Most people think if there is intelligent life out there that’s learned to space travel, it will be nice like we are and want to be our friends and touch us with light-up fingers. Science! says otherwise. According to Science!, any other life out there most likely wants to destroy us for our resources like oil and gold and nacho cheese. That’s because according to evolution, it’s predators that get all the intelligence. And you know what predators do? That’s right: Predatate!

So why don’t we have space lasers yet? Space lasers, of course, are lasers in space. They are useful for all sorts of things involving space and lasers. Now, I was thinking they’d be fun for shooting terrorist because if a terrorists is just standing there and suddenly — out of nowhere — gets shot by a laser from space, that’s pretty funny. But what about aliens? Now, where do aliens come from? That’s right: Space! And Mexico — but not in the context we’re talking about right now. And what would be good for shooting things in space? That’s right: A space laser as it’s already in space and is a laser!

So one day, aliens will come by and broadcast to us, “We come in peace. We wish to–” And we’ll be like, “You won’t get our gold, alien space predators! Initiate laser death!” And then Pew! Pew! Pew! Our space lasers destroy all the alien ships. And Science! saves the day once again.

So liberals are in full noise mode, but a new Gallup poll says that the majority see right through it and believes liberals are bringing up conservative rhetoric out of political opportunism. In addition, 72% say that more gun control wouldn’t have helped.

It really seems that since 2008, liberals have lost ability to convince the American people of anything. Of course, the left aren’t really aware of that because they tend to hang out with each other and see how convincing their arguments are to other liberals and thinks that means anything to the American people at large. And nothing — not even huge election losses — has woken them from their disconnect with normal people.

Just look at Bill Maher uncomfortable appearance on the tonight show. He’s so ignorant about the American people he’s now lashing out hatefully out of delusional fear. Apparently, he really thinks the hundred million conservatives out there are all about to kill him or something. They didn’t commit political violence last year or the year before that or the year before that, but any day now they’re coming for him! He’s sure of it! The completely unrelated violence in Tuscon only reminds him how imminent violent conservatives are. And they must be awful and violent because otherwise why would he hate them so much?

I’m not sure how you snap people out of that when they’re so entrenched in their own ignorance and filled with so much anger at their delusions of what other people are like. I guess we need some sort of tolerance program for liberals to expose them to more conservatives and learn not to be so hateful of them. Or we could say, “Shut up, hippie!” and punch them in the face. That’s kind of what the last election was, though, and that obviously didn’t get through to them.

Everyone knows that liberals hate the Constitution, but I explore why in my latest Pajamas Media column. Caution: May contain heated rhetoric that will instill in you the urge to kill.