Al Gore has long led the fight against Manbearpig, claiming that Manbearpig is a danger to all humanity and that all of our vigilance is required. Gore has demanded action on the part of all American citizens to combat what he calls a “half-man, half-bear, half-pig menace,” saying we all need to install Manbearpig detectors on our houses and patrol the streets at night with shotguns. While some have dismissed the Manbearpig threat and say that Gore is simply desperate for attention and has no friends, Gore has always claimed to be “totally cereal.” Well, if he is totally cereal, then why do public documents show that Gore has been creating numerous half-man, half-bear, half-pigs in his basement lab?
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All this time Al Gore has been demanding we change our way of life to be vigilant for Manbearpig, he has been creating them himself to work on his onion farm. Also, he’s quite possibly been having sex with them. The hypocrisy here is astounding. Yet Gore seems nonchalant, saying that for every Manbearpig he creates, he purchases a “Manbearpig offset” by donating to causes that fight Manbearpig. In a statement in a newly issued press release, he says, “I live a Manbearpig neutral lifestyle. I’m super duper cereal.”
I don’t buy it. I don’t see how donating money to a few causes can counteract the fact that he is creating numerous Manbearpigs which he claims to be a threat to our very existence. Of course, liberal bloggers have rushed to his defense pointing out that, as a rich person, Gore needs lots of Manbearpigs to harvest his onions. Also, they assert that, because Gore has done so much to combat Manbearpig, doesn’t he deserve the right to bugger them?
I’m sorry, but this is stupid. If someone who has been claiming so long that Manbearpig will end all life on earth doesn’t feel the need to change his own lifestyle is regards to the said half-man, half-bear, half-pig, I don’t see why someone like me of much more modest means can be expected to make such an effort. If you don’t see the hypocrisy is railing against Manbearpig while simultaneous creating them, then you aren’t cereal on this issue at all.
Something has always bothered me about manbearpig. His hooves are clearly more equine than swine. Perhaps he’s actually manbearpighorse?
I am much more concerned about globalswarming. And I am super serial.
As a man of science (I’m not a doctor, but I have a Master’s Degree, in Science!) I have to agree with Chris.
We all know that a human being has 46 chromosomes. What most of us don’t know is that a pig has 82 and a bear has 52. Most of us don’t know that, because I just made those numebrs up.
What we do know is that ManBearPig has 72 chromosomes. Using some simple math, we see:
72 * 3.3636 = 242
242 = 46 + 52 + 82 + x where x = 62
62 is exactly equal to the number of chromosomes in a horse (64) when you divide both by 1000 and round to the nearest hundreth:
62/1000 = .062 rounds to .06
64/1000 = .064 rounds to .06!!!
Science is clear that ManBearPig is, in fact, part HORSE as well.
The scientific consensus on this is clear and anyone, including Al Gore, who ignores the more than 85 UN Scientists who have more than 8 years experience in fields as wide ranging as statistics and algebra, is nothing more than a ManBearBigHorse denier and really, when you think about it, is worse than Hitler.
1/2 Man + 1/2 Bear + 1/2 Pig = 3/2 ManBearPig?
Is that even possible???
Well done Keith. I bet I know which part of the horse is involved.
Of course Sir Andrew.
A 3/2 manbearpig also equals 1 jackass.
I think I just broke something.
Keith,
Sadly, you are mistaken. We have found an individual with the ultimate authority – an advanced Liberal Arts degree, and this grand authority says there is no danger from the feared man-bear-pig.
He does not suggest that we join AlBore in his buggerring attempts though, unless we like l;ooking at hairy backs.
dugg
Does the “pig” part of the lineage make this part of Hillary’s family tree?
//Of course Sir Andrew.
A 3/2 manbearpig also equals 1 jackass.//
Specifically, 1 Rev. Jesse Jackass.
Heh, that’s gonna leave a welt.
You forgot to mention that Algore owns the company that makes ManBearPig offsets. So, he’s paying himself to make the ManBearPig offsets for the ManBearPigs he made.
The bastard.
Gore Lacks Personal Appeal But Just Keeps Talking Anyway
Mar 1, 2007, 2:58 PM US/Eastern
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By CAROL CELSIUS
Associated Press Writer
CHAUTAUQUA, N.Y.
Former Vice President Al Gore said what remains of his conscience is regularly challenged by a flagrant consumerism that contributes to the global warming he has warned the “little people” against.
“It is so hard for those of us who want to live according to our values,” Gore said, “especially those of us who really don’t have any values at all; we just keep making up more issues and crisis scenarios until we find a story with legs that we can flog to get face time.”
Gore was interviewed Thursday at the Chautauqua Institution, during the latest in a series of lectures he has given on global warming and the little-known, but deadly, manbearpig.
“I’m embedded in a culture that makes it so easy to just fly across the country over and over again in my chartered Gulfstream 5- on your dime- to airports, where I am driven by stretch limo to warn people about the dangers of fossil fuel consumption and global warming. I just go with all the flowing gas and support a pattern that’s horribly destructive,” he said. “And so you little people really need to address this personally by cutting back more. A lot more.”
Gore was the first to discover global warming at the western New York think tank in 1974. Since then, the ‘consensus’ that he has arranged to push the issue down everyone’s throats has grown stronger, he said, and the ability to make the point is not cluttered by mundane issues like world freedom, wars, poverty, AIDS and famine. “Those we can continue to ignore,” he said.
“This is by far the most serious challenge that I face or I have ever faced,” he said during the 90-minute appearance. “None of the other ones will matter and I’ll never be president if I don’t get this right.”
Later, Gore planned to sign copies of his book, “An Inconvenient Truth,” for a small, additional charge. The related documentary film was being shown on campus for $25 a ticket.
Dressed in a navy suit and tie and occasionally waddling from his podium, the rotund Gore showed the small audience dozens of his vacation slides to make his point that human behavior, if not changed, would destroy the planet. “And in this one, you can see I actually took a super-stretch Hummer limo to a red carpet photo-op at Cannes even though my luxury hotel entrance was only 500 feet away. Got to look good for those cameras.”
He pointed to the melting of glaciers and mountain ice caps, bleaching of coral reefs, strengthening of hurricanes and record numbers of tornadoes caused by his constant flying on chartered jet aircraft.
“I’m playing with fire here and you all have to act quickly,” he said. “The good news is you can, if you just cut back enough on those petty little things that make your insignificant lives more tolerable.”
Flyers distributed to attendees urged them to use candles, walk instead of drive, only flush once a day, give up wearing shoes and to avoid foods with a lot of nutrition to reduce bio-mass and carbon dioxide. Besides the 55 people in the auditorium, at least 2 or 3 people waited outside during his address.
Gore said he and his wife, Tipper, who was in the audience, had adopted a “carbon bullsh**ter’s lifestyle.”
“We’ve fallen into this pattern of consuming more and more and more and I’m the major part of it, I understand,” he said.
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
On the Net: http://www.goremakesclimatecrisisworse.net
Manbearpig working in Al’s onion fields? Does this mean that Manbearpig is actually a guest worker from South of the boarder?
Al Gore buggering Manbearpig? Well, one look at Tipsy Whore, and I guess Manbearpig would look enticing (kind of like louge lizards after 10 beers).
Hold on here! I think you are onto a relevent theory! If Manbearpig IS from south of the boarder, and Al Gore is buggering…it…then we have a probable origen for the Chupacabra! This would explain from which liniage the Chupacabra has acquired it’s skills to suck every drop of blood out of hapless victems!
Is it weird that I’m more concerned with the rising levels of smug in the air? It is a leading cause of global laming, after all.