I got an idea to help the economy. What does a growing economy need? It needs people making more money. And there’s the problem we have now: People just aren’t making more money. And why is that? Well, maybe they’re just not motivated enough.
So how do we get people more motivated to get money? An ad campaign, that’s how! I don’t know why no one ever thought of this before, but we should put up a bunch of ads detailing the advantages of money so people are more motivated to get it.
For instance, in an ad we could have one guy say:
“I was out of luck. I didn’t have a roof over my head or food to eat. And then one thing fixed my problems: Money.”
And then another guy say:
“Through the toughest times, one thing got me through: Money.”
And yet another guy say:
“People didn’t like or respect me, but something finally changed that: Money.”
And then an ad could detail exactly all the sorts of “goods and services” money can be exchanged for. Soon people will be like, “Wow; this ‘money’ thing looks quite useful. I should get more.” And then people will go out and come up with new ways to make money and — BOOM! — the economy is back on track.
It’s a great idea. If the government would like me to get working on it, I will do it in exchange for free samples of the product I’ll be selling.
You may be onto something here…
More welfare so everyone (except the dirty, rotten, filthy, evil rich) will have more money!
What does a growing economy need?
Electrolytes
They could show some loser dating fat ugly chicks and then he starts making serious jing and all of a sudden he’s dating babes with large breasts! That would be cool!
But is it shovel ready, Frank? Is it shovel ready?
It could be like those Enzyite commercials – but this this time the “enhanced” lump in Bob’s pants is a fat roll of cash.
See, you’re running against a truism:
Drugs get you through times without money better than money gets you through times without drugs.
MarkoMancuso, all money is shovel ready. If you have money, I have a shovel and I am ready.
Look at your Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohans to see what a mind that can just write a check for every life problem turns you into. The rest of us have reality keeping us on a short leash. While driving like an idiot is no big deal for them because insurance and repair costs dont stress them like it does us that type of clueless recklessness spills over into the rest of their lives. They end up doing crazy things because their money took too much of the life out of life and they struggle to feel alive. “Eye of the needle” indeed.
@Raving -nice mike judge’s Idiocracy refrence!
It’s got electrolytes. Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.
Why do you keep saying that – “Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.”?
Because they pay me everytime I do. For the smartest guy in the world, you’re pretty stupid. Brought to you by Carl’s Jr.
Money is green and its becoming more invisible and their Green Jobs which the stimulus and the government take over of GM was supposed to spark off the next economic revolution, I am sure there is a joke there about how when a leftists says “green” it means invisible but very expensive. Like how when they say “constituional” it means feels good and unconstituional = feels bad etc
“constitutional” sorry for the spelling
But isn’t it evil to want to make money if you’re not a politician or in the movie and television industry?
Plentyo,
You clear the garden for me properly and I might just keep you around for summer to help plant the sweet corn.
Here’s my commercial, which I wrote:
Embarassed woman holding her open empty purse at a fast food checkout (Carls’s).
“Wa wa wa waaaaa” (TV commercial sound)
Announcer: Has this happened to you?
Next day. Woman is talking with her spiffy neighbor.
Neighbor guy: That used to happen to me, too. Then, I got Employed.
Announcer: Get Employed! Now enhanced with 10% more money!
so lets just print trillion dollar bills and give one to everyone – yay money!
I don’t know about this new money stuff. I might just keep to trading for stuff with sea shells, beads, moonshine and animal furs.
Let’s give people who won’t work fewer green rectangles than those who do work.
Instead of the other way around , as we do now.
I like the way Dennis miller says it,
“Help the helpless, but screw the clueless.”
The problem with money is that we have made ours so secure that it fools the printers and it can’t even be printed anymore ($100.00) bills. I’m not sure how that is going to work out for all of you when you go to the bank with your pitiful little paychecks (after deductions) and they can’t dole out the cash! (I am a sub s corp and get the whole wad of cash up front and then my CPA figures out how I didn’t really make any money…it’s pretty cool!) I have a gob of gold and silver that I can use when cash is no longer available and it will be worth like a trillion dollars an ounce! Muwahahaahahah!
The only problem with your plan ussjimmycarter, is that is might take trillions of dollars to fill up your gas tank by then.
Replace the word money with “Work” and I’m with you. Obama’s stash will not improve your life. It will only give you enough to buy a lotto ticket. Work will get some money and keep you out of the 7-11.
Work = producing or providing goods or services of value to someone else.
Money = a way of keeping score – the higher the quality of the product, or the higher the demand for the product, and the faster you can produce it, the more money you acquire.
Maybe there should be two kinds of money; the kind you get for just existing, and the kind you earn; and the 2 kinds should be visibly different, as a sort of status symbol.
Like the difference between a first place trophy and a participation ribbon.