous creating them, then you aren’t cereal on this issue at all.

Extreme close-up of Frank’s white zone:

Apparently he was rooting around in some secret document room and decided to remove this item, Sandy Berger style.
Except I’m pretty sure Sandy suggested using your SOCK to help cover stolen papers.

Navy guys and gals entertaining themselves and us on an aircraft carrier.

Aside from the silly, poorly acted intro, I thought it was pretty funny. And lyrically it was practically almost completely identical to the original. But then I would expect all trained on duty Navy personnel to have good pitch.