“What? NO! The tax will NEVER involve any of those denominations. Those bills just happened to be laying on the table when the picture was taken, that’s all! Pure coincidence!”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) explained her party’s sudden cooperative streak.
“Oh, we’ve always loved bipartisanship,” said Pelosi, “so we give the Republicans what they want – the ability to travel cross-country while concealed carrying – and we get what we… well, not ‘want’, exactly. I mean this tax means nothing to us, really. And it’s certainly not a deceptive back-door tactic to make ammunition unaffordable and the right to bear arms meaningless. Pinky-swear!”
The bill’s co-sponsor, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) was hopeful that this bill could usher in a new era of more harmonious inter-party relations.
“Historically, it’s true,” Hoyer said, “that Democrats have only watched out for their own interests. But this bill changes that. With no ulterior motives whatsoever, we extend this hand of friendship across the aisle to our friends on the right. Is that hand actually reaching for a lever that will open up a trap door underneath Republicans and drop them into a pit of alligators? Absolutely not! Pinky-swear!”
House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-SC) added that there was “really nothing to explain” in his party’s sudden collaborative turn.
“Look,” said Clyburn, “I know it’s a little unusual, but there’s no reason to be suspicious of anything. National reciprocity is an idea whose time has come. Given the ‘full faith and credit‘ clause, it’s a wonder the Supreme Court didn’t make it happen already. And whatever completely irrelevant little niggling detail we’ve asked for in return is certain not the murderous petard with which we plan to hoist every gun nut in America by taxing their ammo into oblivion. Pinky-swear!”
Asked if he’d sign such a bill into law, President Trump answered decisively.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d sooner email the Ayatollah our nuclear codes,” Trump said while making ‘you’re an idiot’ faces. “But when Democrats regain power, they might try something like this in the future. However, if we pick a rabid pro-gunner to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg when she retires, we’ll probably be able to get the tax invalidated on Second Amendment grounds alone.”
“But don’t worry Dems,” added Trump, grinning, “we won’t nominate Ted Nugent. Pinky-swear!”
—–
The Lucille Van Pelt Bill, eh?
democrats, displaying for all the vibe they feel in their dark little blood pumps, are again being the whores for cash we all know them to be. they understand that the 2A is the founding fathers second most untouchable amendment and so they want to go for the ammo. lucille van pelt indeed
I’d like to say that this whole thing is made up for the purposes of satire, but Seattle already charges a nickel per bullet.
The camel’s nose is creeping in…
Right now I am paying $0.04 per .22 LR round, so that would be a 25% increase in cost. Whereas, for a .50 BMG at $3.00 per round, an extra penny is negligible.
The 2nd Amendment never mentioned that government could not make you pay for using it. So, those smart axxes in Washington & state capitols can ram up their citizens that wish to own & use fire arms. Most pols are white shirt thugs anyway.
I know the 2nd has that gap, but I think Justice Nugent would still construe the tax as an infringement…
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What was your biggest regret in life Mr. Madison?
“I forget about the g-ddamn Ammo!”
Founding Father Rap
‘Shall not be infringed’
Implies impinged:
Taxed
Debated
Regulated
Or ripped from homeowners
Because of some moaners
Keepin’ it fair
“Safe, legal and rare”!
Self-preservation
The foundation
Of your house, state, or this whole damn nation.
Can’t be deleted
Can’t be unneeded
Or portrayed as lunatic-fringed:
A poor trade for those who doesn’t understand
Or don’t understand the demand:
“Shall not be infringed.”
“A poor trade for those who doesn’t understand” =
“A poor trade for those who don’t understand”
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Going after ammunition is the Gun Grabbers last hope. It will likely pass constitutional muster as long as there are not prohibitions against purchase. This is why it is so pernicious. That said, there could be ways around it by invoking the commerce clause.
It may not necessarily be a bad thing if concealed carry reciprocation results. This would force certain states to modify or ignore some of their more ridiculous anti gun laws.
I wonder if you tax it too highly there might not be a disparate impact case on discrimination grounds that it unduly effects poor people who are primarily minorities. Weaponize their own reasoning against them.
Just to be clear, this one’s completely made up. Neither of those proposals is actually on any table that I’m aware of.
Yet. Today’s parody is tomorrow’s legislation.