One of the biggest problems facing society today is children today is idolizing overrated superheroes. We can’t have our next generation aspiring to be like any loser. That’s why I’m disheartened to see who are some of the superheroes popular with kids these days. Arguably one of the most overrated superheroes is Wolverine.
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Why the hell is this guy popular? He’s a short, hairy, Canadian whose main power is that he has knives on his hands. Yes, knives. Walk to the kitchen, pull a knife out of a drawer, and you’re now as powerful as Wolverine. Since he often operates under the superhero code where you can’t just kill villains, his powers end up even more useless. And how many situations have ever called for a guy with knives on his hands that couldn’t just be solved by carrying a Leatherman?
I guess, if the earth is invaded, the X-Men who can shoot lasers out his eyes, control the weather, and rip things apart with telekinesis will fight the aliens, and Wolverine can carve a turkey for when they get back.
Yeah, I know he also has his “healing factor” allowing him to quickly recover from any wound, but he kinda needs that since, being his only other power is the stupid knives, he’s going to get injured a lot. A lot. I mean constantly. He’d be the shortest lived superhero without it. Wolverine gets beat up so much, he wears the bright yellow costume so at least he won’t be involved hunting accidents as well.
The guy is a loser. If your kids think he’s cool, you should beat them.
Hey AquaMan–too bad about that US Navy Gay Bomb thing! Oh well, your outfit looks fabulous! It sounds by the tone of this writing that your advances on Wolverine may have met with some “resistance”? Keep trying–we are behind you–WAY behind you!!!
I expected more from you Aquaman. What leads a person to write a hate mongering piece like this? Are you just against superheroes, or are you anti-small people?
sounds like someone is jealous.
I’m betting Edward Scissorhands could kick his ass.
Wolverine IS a dick. Y’know he has those animal senses, too. But the only time he uses them is to smell when you are down to your last beer in your fridge, in which case he shows up and drinks it like it’s no big deal. When he’s done he’s all like, “Hey, whoa, you’re outta beer, bub? Heh, I gotta hit the road. See ya!”
Whatta dick. I’m with you, Aguahombre.
Jeez, Aquaman. I think you just need to go find a blowfish and relax…
BS, aquafag and here’s why…Logan goes hand to hand combat, baby, he gets right in there and kicks a$$, not waiting for some guppy or pu**y dolphin to come along and save his a$$. And if you’ve read any GROWN UP graphic novels you know Wolverine kills the bad guys, just like the Batman used to.
Is he an animal? Oh HELL YEAH! if I didn’t have my Benevolent Overlord Kal El, I’d want Logan for my owner.
Wolverine is immortal.
Eat a bag of hell!
peh, Wolverine’s main power is not claws or healing factor, it’s RAGE!
just like Rumsfeld.
Hey, Aquafag! Ya’ don’t get to talk shit about my drinking buddies. Even the canadian ones!
Ok, well someone always has to be the scapegoat for aggression, why not have someone who can’t be killed get beat up while all the other super heros come up with a plan to beat the villian?
Can you imagine storm getting beat to death while everyone thinks of a plan? She’d be dead… what about Gene? Spider man?
Wolverine has got to be one of the best heros of all time…
oh no you didn’t!!!!! Wolverine! I can’t believe you are talking bad about my Wolverine! All I have to say is SO’S YOUR FACE, AQUAMAN!!!!!!!!!!
Long before the movies were ever made, Wolvie was so bada$$.
The movies showed a kinder, gentler, PC-fied, Wolvie that was almost enough to make one hurl.
The old Wolverine is the best.
snikt
How is a dead Aquaman posting, anyhow?
Ya forgot about the adamantium skeleton, making it impossible for him to be killed by a head shot, or to break any of his bones. Couple this with the claws, healing factor, and really bad temper, and you have a walking, talking food processor. Except instead of food, he processes bad guys. And anyone else who pisses him off. I don’t remember Wolverine treating the “superhero code” as anything more than a loose guideline.
Amidst all the controversial discussion, it seems this one has crossed the line a little too far.
“Wolverine IS a dick.”
I resent that.
JEEZ. The Aquafag heard from yet again. I’m trying to come up with a Marvel superhero who COULDN’T kick Aquaman’s ass. A “D”-lister like Aquaman wouldn’t last 30 seconds with frigging Silver Sable, never mind one of the X-Men. Here’s a thought- the Aquapussy shuts up about Logan, or Namor shows up and uses that pansy Aquaman like a blow-up doll.
Awwwww…did someone’s widdle kiddie pool get some big old holes poked in it by mean old Wolverine and now the poor widdle man can’t play?
Poor Aquaman 🙁
Save the Wolverine…Save the World
Wow, it is truly amazing how many comic book connoiseurs post here at IMAO. But seriously, can’t we come up with something more creative than “Aquafag” or “Aquapussy?” I mean, honestly, some people have been reading way to much Seanbaby before coming here.
PS, Chris Claremont-written Wolverine is the only good Wolverine. Although the Steve Skroce story from a few years ago kicked major ass. Yes, I do live in the past, since Marvel’s present is leftist-asshole Joe Quesada butchering the hell out of continuity since it’s a “crutch to creativity” or some such nonsense. F^&* that fat bastard.
Uh, that should read “…Joe Quesada IS butchering…”
Sorry.
Hey, Aquaman!
My uncle has a special something that’s missing from the Utility Souls of other super men and ladies. Uncle Wolvie has spunk.
Spunk!
When he’s blown half to bits by a screwy blogger, does he drag his stinking carcass to an underwater hideaway? No. He heals and fights again. And again. And again. And do you know why?
Spunk!
So there!
Yours truly,
Brad
WE never turn down a challenge. You want MORE creative? YA got it. In alphabetical order we have:
Aquaasshole
Aquabitch
Aquaclown
Aquadick
Aquaecch
Aquafool
Aquagonad
Aquahissy
Aquaidiot
Aquajackoff
AquaKerry
Aqualout
Aquamoron
Aquanut
Aquaobtuse
Aquaprick
Aquaqueer
AquaRonPaul
Aquashit
Aquaturd
Aquaunlubricated
Aquavomit
Aquawussy
Aquaxanthous
Aquayokel
Aquazero
Oh, IT’S ON, you water logged, salinous sack o’ dumpster squeezins’!!! I got the business end of a fine Cheroot cigar for yer keister, you dog paddlin’ whale choad. See you at Red Lobster…with a side o’ rice pilaf & some broccoli after I filet your a$$ like a pricy piece of fugu.
Wolverine’s most obvious mutant ability is to be in every team in the Marvel Universe. At the same time.
Wolverine’s super power is not that he “has knives in his hands,” but that he can regenerate. He doesn’t get hurt, and all his wounds heal. That’s how they were able to put the metal in his body.
You can’t even post correct things about fictional superheroes.
Imagine the lies you spew about everything else.
You’re an ignorant buffoon.
“Weapon X” I haven’t heard that name in awhile.
In a long time.
“Weapon X” I haven’t heard that name in awhile.
In a long time.
“Weapon X” I haven’t heard that name in awhile.
Loggerhead
Tunaboy
Flounder
Watersucks
Itreallyreallysucks
By the way I agree with Flounder, Wolverine is way over rated.
(psst – but don’t kick him in the balls. He takes it personal.)
I think I know what’s going on here.
Aquaman.
Wolverine.
Can you say Sushi?
Orion
Excuse me, but Wolverine’s powers go far beyond “knives that come out of his hands.” No no good sir, Wolverine also has a healing power, and unbreakable adamantium covered bones, he is over eighty years old, and to do the thing that he does at over eighty, well, that just makes him the best at what he does.
Worst. Post. Ever.
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Aquabitch. That’s awesome. Although I am kinda partial to Aquaxanthous, too, but AquaKerry? That just seems so harsh!
I find it odd that someone named “Aquaman” is criticizing one of the most unique superheros ever drawn.
OK, so Wolverine has “knives on his hands,” huh? Well let’s look at Aquaman’s “superpowers:”
– Swims underwater and
– Talks to fish.
‘Nuff said.
I can’t believe what I’m reading — knocking Wolverine on THIS blog? He’s like a short, hairy Fred Thompson: likes a good cigar, filled with rage, and effectively indestructible. I don’t know his feelings on immigration, but since he’s a Canadian living in America, I’ll just go ahead and assume his views line up with Mark Steyn. So I’d vote for him.
Wolverine favors only legal immigration James, if y ou are an illegal and Wolverine finds out the last thing you hear is “snikt”.
“Just shoot him in the face from ten yards.”
I think that happened once, when Wolverine mistook Punisher for a bad guy. He spent the rest of the comic with a bad lisp and his skull exposed.
Actually, I just read this in one of those big Marvel compendiums: His claws don’t actually go “SNIKT”; it’s actually the sound of saying “FRED THOMPSON” really really quickly.
I thought Aquaman was killed. I distinctly remember reading something about that in a day in the life of Frank. Something about a whale named Rosie, and the monkeys that still haven’t died.
Or am I just smoking something?
Aquaman’s been dead a couple times. Then again, who hasn’t been?
I haven’t, NMUSpidey, but blame that on my proclivities to not be a bitch, unlike Aquaman.
I seem to remember Spider-Man taking on the entire X-Men during The Secret Wars. When he got to Wolverine, he just backhanded him about 30 feet and delivered this great line:
“You might scare the barroom bullies with those pigstickers, but to me you’re just a joke!”
Nuff said.
Spiderman for some reason becomes a team-wrecker whenever marvel needs a big story arc, Bunkerboy.